


Lemon's misadventures in dating

by MermeladaDeMariposa



Series: Canadians being useless lesbians [1]
Category: Canada's Drag Race RPF, RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Lemon gets tinder, Let's Just See What Happens, Pretty much all fluff, Smut adjacent, and is very thirsty, angst and anxiety and useless lesbians, everyone else is a lesbian or bi or pan, lemon is a lesbian, ok maybe some smut now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:14:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 43,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26331751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MermeladaDeMariposa/pseuds/MermeladaDeMariposa
Summary: Lemon tapped her yellow acrylic nails against the screen of her phone. It was now or never: she could either wallow in her post break-up misery for another two months; or she could finally start piecing her life back together and get back on the dating scene. She shook her head at the ridiculousness of her current emotional turmoil, blinking, sighing, and finally pressing the ‘download’ button on her screen. For the first time in three years, she was single. And for the first time in three years, she was going to use a dating app.
Relationships: Kiara/Kyne (Drag Race), Lemon/Kiara/Kyne, Lemon/Kyne, Lemon/Priyanka (Canada's Drag Race RPF), Lemon/everyone, Past Lemon/Juice Boxx, Rita Baga/Lemon
Series: Canadians being useless lesbians [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1968469
Comments: 110
Kudos: 89





	1. Lemon's (re)introduction to dating

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I love all the Canada's Drag Race girls SO MUCH that I thought I'd attempt a fic which includes everybody, and since Lemon is probably the most versatile queen (lol), she's the central figure! I'm also on tumblr (@mermelada-de-mariposa - yes, it's supposed to not make sense), and I am always open to comments, feedback, suggestions, and general chit chat! 
> 
> Thank you for reading! :)

Lemon tapped her yellow acrylic nails against the screen of her phone. It was now or never: she could either wallow in her post break-up misery for another two months; or she could finally start piecing her life back together and get back on the dating scene. She shook her head at the ridiculousness of her current emotional turmoil, blinking, sighing, and finally pressing the ‘download’ button on her screen. For the first time in three years, she was single. And for the first time in three years, she was going to use a dating app.

The icon spun for a few seconds, the app finally opened on her screen. This, she supposed, was the easy part. She decided to link her Facebook profile to speed things up, and pressed the buttons that she was a woman, interested in women. Not wanting to spend too long on a profile she wasn’t even sure she’d use, she chose her current favourite photo of herself to head up her profile, an adorable portrait of her sat on her kitchen floor, in plaid pyjamas, cuddling her dog. Nobody needs to know that an hour after the bliss pictured, she’d cried herself to sleep, once again unable to shake the feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy from her mind. She quickly followed by adding an assortment of photos from her Instagram which she felt best “advertised” herself: posing happily in front of the theatre where she’d just performed, cradling a giant bouquet of flowers (from her grandma, bless her); holding her leg in a grand-battement in the ballet studio, clad solely in a black leotard and bright yellow legwarmers; staring seductively into the camera lens at the dinner table, which could have been sexy if it weren’t for the floating crab claws above her head, courtesy of an off-camera Jan; and a simple selfie she’d taken moments before at her desk, with her thick-rimmed glasses perched on her nose and her hair tied back in a messy heap on top of her head. She looked at the five images, hoping that people would be able to see the kind of upbeat, loyal, and fun-loving person she really is. Or, at least, the person she can be when her heart isn’t broken. Next came her bio, which she really couldn’t be bothered with, so she just wrote the only vaguely amusing tagline she could think of:“ _Pucker up, motherfuckers_.” 

Happy with her choices, she finally clicked the ‘save’ button and waited. The loading screen turned and twisted for what seemed like an eternity, which almost gave Lemon enough time to change her mind and delete everything. But before she could even contemplate quitting, the first profile sprung up in her hand.

**Priyanka, 29  
Within 10 miles**

Wow, this girl – sorry, grown ass goddess – was stunning. There was no other way of putting it. Lemon bit her lip as she scrolled through the photos, holding back her giddy excitement at the prospect of getting to know Priyanka. 

_Nope_ , she thought, _don’t get too carried away. She hasn’t matched with you yet. She probably hasn’t even seen your profile yet. And she also probably wouldn’t want anything to do with you, you dumb bi-_ Dropping her phone and jumping onto her bedroom floor Lemon resorted to the best way of controlling her anxiety she could: doing a handstand against the wall, while singing the national anthem. The first time she attempted it was after her dad – in a panic himself – had suggested it, not sure how best to look after his daughter as her breaths shortened and her pulse raced. As it turned out, it was the perfect distraction for her adrenaline-fuelled brain, and she now kept it as her secret weapon against her hidden anxiety monsters. Maybe she could share it with someone else one day. As she finished the last long note, she stood back upright and lay back on her bed, carefully timing her breathing. 

_Okay, now where was I...?_

Priyanka was hot. She had a picture sat on a beach in a blue and white striped bikini, followed by one in a beautiful white and gold lehnga, taken in what looked like a garden, but Lemon’s favourite was the candid snap of a laughing Priyanka in the middle of a street, surrounded by people, holding a pride flag around her shoulders. Without needing to think anymore, Lemon swiped to the right...

...and nothing happened. Without feeling too disheartened – she had only just downloaded the app, after all, these things take time – she read through the next profile.

**Rita, 33  
Within 10 miles**

Now Rita was completely different from Priyanka, but Lemon wasn’t complaining. Her main profile picture was an artsy selfie, with her short platinum hair sleeked back, making her look every inch the sexy business lady Lemon loved. As she scrolled through the pictures, she learned that Rita was clearly a lover of the 80s, as she was definitely not afraid of bright make-up or loud, monochromatic clothing. Glancing down at bio, it simply read " _Je me sens sous-titrée_ ”. At school, Lemon may have dropped French as soon as she was allowed to, but it only added to her already growing intrigue. Even more enticing, however, was the final image, where Rita appeared to be dressed as a young Céline Dion, passionately serenading a hot dog. Swiping right was a no-brainer.

The next profile quickly followed, with Lemon once again swiping right. 

**Kyne, 21  
Within 10 miles**

She was younger than Lemon would have usually gone, sure, but Kyne was pretty. She was tanned and toned and had perfect eyeliner and was a final-year mathematics and statistics major?! Sign her up!

**Kiara, 22  
Within 10 miles**

“ _Kiki wanna kaikai, maybe you’ll be my type ;)_ ". That was all the next girl had written in her profile bio, the suggestive nature making Lemon audibly snort. She would definitely be down for some fun with Kiara, she had to be a supermodel! The tall girl was a vision in red, with her dark hair cascading down her back as she posed for the camera. It was an obvious right-swipe.

**Tynomi, 39  
Within 10 miles**

Okay, so maybe Lemon had forgotten to set an age filter, but now she was glad it had slipped her mind. Tynomi was exquisite – if Lemon could have a figure like that at 39, she’d be a very happy girl. There was no bio to read, only four photos. In the first two, Tynomi was wearing a skin-tight lime green t-shirt dress, standing on a balcony looking out to the sea. In one, she started moodily at the camera, her honey-blonde hair gently blowing behind her. Though in the second one, Lemon could practically hear the laughter radiating from the tall woman, her mouth wide open and teeth sparkling in the sunlight.  
_I wonder what was making her laugh like that_ , Lemon pondered, zooming in to where she wishfully thought she saw the faint outline of a nipple through the thin material. _Maybe one day I could make her laugh, and then I’d laugh at how much she is laughing, and we’d be so happy together... Uh oh, control yourself, Lem. Focus. Let’s not get carried away... But fuck, please choose me, Tynomi!_

**Boa, 25  
Within 10 miles**

Lemon stared at the profile, pursing her lips. She knew deep down that as much as she told herself she didn’t have a type, all of her past fixations – yes, including she-who-must-not-be-named – had one thing in common. They were all skinny bitches. But Lemon wanted to change that, she really did, she is now at an age where she needs someone she can bond with on a deeper level and have some fun with. And Boa looked very, very fun: her profile picture was her sat on a bale of hay while dressed as a cow, how could you not be entertained?! The rest of her photos followed a similar theme, until Lemon reached the final one, which took her breath away. Boa stood on a spiral staircase, with a huge smile upon her face as her sparkly silver dress hugged all her curves.  
_She’s funny, she’s pretty, she has amazing tits... let’s do it!_

And then, she saw it. To say she felt her eyes pop out of her head, her lower jaw hit the floor, and her stomach turn inside-out would be an understatement. Two months after blocking her on every platform she could think of, two months after deleting every photo of her, two months after having her heart shattered... There she was, staring straight into Lemon’s soul.

**Juice, 26  
Within 10 miles**

Lemon’s mind went blank. In her haste to get the beaming picture of the girl she may-or-may-not still be in love with off her screen as quickly as possible, her thumb slid the screen to the right. Before her brain could even catch up with the atrocity she had just committed, a bright, white notification popped up on her phone.

" **CONGRATULATIONS! You have matched with Kiara!** ”


	2. The first date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you had told Lemon yesterday that just 15 hours after downloading Tinder, she’d be on a date, she’d have probably laughed and cried simultaneously. But sometimes life has a habit of accelerating things...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back again! I'm not great at writing dialogue, so I hope you can all follow okay - let me know if you have any tips!
> 
> PSA: this AU is set in a world without Covid-19; unfortunately for us, it is a reality. Please avoid physical contact with anybody not in your household or support bubble, wear a mask, and hopefully we'll be back to normal soon!
> 
> Once again, thank you for reading!

“Oh my god you went for the lemon drizzle cake, you have good taste! Although I already knew that ‘cause you picked me!”

If you had told Lemon yesterday that just 15 hours after downloading Tinder, she’d be on a date, she’d have probably laughed and cried simultaneously. But sometimes life has a habit of accelerating things. She’d matched with two girls in the space of an hour, so decided to try her luck and chat to them. While she had been left on read by Kiara, Kyne had replied to her generic opener of “ _hey cutie!_ ” immediately. And again. And again. Even more surprising was when she found herself accepting the student’s offer to meet for coffee the next day. So here she was, sat opposite the bubbly younger girl, praying to any god who’d listen that she wasn’t about to be lured into a murderer’s lair. 

Kyne, so far, had been very chatty. Incredibly chatty. She had shown absolutely no nerves at all about meeting a stranger from an app, immediately pulling Lemon into a hug and kissing her on the cheek. She launched into a one-sided conversation about the café they were going to, her class that morning, her messy roommate... and Lemon just tried her best to keep looking interested, even if she sometimes caught herself thinking about what she was going to have for dinner once she made it back home. 

As Kyne took a bite of her muffin, Lemon took advantage of the lull to try and steer the conversation to something a bit more relevant to herself.

“Have you ever been to the Portuguese place around the corner from here? They do the best custard tarts, I used to go there to study and I’d somehow manage to eat five in a day!”

The Filipina looked at her through her furrowed brow, wiping a crumb from her lip with her knuckle. “Didn’t you do dance at college? What would you need to study for?”

Trying her hardest not to roll her eyes – she had had this conversation before, but it had never been put to her so curtly – Lemon sighed. She had decided a while ago that the date wasn’t going well due to Kyne’s apparent disinterest in anything but herself, and now her mocking tone was the icing on the cake. Nevertheless, she squeezed out a small, horizontal smile. “Obviously it was mostly practical work, but we had classes on dance history and theory, like different choreographers and schools, and quite a lot of anatomy and physiology.” Lemon always tried to see the best in everyone, it made life so much easier when the positives were amplified. But it was becoming increasingly difficult when Kyne scoffed at her reply. 

“Yeah, but it’s not as if it’s real studying, is it? I probably could’ve passed the exam without taking the classes!” And just like that, she began on another tangent about how her Grade 9 science teacher would give her college-level homework for fun. Unfortunately for Lemon, she was far too polite – and Canadian – to think of an excuse to wind things up early. 

Eventually, just an hour after they’d first met at the subway station, things seemed to come to their natural conclusion. Just as Lemon was wrapping her scarf around her neck, Kyne spoke up again. “Listen, Lemon, I’m sorry. I can tell you haven’t enjoyed this one bit, I’m really not good at social stuff.” For the first time that day, the brunette actually seemed sincere, which took Lemon completely off guard. _Damn it_ , she cursed herself, _why am I so soft? Look at those big, sad eyes, how could I be mad?_

“It’s okay...” she began, but Kyne stopped her.

“No, seriously, shit, I panicked when I first saw you because you are just as gorgeous as your profile and I had no idea what to talk to you about, so I went into overdrive. I’m really sorry for wasting your afternoon.”

“Kyne, seriously, don’t worry. I’m totally new to this and would’ve had no idea what to talk to you about either.” Lemon’s inner voice was saying something completely different to her outside one, her sudden change of heart shocking herself. _Where has this come from, you were desperate to escape a minute ago! Stop being so nice!_ Maybe she was just flattered by Kyne calling her gorgeous, maybe she was just a lonely lesbian who was desperate for any sort of spark. Whatever it was, she now wished she could stay a little bit longer. 

Pulling on her coat, the younger girl subtly wet her lips, meeting Lemon’s eyes in an alluring gaze. “If you don’t have plans now, you could always come back to my apartment and I can make it up to you?” 

Kyne’s forwardness should have surprised her, but in an odd way, she had expected this to happen: they did meet on an app, after all, isn’t that what most people use it for? Lemon quickly weighed up her options. _They always say that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, and judging by today, Kyne would definitely want me under her, so that might be fun... but then what if she lives in a dungeon and nobody ever sees me again? I’m not ready to be on a True Crime podcast..._ Glancing back across the table at the short girl in her zebra-print jacket, still watching her expectantly, she decided that she was genuine. Plus, she was so petite that Lemon could definitely take her down if she had to. 

“Fuck it, why not?”

Kyne’s eyes crinkled as she grinned wildly. “Great news, because my roommate is working ‘til late and my vibrator died last night!”

The blonde couldn’t hold back a cackle at her companion’s eagerness, and for the first time, she felt somewhat at ease around her. “Perfect, just let me text my parents that I’ll be out late.”

“Oh, so she likes to take her time, duly noted!” sniggered Kyne, earning herself a light slap on the shoulder.

Fishing her phone out of her handbag to text her parents (and Jan, just in case), she noticed two bold notifications.

**Congratulations! You have a new match!  
You have received a message from Rita! **


	3. Some swiping, some chatting, some French

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One date done, what’s next for Lemon?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again everyone! I’ve sat on this chapter for a while, trying to make it *right* to no avail, so hopefully this is okay! Thank you all again for reading, I love you all!

As soon as Lemon had arrived home after her date with Kyne – at 9 o’clock the following morning – she flopped onto her bed and checked her phone. She opened the app to be greeted with a number of new messages.

 **[08:48]** Hope you got home safe baby, please try not to fall in love with me now xx

The first one she read, from Kyne, made her chuckle, she’d actually had a really, REALLY good time last night. It turned out that there was actually a very easy way to get the girl to stop talking. Kyne had every reason to be cocky, and Lemon hadn’t been made to feel so good for a very long time. She had even managed to go a couple of hours without thinking of _her_. Speaking of _her_ , they still hadn’t matched, which was definitely for the best, as Lemon didn’t think she could stand the inescapable mutual awkwardness if they did. But then did that mean that Juice had swiped left on her? Deciding to stop the mental tennis before it got out of hand, she pulled up the bottom message on her list, from yesterday.

 **[16:04]** Bonjour hi, Miss Lemon! Tu parles français? Or am I needing to practice my English? :-) 

Rita. From her profile, she looked every bit the no-shit-taking dom top with a major mommy’s little girl kink, but her message was kind of sweet. The fact she had even bothered to check what language Lemon spoke was cute, she supposed, but she crossed her fingers that Rita had an edge and wasn’t all politeness and niceties. Now that Lemon had had her first taste of Tinder hook-ups, she was ready to dive in with no fear. Well maybe just a tiny bit of fear. She quickly typed out a reply, partly assisted by the internet, and sent it off.

 **[09:09]** I’m assuming you don’t count ‘voulez-vous coucher avec moi’ as proper French 😉

_Is it completely cliché and unoriginal? Yes. Has Rita probably already received hundreds of messages saying the same thing? Yes. But I’m tired and still feeling fucked out, so it’ll do. If she likes me, she’ll bite. Hopefully for real, soon…_

Following on, she finally had a reply from Kiara.

 **[19:20]** Hi girlie! I am SO sorry for replying so late, I have been working all day and all night this week ☹️ but seeing your profile made me feel better 🙂 how are you??

Double-checking quickly in case she’d missed something important, she realised that the girl’s profile didn’t say what she did as a job, so that seemed like a good place to start.

 **[09:13]** Don’t worry at all, hon! But I’m glad I can help 😉 I’m doing okay thanks, and u? What do you do for work? x

 _Is a kiss on the end too forward or too friendly_ , she pondered, trying to remember if she’d done the same for Rita and Kyne before her. _It’s done now_ , I’ll soon find out, I guess!

 **[23:56]** You’re named after the wrong fruit, because you’re definitely a fineapple

The third message was from Boa, who she must have matched with during the night. She loved it. She wanted it on a cross-stitch, framed above her bed. She’d definitely made the right choice with this girl. _Now, how to match her at her own game..._

 **[09:15]** You udderly impressed me with that one!

As soon as it had sent, Lemon was hit with a massive wave of self-doubt: what if Boa didn’t get the pun and just thought she was weird? She’d always thought she was quite funny, but what if that was all a lie? There was still time to rectify it.

 **[09:15]** Because of the cow costume, get it?  
**[09:15]** It’s so cute!!!  
**[09:16]** You seem really fun 😀  
**[09:16]** And it helps that your hot  
**[09:16]** You’re^ 

_Shit shit shitting shit, that is way overboard for a reply. What the fuck have I done? Oh dear lord, well Boa, it was nice knowing ya! I don’t blame you for blocking me and running to the hills!_

Some more general swiping ensued as Lemon awaited some replies, she started aimlessly swiping again through the single ladies of Ontario.

**Scarlett, 29  
Within 10 miles**

_Hmm, she looks like she has a bit of filler in those lips but she still looks hot, I like her tattoos, and HOLY SHIT SHE’S EATING FIRE fuck yeah, okay Scarlett! I’ll take that!_

**Ilona, 25  
Within 10 miles**

_Okay I love her make-up, I love her style... all her photos are selfies, does that mean she has no friends? Don’t be silly, Lem, my camera roll is full of selfies and I’m just fine. I think. Hey, Ilona!_

**Starzy, 38  
Within 10 miles**

_Oh wow, she’s hot. Her bio literally says, “Call me mother”. That has to be the hottest thing I have ever read, yes please!_

After a few more likes and dislikes, Kiara’s name lit up at the top of her screen. Not wanting to seem too keen, she waited a monumental thirty seconds before checking the message.

 **[09:22]** I work on a movie set, but nothing glamorous, I help with hair and makeup. It pays my rent 🙂 I am pretty tired today but I have a deadline soon so I have to keep writing ☹️ where do you work? x

Just as she was thinking of the best way to word her current, work-less situation, a reply also came in from Rita, which Lemon accidentally clicked on sooner than she meant to, completely blowing her cool façade.

 **[09:25]** I’ve never heard that one before...

Lemon’s heart sank at the thought of her impending rejection, but a new message arrived seconds later.

 **[09:25]** At least look up how to say it less formally, I’m not that old!!!!

Smiling at the thought of Rita not automatically hating her – not outright rejecting her – Lemon started to type a reply, but stopped when a third message appeared.

 **[09:26]** Mais si je dis oui, es-tu vraiment libre ce soir? ;-)

Somehow, the more Lemon stared at the words, the less sense they made. She now severely regretted passing her time in French class admiring Madame Benet’s assortment of leopard-print clothing, rather than actually learning. But there was a winky face at the end, which made her heart race, even without understanding the rest of it. Highlighting the text and taking it straight to Google, she couldn’t help but bite her lip as she got Rita’s point.

 **[09:30]** Wee wee, madame 💛 give me a place and a time xx

As much as she may have been looking forward to a good night’s sleep tonight, she still felt the swarm of butterflies flap around her tummy at the thought of Rita’s hands on her, telling her she was a good girl… _Don’t get carried away yet, dummy, save it for tonight! I need a cold shower if I’m going to survive the next few hours_. Before jumping into action mode, though, the first thing Lemon needed was a nap.

Rousing awake a few hours later, she padded downstairs to make herself a sandwich and a tea, continuously checking her phone with the hope tha Rita had replied. Met with silence, she then took her time to shower, deep conditioning her golden blonde hair and shaving everywhere she could, so she could at least feel better prepared than she had yesterday. _Not that a grown-up adult lady like Rita would mind, of course, but it’s all part of getting in the zone_ , Lemon hummed to herself as she let the water wash away any anxiety she might have had about tonight. 

She already knew what underwear she would wear: her favourite black bra with a light furry trim around the cup, and a lacy black thong. She was so sure that Rita was on the same page about how the night would end, she felt like she didn’t have to worry too much about what went over it, opting for indigo skinny jeans and a beige polo-neck. By the time she had finished her makeup, it was almost 5pm, and she still didn’t know the plan. Sitting up on her bed, contemplating how she would explain to her parents that she was spending the night out again, she once again opened the app, hoping that Rita hadn’t backed down. With still no reply, she couldn’t help the frustration which bubbled inside her, she didn’t spend so long stretching to shave the backs of her thighs for nothing! Even more discouraging was the lack of reply from Kiara… until she looked at the last message sent, and realised that she’d unwittingly left the poor girl on read.

_Shit, I thought I’d replied already! That explains it… now how to explain that I’m a dancer who doesn’t dance anymore and has moved back in with my parents with no ambition to find anything else anytime soon?_

**[16:58]** You’re a busy lady! What do you study? 😊  
**[16:59]** I’m a dancer, currently hopping from audition to audition, hoping somebody likes me enough!

The reality was that Lemon hadn’t attended any auditions for over a month. She had tried to throw herself into her work after the break-up, but had soon realised that with a broken heart came an enormous lack of drive. She told the contemporary company she was a member of that she needed a break, and they told her to not bother coming back. So here she was, hoping that one day she’d once again wake up with a flame inside of her. Luckily, Kiara didn’t push her to expand on anything just yet.

**[17:04]** So a bit like Tinder then! Don’t worry, I’m sure lots of people will like you enough… in dance and Tinder!  
**[17:05]** I study film and theatre, it’s fun 🙂 but a lot of essays to write in English which takes me forever lol  
**[17:06]** That makes me sound like an idiot!! I promise I’m not, just Québéquoise!!  
**[17:06]** Are you from Toronto? 🙂

 _Well at least if tonight doesn’t go ahead, I’ve still got a French option for the future_ , she sighed, running her fingers through her hair as she thought of an answer. 

**[17:08]** Haha, I believe you 😉 my dad is from Portugal, but I think there are 2 year olds who speak better Portuguese than I do 🥺  
**[17:08]** That sounds super interesting! Your job on the side must help a bit then?  
**[17:08]** And I am, Toronto gal born and bred! How long have you lived here?

Just as she was about to put her phone down for the evening and fall into another nap, the message she’d been waiting for finally arrived, and Lemon found herself scrambling to read it.

 **[17:09]** Sorry, lovely Lemon, work was kicking my ass all day. Does Mado’s at 8pm work for you? X

Lemon couldn’t resist one final reply, just in case there was any doubt in Rita’s mind how the night would progress. 

**[17:10]** Sounds great, I’m sure I can help that ass feel better 😘 see you soon!! 💛💛

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some notes from your friendly neighbourhood translator!
> 
> “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?” - do you want to sleep with me tonight?
> 
> “Mais si je dis oui, es-tu vraiment libre ce soir?” - but if I say yes, are you really free this evening?


	4. The morning after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With soft hands against her stomach and the warmth of gentle breathing on the neck of her neck, Lemon hadn’t woken up in such a serene way for a while...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonjour hi! Thank you everyone for all the lovely feedback and comments! Trigger warning for panic attacks and anxiety in this chapter, so be careful if you're feeling vulnerable to that sort of stuff: if you are, remember I love you and I am sending you a huge virtual hug! You're never alone <3

With soft hands against her stomach and the warmth of gentle breathing on the neck of her neck, Lemon hadn’t woken up in such a serene way for a while. She wiggled deeper into the other woman’s embrace, tangling their legs as they spooned. The past few days had been completely out of the ordinary for the young dancer, meeting two, very different women and having an amazing time with both. She had lost count of the number of orgasms she had had, yet it was this silent, calm cuddle which left her feeling most content, inadvertently reminding Lemon of what she missed most from her last relationship.

Things with Rita had started out similarly to her date with Kyne, although this time it felt like Lemon was the one doing all the talking. But rather than looking disinterested, Rita leaned in, focussing on every word, asking short questions to keep her talking. She later realised, however – after two amaretto sours and a shot of tequila – that Rita wasn’t quiet or introverted at all; she was, for some reason, genuinely interested in Lemon’s life. They spent a good three hours at the bar, discussing which animals would be best at which sport, debating which was the best Céline Dion song of all time, and making up life stories for the other patrons. Her thick accent was just the tip of the very sexy iceberg that was Rita, her curves stealing the show in black skinny jeans and a red blouse, her bleached blond hair swept back in a half-up do. After a quick detour to a hot dog stand across the road, the pair made it back to Rita’s modern and spacious apartment, which Lemon noticed was in a very fancy part of town she seldom visited. They wasted no time in doing what they had planned to do all along, which led to the peaceful morning where they now found themselves. As the sunlight crept in through a gap in the curtains, Lemon could feel the body behind her start to stretch out.

“Good morning”, she mumbled sleepily, turning around to face her companion. She came face to face with a line of small bruises along the Québécoise’s collarbone, which she tenderly kissed as she blissfully remembered how they got there. “Did you sleep well?”

“That was the best sleep I have had in a long time” smiled Rita, wrapping her arms back around Lemon’s waist and lightly kissing her on the forehead. “I don’t normally have such a big workout before bed, it obviously helped! How about you?”

“Your bed is so comfy, I slept like a baby” mewed Lemon contentedly, snuggling back into Rita’s embrace.

Gently tracing a finger up and down the blonde’s naked back, she hummed her reply. “It’s funny when people say that, because babies do not sleep.”

“Huh, I mean what are you, a doctor or something?”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“I’m a doctor.”

Lemon pulled her head back abruptly to look the now puzzled woman in the eyes, her face contorted in shock. “What?! Since when?!”

“Since I graduated med school, I think.”

“Why didn’t you tell me last night?”

“I did!”

“You said you worked in a hospital, those don’t mean the same thing!” Lemon didn’t quite understand why this revelation had caused such a reaction in her, but her mind was going into overdrive. _Rita’s an adult. She’s an actual fully-grown, fully-functioning adult with a real job, and look at me: I’m completely worthless. I bet she regrets everything, I told her so much dumb shit last night that she could easily use against me. Maybe that’s why she asked so many questions, to find out just how much of a mess I really am. She’ll go into work tomorrow and tell all her grown-up colleagues about the dumb child she hooked up with and they’ll all have a good laugh about the fucking dumb dancer who doesn’t even dance anymore because she’s so shit. I’ve made a huge mistake. I need to get out of here now, I can’t stay here, I’m going to throw up, I’m..._

“Hey, Lemon, sweetie, look at me.”

Rita moved to kneel beside Lemon’s head on the bed, carefully placing a hand on her shoulder. Lemon didn’t even realise how long she’d been silent for or how unsteady her breathing had become, let alone notice the tears which had formed in her eyes or the fearful look which had taken over her face as her inner voice ran out of control. She was frozen. The shorter-haired woman looked worried and she began to gently move Lemon into a more upright position, adjusting the pillows behind her. “Let’s breathe together, Lemmy, okay? Now let’s breathe in, two, three, four, and out, two, three, four...”

The pair continued breathing together, never breaking eye contact for what felt like hours to the younger woman. Rita’s voice was low and soothing, and her touch warmed Lemon right to her core. Eventually, her breathing levelled out and she closed her eyes, not able to stop the sobs which escaped them.

“I’m so sorry.”

“What for? You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“I feel so stupid, I don’t know why that happened, I’m sorry.” She threw her head into Rita’s chest, clinging onto her for dear life. “It’s just... I don’t normally do one night stands but that’s what I wanted last night to be, but you’re being so nice to me and you don’t deserve that. But I know that’s what you wanted too, but you definitely didn’t sign up for me crying in your bed this morning. And you’re an adult with your shit together, and then look at me!”. Rita simply let her ramble through the tears, holding the petite girl in her arms and combing her fingers through her hair. Slowly, she started to shuffle back down the bed, taking Lemon with her, and pulling the duvet back over them. The Québécoise planted tiny kisses on the top of the head of blonde hair still snuggled into her, before bringing her hands up to wipe her wet cheeks with her thumbs.

“Firstly, sweetie, never apologise, please. Brains are really, really, stupid things, they do stupid shit all the time. That’s why I hate brain surgeons, they’re all stupid.” Lemon giggled as she closed her eyes and rested her head once again upon Rita’s chest. “Secondly, I’m really not that old, and my shit is nowhere near together. I’m on Tinder too, remember!” She continued stroking Lemon’s long hair, massaging her scalp so lightly that she thought she could fall asleep at any point. “And one night stands are allowed, you’re not a bad person if you have one, right? But remember you don’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to, okay? If you’d said, we could have just watched a movie or gone home after the bar, I’m so sorry if I made you do something you didn’t want to.”

Hearing the other woman’s voice break was Lemon’s cue to turn around and grab Rita’s hand tightly, noticing that now she too had tears falling from her chestnut eyes. “Hey, hey, crying is my thing, okay, so stop that!” she smiled, managing to prise a brief chuckle from Rita. “You didn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to! In case you didn’t notice, I had a fucking good time! I hope you don’t regret it now?”

Rita laughed again, messily wiping her tears with the back of her hand. “It was tolerable”, yelping as she earned herself a playful kick on the shin. As she extended her arm around Lemon’s shoulders, she wiggled around to find the comfiest position, snuggled into Rita’s side like a koala, head resting between her breasts. “May I ask an honest question, Lemmy?”

“Of course, shoot.”

“Why are you on Tinder?”

Lemon tapped her fingers against Rita’s soft stomach. How much information was she supposed to give? After all that had already happened this morning, she decided that she really trusted the platinum blonde beside her.  
“I was with my girlfriend for three years, we lived together, I thought we’d be together forever...” Once again feeling the all-too familiar sting in the corners of her eyes, she stopped and looked at Rita, expecting some form of encouragement to carry on, but of course, the other woman was far far too patient and understanding.

“Don’t worry, sweetie”, she hushed as she stroked Lemon’s shoulder, pulling her in again for a hug. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to say any more.”

“What about you? If you don’t mind sharing,” whispered Lemon from her safety net of Rita’s arms.

The tall woman sighed. “It’s stupid, really. My friends made me download it.” She glanced at Lemon, who nodded for her to continue. “I fell for a colleague, we just got on really well, you know? And not just because she speaks some French or we are the only two queer people in the ward. But they say you shouldn’t sleep where you eat, so they tried to help me find someone else.”

“It’s shit where you eat, but I knew what you meant” smiled Lemon, laughing and recoiling as she felt Rita’s hand make contact with her bare ass. “Sorry! Sorry! So has it worked?”

Silence filled the bright bedroom, broken only by the sound of Rita inhaling through her teeth. “Well, I have met some people, including some very nice people, and there have been some fun times.” Her smile was small, her lips hidden inside her mouth, so Lemon noticed that that definitely wasn’t the end of the answer.

“But…?”

“But…” sighed Rita defeatedly, running her hand along Lemon’s arm, “I still have to see her every day. And talk to her, and work with her, and eat lunch with her, so it is not so easy to forget her.”

They lay together in the same position for a while, neither knowing what to say next. Rita continued to gently stroke Lemon’s arm, and Lemon traced light shapes across Rita’s chest as she listened to the subtle thud of her heart. The writing was already on the wall for any future relationship between them, but Lemon couldn’t face any more serious talk. Besides, they were both still naked in bed together. 

“So if you think brain surgeons are so stupid, Dr Rita, can I ask what your area of expertise is?”

“Nephrology,” smirked Rita, taking in the confused expression in front of her. “Kidney stuff. I love the kidneys!”

“You weirdo!” laughed Lemon, feeling yet another jovial slap upon her right ass-cheek. “Why would anyone want to do that?!”

“Because I love kidneys, I just told you! And I get to play with the big, cool dialysis machines all day!”

The pair smiled warmly at each other, foreheads meeting in the middle of the king-size bed, limbs slotting together as if they’d done so a thousand times already. Lemon placed a wet kiss on the tip Rita’s nose, then her lips, then her chin. “You are insane, your Tinder profile should come with a warning!”

“Would you still choose me if it did?”

“Absolutely.”


	5. Some chatting, some matching, some planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having not slept in her own bed for the last two nights, Lemon decided to take a well-earned evening for herself, partly because she was running out of excuses for her parents as to why she’d been out so much lately, and partly to give the various bruises and bite-marks on her body time to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This chapter is pretty much all filler (as is the next one, sorry!), but our Lemon will be back in the middle of things soon! I love you all very much, thank you again for all your comments and feedback! <3

Having not slept in her own bed for the last two nights, Lemon decided to take a well-earned evening for herself, partly because she was running out of excuses for her parents as to why she’d been out so much lately, and partly to give the various bruises and bite-marks on her body time to heal. With Gus the dog snuggled into her side, she waited for The Sims to load on her laptop as Chromatica blared from her phone. She pressed on its screen to check the time, and saw she had received a new text message.

 **Dr Rita 💙 [16:45]** I hope you survived your walk of shame, mon petit citron! Thank you again for a great night and day :-) x

Rita was amazing. She was the epitome of a dark horse: she was so kind and patient with Lemon during her _panic crisis_ , as she had so adorably put it, and made her feel all the safety and love she needed all morning. Yet not long afterwards, after some lazy chatter which had made Lemon inexplicably horny, she was once again fucking her to within an inch of her life. Speaking two languages was far from the only thing she could do with her mouth. They had even gone for lunch together after round 2 – and round 2.5 in the shower – before reluctantly parting as Rita prepared for her nightshift at the hospital. It was over lunch where they both agreed that pursuing anything serious wouldn’t be worth it, but they would definitely like to work on a friendship. Lemon had, however, still managed to charm her way into borrowing a hoodie from the older woman, both of them secretly pleased that it gave them a reason to hang out again. She quickly sent off a reply, thanking her once again for her help that morning and wishing her luck for the long night ahead with her love interest from the ward.

Looking back to her laptop, the loading bar appeared to have frozen. Rolling her eyes, she held down the device’s power button to restart it. The snoring lump beside her clearly wasn’t going to entertain her as she waited, so she bit the bullet and opened up her new favourite app.

She grinned upon seeing that her most recent message was from Kyne.

 **[16:20]** Remember I told you about my roommate who works in a porn studio lol? She came home just now with a box of those custard tarts you were telling me about, they are so good!!! 🤤 You really do have the best taste 😘

 _That’s a lot to unpack_ , she laughed to herself, _she’s persistent, fair play to her! Plus it turns out she actually WAS listening! I just hope they were clean... I’ll reply later. Now what about Kiara, eh Gus-bus? She was nice, let’s see what she’s said!_

 **[09:12]** How was the party? 🙂 I hope it was tudo bem!!

Lemon and Kiara had continued chatting yesterday until Lemon had to leave for her date, a ‘family party’ being the first reasonable sounding thing that came to mind when having to end their conversation. She hated lying, she really did, but how acceptable was it really to tell one Tinder-match that you were going on a date with another Tinder-match?

 **[17:03]** It went well, merci! But I was too hungover to function all day lol 🤯  
**[17:03]** How has your day been? 😊

_Right, who’s next? Two new matches and a message from Boa! Let’s see what she has to say about me spamming her before she blocks me._ Clicking on the girl’s message from last night, however, Lemon was pleasantly surprised that her texting blunder wasn’t the end of her chances.

 **[20:55]** Lololololololololol no YOU’RE fun!!!!  
**[20:55]** Clock the good grammar  
**[20:55]** So what’s a girl like you doing on an app like this?  
**[20:56]** 🍆🍆🍆

Now that was a question Lemon still occasionally asked herself, and she didn’t even know if she had an answer. So the best she could do was be honest.

 **[17:07]** Well I’m recently single so I’m just seeing what happens, really, a few dates here and there to get me back on my feet again! To quote the great Kelly Rowland, I am down for whatever 😉  
**[17:07]** How about you?

She had, once again, been well and truly sucked into the Tinder vortex. Closing her laptop and placing it on her bedside table, she nuzzled her face into Gus’s head, the dog making no effort at all to reciprocate the sudden attention. Squishing a kiss to his head, she turned back to the app, and her new matches: Scarlett and Ilona. They had both matched at around the same time, making their chat windows sit neatly at the bottom of Lemon’s screen. Sending them both standard “ _Hey gorge! What’s up?_ 😊” messages, she went back to swiping through profiles, although within less than a minute, a reply from Scarlett flashed at the top of her screen. 

**[17:13]** Hey gorge! I’m doing much better now that I’m speaking to you 😉  
**[17:14]** What’s up with you?

 _A bit of enthusiasm goes a long way_ , she smiled, _maybe Scarlett is the one? Or maybe she’s too into me and I should be worried? Surely not!_

 **[17:15]** I’m glad I can help! I’m pretty good thanks, having a lazy night in tonight! Are you doing anything fun?

Lemon debated giving the girl more details of her night in, but she was worried about what she might think… _She’s covered in tattoos and eats fire, for god’s sake, there is no way she likes Lady Gaga or The Sims. She probably listens to death metal and drives a motorbike and has a pet snake, I could never compete!_ Fortunately, Scarlett was charming and very easy to talk to, and the two exchanged details - both mundane and exciting - through quickly typed messages. She learned that the other blonde was a lawyer, but had gone to circus school at weekends throughout university - which explained a lot - and was currently in an open relationship with her girlfriend. Lemon had never been ‘the other woman’ before, but as long as she wasn’t hurting anyone, surely it’s not that bad! Eventually, though, one message made Lemon’s anxiety start to creep in again.

**[17:57]** So I know this probably seems WAY too fast, so don’t worry if you don’t want to

Time seemed to stand still between this message and the next one. _What does she want to do that’s fast? Sex? That’s not that big a deal, it must be more than that. Unless she’s into super kinky shit, which wouldn’t surprise me, does she want to piss on me? Does she want her girlfriend to piss on me? Does she want me to be her fake girlfriend at her sister’s wedding where we have to share a bed before eventually realising we loved each other all along?_ Finally, right on cue, the follow-up arrived.

 **[17:59]** It’s my birthday on Saturday and I’m having a party at my house before heading out on the town, it’ll hopefully just be a few friends, and it would be cool if you could make it 🥳  
**[18:00]** You can bring a friend if you want! But again no pressure!!

Wow, that wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought. She started blankly at her phone, letting her heart rate settle back down to its normal speed. A party, cool. I can do that!

 **[18:02]** You had me worried for a second there! But that sounds fun, I’ll be there! 😀

Exiting the app, she hastily composed a message to Jan. Jan loved parties, she had such a natural charisma which she exuded effortlessly whenever she entered a room. She was able to chat to anyone about anything, and Lemon was always responsible for getting her out of tricky situations on nights out where her natural friendliness had been mistaken for something else. She would be the perfect person to deflect any potential awkwardness that may occur at a Tinder-date-she’d-never-met-before’s birthday party. As she awaited Jan’s reply ( _Please please please say yes, Jan, you’re my only hope!_ ), she checked on the app again, swiping through countless samey-looking profiles. Until she reached one that she’d definitely seen before.

**Priyanka, 29  
Within 10 miles**

_I already swiped for this girl, look! There’s her in her lengha, there she’s at pride… Oh she has new pictures now, how weird!_ Priyanka did indeed have an additional two photos on her profile which Lemon hadn’t seen before: a professional-looking black and white image of her face and torso, showing her dark waves flowing down her shoulders, and her eyes directly piercing Lemon’s soul; and finally, a picture of the dark-skinned girl wearing a blonde wig, cowboy hat, and appearing to be screaming into a microphone… _I do like a Hannah Montana fantasy, get it girl!_ Just like before, Lemon swiped Priyanka’s profile to the right, but unlike last time, the notification she’d been hoping for appeared straight away.

**Congratulations! You have matched with Priyanka!**

Buoyed by the excitement of matching with somebody so quickly - and someone so gorgeous - Lemon jumped straight off the bed and started dancing, _‘Rain on Me’_ blaring beside her for the third time that evening. Even Gus seemed to pick up on the change of energy, running up and down the bed, wagging his tail merrily. As the pair danced, the familiar ‘ding’ of a new notification sounded through the room. And again.

Briefly pausing to pick up her phone, she saw the two messages she had received. Firstly, from Kiara.

 **[18:12]** Unnggghhh work today was the worst, but I found a really cute Portuguese café on my walk home! I have eaten so many natas lol. We could go sometime if you want to? 🙂

Before replying ( _yes, obviously… I didn’t download Duolingo yesterday for nothing!_ ), she went to check on the second message, which was from her recent match, Ilona.

 **[18:12]** See you on Saturday bitch! xox

_Well that seems ominous._


	6. A day of rest and new starts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lemon has a new match, and a new opportunity to get back to her previous life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another filler chapter? Right in front of my salad? 
> 
> Hello kittens, I promise some more actual face-to-face action is coming soon! But for now, some more chitchat and planning and hopefully nice things happening! Also I found out that Lemon's mum irl is Scottish, so she naturally had to be included (with conversation based 100% on things my own mum has said)!
> 
> I've written the next couple of chapters already, but I am ALWAYS open to ideas, suggestions, and requests! Especially whether I should attempt to write smut or not! 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for all the love and kind comments <3 <3

**[07:24]** HEY GIRL!  
**[07:24]** I’m so sorry but I ate your sister for breakfast  
**[07:24]** She was a grapefruit lololololol  
**[07:24]** I’m sorry please don’t hate me  
**[07:24]** But she was delicious  
**[07:25]** So what’s the tea on Little Miss Lemon? I want to know everything! What’s your favourite type of pasta?

Lemon read the messages again as she sat at the kitchen island, sipping her coffee. She couldn’t help but smile. That was not what she was expecting at all from Priyanka, she looked so poised and regal in all her photos, yet in reality she was coming across as a complete goofball. Although it had been three hours now, and she was still awaiting a reply.

 **[09:58]** Umm how fucking dare you?  
**[09:58]** Don’t even expect me to respond to that until I get a full apology, you murderer.

_Was the joke not obvious? Fuck, what if she thinks I’m serious? But then she started it…_

__

“What’s got you smiling, princess?”

She jumped with shock as her mum walked through the door, placing her handbag on the counter and opening the fridge door. She knew her mum only worked a half-day on Thursdays, but her sudden appearance was a surprise nonetheless. Lemon felt like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t be.

“Oh, nothing,” she sang, quickly locking her phone and putting it back in her pocket, away from prying eyes, “how was work?”

“Well you’re not acting like it was nothing,” teased her mum, moving around the kitchen in a blur as she prepared her lunch. “Is it a girl?”

Lemon failed to hide the blush rising on her face, she knew her mum meant no harm, but she was not prepared to get into a conversation about dating and hookups with her so early in the day, and with so little alcohol to hand. “Muuuuuuuuum” she groaned, hoping that the coolness of her hands would remove the redness as she placed her chin in her palms.

“I’m just glad you’re happy, darling, you deserve it after the summer you’ve had!” Lemon couldn’t deny that her mum had been an absolute angel these last few months. She listened to Lemon way back when she had first admitted that things weren’t working like they should be, and never once offered any judgement or tried to convince her to stay. She had even helped Lemon move her things out of her old apartment as quickly as was humanly possible for the pair of them, while _she_ was at work. “I hope you're up to date with your tetanus shots, though, if she’s doing _that_ to you!”

Just when Lemon felt she couldn’t get any redder, her mum’s finger was poking the mottled bruise peeking out from under the loose collar of her t-shirt, her whole body burning as her mind flashed back to the moment it had been placed there… the body above her trembling, grabbing a handful of platinum hair as they ground against each others' thighs, the muffled cries in French… “Oh my god, mum, please stop!”

“What?! You can’t just disappear for two nights in a row and not expect me to be curious! What’s her name?”

She audibly groaned at her mother’s prying tone, laying her head on the cold marble countertop. “Mum, I love you, but I am not having this conversation with you right now!” _Fucking Rita, I’m sure she’ll find this funny at least _, Lemon made a mental note to text the other woman later, wondering if she’s had any similar happenings with her work colleagues, or if she had enough experience - and common sense - to hide the evidence of her Tinder trysts better. At least she had put on leggings after waking up today, as shorts would have only showcased an even more incriminating patchwork of colourful marks across her inner thighs.__

__Her mum simply smiled and wrapped an arm around her from behind the high kitchen chair, planting an affectionate kiss on her daughter’s temple. “Well, you know what I always say, pumpkin, as long as you’re happy and safe, go out there and have fun! Are dental dams still a thing? Do you need some?”_ _

__Lemon could only muster a grunt in response, her head making an audible bang as she threw it onto the counter, deeply wishing that the conversation was over. Right on cue, she felt the phone in her pocket buzz with a new notification. She practically leapt off her seat, ready to run to the safety of her bedroom. “Well, on that note, I’m going to remove myself from this deeply uncomfortable situation. Thank you, mother!”_ _

__“Ooh is that her texting you? When are you seeing her next?” The enthusiastic questions fell - as her mum expected - on deaf ears, Lemon gulping down the remainder of her cold coffee and placing the empty mug in the sink._ _

__

__When she finally reached her safe haven, she pushed the door closed and jumped back on the bed. Despite knowing her parents wouldn’t mind at all, she still wasn’t ready to admit she was trying to move on, let alone with an assortment of random ladies from the Greater Toronto Area. She grabbed at her phone excitedly, her eyes lighting up when she saw that Priyanka had finally answered._ _

__**[13:35]** My dearest Lemon, I must beg for your forgiveness, for I have sinned gravely. Upon awakening from my slumber and entering my cooking chamber, my stomach began to sing a dreadful tune. In the search for something to quell its anger, I encountered a grapefruit, as cute as your face and as juicy as your ass probably is. With no other option, I slaughtered it, dressed it with some sugar, and devoured its flesh. Would you please accept my most sincere apology in the form of a drink sometime?_ _

_This crazy bitch_. No other interaction on the app had left Lemon feeling so giddy, her heart had sped up and her stomach was doing somersaults. _Yes yes yes yes oh my god of course!_ Luckily her common sense kicked in, and she realised she should probably act a bit less… desperate. 

**[13:40]** Let me think about it  
**[13:41]** Loljk of course!  
**[13:41]** Any day/time work best for you? I’m afraid I’m fully booked this weekend  
**[13:41]** Mourning my sister and all  
**[13:41]** (I mean the grapefruit btw sorry that could have been weird) 

__Luckily, she didn’t have to wait long for a response._ _

__**[13:42]** LOL I’m glad it didn’t turn dark  
**[13:42]** Any night that’s not a school day is best for me!  
**[13:43]** Speaking of which I better get back and entertain some little people, ttyl xo  
**[13:43]** KIDS, btw, just in case xx_ _

Lemon shook her head as she smiled, Priyanka was certainly something else. _Cute, funny, sexy… hopefully she didn’t ruin it by having bad breath or murderous tendencies_. She couldn’t explain it, she already felt something special about the girl, something she hadn’t felt since- no. Let’s not ruin a good thing by thinking about _her_. But the more she looked at Priyanka’s profile, the more memories of Juice kept flooding her mind. Taking a moment, she sat on the floor, stretching her legs out in front of her and breathing deeply and rhythmically, a makeshift meditation to nip any panic in the bud. 

_Is it still too soon? Maybe I’m not ready to be moving on if I still think about her so much, and if I still get so emotional doing so._ Images of the former couple danced around her head; walking hand in hand, snuggling on the couch under blankets, even just helping each other cook, or drinking coffee in bed on a rainy morning. _I thought it was what I wanted, but maybe I was wrong._ She sat silently for a few minutes, trying her best to think of nothing but a dark sky filled with distant, twinkling stars, but even that took her mind back to the nights they’d spend wandering around their neighbourhood, talking about their hopes and dreams, where they’d live once they got married, how many cats and dogs it was acceptable to have. It seemed like the natural course for them, but not everything can work out the way people want it to. 

She didn’t know whether it was the buzz of her phone on the bed behind her, or Gus’s gentle panting as he pushed through the door which awoke her from her semi-trance, but she took the opportunity to stand up and shake the stiffness out of her body. It was a natural impulse to bring her hands to her eyes to wipe away her tears, but she was pleasantly surprised to not find any there today. Maybe things were getting better after all. 

__She and Gus both slid onto her bed, the dog circling three times before plopping himself down in the crook of Lemon’s elbow, which she rewarded with a firm scratch under his chin. Picking up her phone, it buzzed again in her hand with messages from Rita._ _

__**Dr Rita 💙 [14:02]** shared a link  
**Dr Rita 💙 [14:05]** Bonjour! How are you today, mon citron? I had a nap after work and I am now ready for the gym :-O Last night a colleague told me about this dance school where his daughters go, a teacher is pregnant and will need someone to cover the classes when she is off. I thought of you :-) I hope you slept better than a baby! X  
**Dr Rita 💙 [14:06]** Also I found a bruise on my ass yesterday, I was in pain every time I was sitting down, thank you very much…_ _

__Lemon had always believed in fate to some degree, and upon seeing the link Rita had sent, she had no doubt that destiny had been on her side during the events of the last few days. She stared at the familiar tan bricks of her old dance school, the smiling face of her old principal teacher finally giving her the push she needed to get back in the saddle. She threw on a pair of jeans and a woollen cardigan, replying to Rita with one hand as she pulled on her ankle boots with the other._ _

__**[14:10]** Merci merci, I’ll check it out!! Have fun at the gym, you crazy pomme! How was sexy kidney lady?  
**[14:11]** And de rien 😘 my mum saw the one on my neck today, she thinks I’m being bullied 😞_ _

__Jumping down the stairs two at a time and shouting a quick goodbye to her mum - closing the door before she could hear the inevitable embarrassing reply - she walked as quickly as her legs could possibly take her to the dance school, a path she had already walked hundreds of times throughout her childhood. Even if they said no, she would sign up to classes or find some auditions, how could this not be a sign from the universe to start dancing again? As she reached the heavy iron door, she checked her phone one last time._ _

__**Dr Rita 💙 [14:14]** Courage, ma belle! They would be idiots to not want you! Well, she made me my favourite tea and told me she liked my lipstick, so I think we are married now?  
**Dr Rita 💙 [14:16]** And I am so sorry! :-( Do you have arnica cream? I hope your mother knows it was at your request? ;-)_ _

__She had really lucked out with Rita, she needed a good friend like her in her corner right now. And as she stepped inside, navigating the bright corridors to the principal’s office, she was really glad she’d downloaded Tinder._ _


	7. The party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saturday rolled around quicker than Lemon had expected, and she had a dilemma: Jan had a fancy dinner with her boyfriend’s parents; Jackie was still studying in New York; and Brooke Lynn was performing in Giselle every night for the next ten days. But she was so keen to go to Scarlett’s party - and not be stood alone like an awkward, well, lemon - that she had done something that was probably very, very silly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I quite enjoyed writing the chapter - but please remember to drink sensibly and maintain good social distancing! I've re-watched the entire season a few times, which helped form some of the background ships! I hope you all enjoy! <3 <3

Saturday rolled around quicker than Lemon had expected, and she had a dilemma: Jan had a fancy dinner with her boyfriend’s parents; Jackie was still studying in New York; and Brooke Lynn was performing in Giselle every night for the next ten days. But she was so keen to go to Scarlett’s party - and not be stood alone like an awkward, well, lemon - that she had done something that was probably very, very silly. 

“So let me get this straight, you want me, a girl you hooked up with once on Tinder, to come with you to a party you were invited to by another girl from Tinder, and help you get laid?”

When she put it like that, it did actually seem very weird. “Well, not necessarily the last part, but yeah, it’s just a party, right? It’ll be fun!”

Kyne sipped her fruity cocktail, brow furrowed, not letting Lemon see any of her current thought process. The blonde’s eyes darted around the bar, smoothing her yellow skater dress along her thighs, as she thought of Plan E should the brunette say no. _But on the plus side_ , she contemplated, trying to convince herself that her plan wasn’t completely doomed to failure, _she did agree to come and meet me at short notice. And we’ve been chatting pretty regularly, so we can totally be friends, right?_ Her inner monologue was cut short when Kyne finally spoke up. 

“And there’ll be booze and lesbians, you say?”

“Yes, Kyne, I can guarantee you will be surrounded by booze and lesbians.”

The click of her high heels echoed through the bar as she jumped off her stool, grabbing her coat. “Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go!”

***

Walking arm in arm as they navigated an unknown neighbourhood, the pair were able to laugh and chat like regular friends. Clearly having learned from her previous missteps, Kyne even appeared to be taking an interest in Lemon, asking about her life - she was even excited to find out about Lemon’s new job.

“Okay, okay, one thing I have actually been dying to know… is Lemon REALLY your name?? Like do your parents love fruit or something?”

Lemon turned and deadpanned her answer. “Yeah, I have a brother called Lime.”

She could see the cogs turning inside Kyne’s brain as her mouth rounded in a confused “oh”, but she could only keep her serious façade in place for a few seconds before she snorted into an easy grin.

“You bitch! You really had me thinking you were part of some fruit cult! So what’s your real name then?”

“Do you promise not to laugh?” pouted Lemon, shifting her eyes to the girl beside her.

“I promise nothing, but I’ll try my best.”

“Luisa.”

“That’s really pretty! Why would I laugh at that? But even bigger question now, where the fuck did Lemon come from?!” Kyne all but screamed as they turned the corner onto Scarlett’s street, the pair looking at every door to find the correct apartment block. Their plastic bag of recently-purchased alcohol and snacks (and a red velvet cupcake for Scarlett, it was her birthday, after all) swayed between them as they zig-zagged down the pavement, trying not to trip over the uneven surface in their heels. Lemon was so focussed on finding number 143 that she almost forgot to answer, until she felt Kyne’s elbow on her bicep.

“Oh, I don’t even know, I guess I loved yellow as a kid? Plus I’ve always been sour as hell.”

Looking up, they caught a glimpse of a girl with light-blue hair hanging out of a window, smoking, who noticed Lemon and Kyne approach the front door immediately. She tilted her head to the side and shouted loudly, seemingly at nobody. “Sissy! Whores at the door for you!”

Looking between each other, both panicking that they’d made a huge mistake, the girls stood on the front step, trying to ignore the glare of the girl above them.

“I’m scared, she’s mean,” mouthed Kyne, causing Lemon to reach out and hold the younger girl’s hand, also as an attempt to calm her own racing pulse. Before they could do anything else, the intercom crackled and buzzed, the door shifting slightly as it unlocked. Biting her lip, Lemon led the brunette inside, never letting go of her hand. The smell of weed radiated around the stairwell, the dull thud of a dancey bassline penetrating the concrete walls. Slowly, they climbed the stairs up to the third floor.

“Do you smoke?” Lemon asked, dying to break the silence and put the younger girl - but mainly herself - at ease.

“Sometimes”, she hesitated, tucking a strand of her wavy chestnut-coloured hair behind her ear. “You?”

“Sometimes.”

They eventually reached the source of the music, where a girl Lemon recognised as Scarlett stood at the open door, already clearly hammered.

“Oh my god, you must be Lemon!!!” she screamed, immediately engulfing her into a tight hug. She was a good couple of inches shorter than Lemon, but she was very, very strong. Scarlett smelled of a combination of weed and flowery perfume, and Lemon couldn’t help but notice how her tattooed biceps flexed as she gripped her. “You are even more beautiful in person, oh fuck, sorry, thank you so much for coming!” Finally letting go, she placed her hands on Kyne’s shoulders, staring deeply into her eyes like she was reading a sign. “Is this your friend? She’s gorgeous too, it’s not fucking fair!”

As if a switch had been flipped, Kyne was suddenly oozing fearless confidence, her demeanor reminiscent of the first time Lemon had met her. “Hi, yes, I’m Kyne, and I fucked her first.”

Lemon’s jaw hit the floor as Kyne smirked, before being enveloped in Scarlett’s arms. The birthday girl laughed like it was the funniest thing she had ever heard, her hands wrapped tightly around the Filipina’s waist. “Oh my god! You are so funny, I love you! Welcome, welcome!” Taking a step to the side, Lemon produced the cupcake in its paper container from their shopping bag. 

“Happy Birthday, girl!”

Scarlett’s eyes suddenly became glassy, and she put an arm around each of the other girls as her bottom lip trembled. “Ladies… this is the nicest thing anyone has done for me today, you are both angels!” Lemon tried to hold the small cake aloft to avoid squashing it any more, meanwhile Kyne appeared to be biting her lip in a vain attempt to not laugh. Scarlett, however, showed no signs of stopping her emotional tirade. “My own girlfriend didn’t get me a cake! I mean she baked some edibles for tonight, but it’s just not the same, y’know? This really _means_ something, so thank you so much.”

A cough at the door interrupted the moment, and from the corner of her eye, Lemon saw the blue-haired girl from the window earlier, quickly realising that she recognised her from her heart tattoo under her eye. Ilona.

“Sorry to interrupt, babies, but we should take this inside. Scar, our neighbours don’t need to hear this again.” She spoke curtly, and despite the smile plastered on her face, it was obvious to everyone how she was really feeling. She was mad.

As Lemon and Kyne detangled themselves, edging towards the entrance, Scarlett spoke up again, sounding much less merry than before.  
“Oh I’m sorry, _sissy_! Fuck my feelings, eh? Come on, ladies, let’s go party!” And with that, the remaining three girls could only watch the short blonde hair of the birthday girl bounce through the front door, leaving them in an awkward stalemate. Luckily, Kyne spoke up first, addressing the burning question that Lemon wasn’t brave enough to mention.

“So are you two, like, a thing?”

Ilona’s face had completely changed, her vulnerability now evident through her knitted eyebrows. She sighed heavily, ushering the others inside. “Yep, one wonderful year of this,” she muttered as she gesticulated wildly into the air, closing the door behind her and all but stomping down the dimly lit hallway. “Leave your shoes and jackets here, smoke out the window, and don’t have sex on my bed.” 

This was definitely a bonding moment for Lemon and Kyne, the two giggling quietly at each other as they slid off their shoes, leaving them in the messy pile which had been erected by the door. Lemon felt Kyne’s warm hand brush against hers, so she took the hint and interlaced their fingers again. They smirked at each other, knowing that tonight would be interesting, no matter what happened. As they heard Scarlett’s strained voice shouting at her girlfriend from the room at the end of the hall, they padded along the wooden flooring, ready to see where the night took them.

***

“Hey! Kyne! Watch this!”

With slightly dilated brown eyes and a vacant smile focussing on her, Lemon slid her legs along the carpet, straight into the splits. She posed, grinning, with a ‘ _ta-da_!’

“Wooooo! Go Lemon!! She’s a dance teacher, people!” screeched Kyne over the music, running over to Lemon with a bottle of Fireball. Both girls took a generous swig, laughing as the brunette took the blonde by the hands and attempted to drag her across the floor, legs still splayed. The party, so far, had indeed been _interesting_. Scarlett had disappeared shortly after they had arrived, so Ilona had joined them on the couch with a bottle of expensive-looking vodka and a plate of pot brownies. Lemon and Kyne had half-heartedly listened as she cried about nothing they knew anything about; then Kyne had cried about how she had started to develop feelings for her roommate, but how she was too scared to ever say anything; which left Lemon sat in the middle with her arms around them both, stroking their hair, waiting for their temporary downer to end. As quickly as it had started, they had both perked up again, and pulled Lemon onto the makeshift dancefloor, the alcohol in her system making her brave enough to pull out all her tricks. The blonde couldn’t help but notice that the unlikely pair were getting on rather well, Ilona’s hand never far away from any exposed part of Kyne. As she stood upright again, shaking off the strain in her groin muscles, she stood and hazily watched as both girls slid into the hallway, taking the bottle of orange alcohol with them. As Lemon pondered her next move, a voice from above knocked her out of her daze, with strong arms guiding her toward the kitchen. For the second time that night, Lemon couldn’t help but feel she recognised the dark-skinned woman. She wore her hair in two long boxer braids which swung down her back, her plum lips turned up in a smile.

“Come play with me, we’re doing gin pong!”

Lemon let the woman’s velvet voice encompass her, when her brain finally connected the dots.

“Tynomi?!”

The woman in the denim playsuit looked startled as she looked Lemon up and down, before having her own moment of realisation. “Ah, lesbian Tinder? Nice to meet you…?”

“Lemon! I’m Lemon!”

“Lemon, it’s a pleasure! I’m afraid I haven’t found you yet, otherwise I’d know you better by now.” She winked as she sashayed through the beaded curtain which separated the kitchen from the living room, Lemon following her like a puppy would its mother. She readily took the plastic cup Tynomi offered her, filling it with a potent-looking mixture of rum and ginger beer. “I don’t spend as much time in Toronto as I’d like, sadly, which means so many lovely ladies fly under my radar.”

Trying to hide her wince as she sipped the strong drink, she leaned towards Tynomi, who was busy preparing a drink for herself with at least six different types of alcohol in it. “That’s a shame, do you live out of town?”

“No, no, I live two blocks away actually! But I’m a flight attendant, so it’s hard to keep something serious going, you know?” She raised her glass to toast with Lemon, both women holding eye contact as they sipped. Before Lemon had the chance to ask any of the hundreds of questions running through her mind, Tynomi had already turned to the long table with cups set up at both ends, grabbing hold of a ping-pong ball. “Anyway, shall I start?”

  
***

Lemon had lost all concept of time and space by the time Scarlett reappeared, her pixie cut looking ruffled as if she’d just rolled out of bed - which, to be fair, she probably had - jumping around the kitchen excitedly, attempting to drum up support for going to a club. Looking around the packed room, there was no sign anywhere of Kyne or Ilona, and after three attempts she managed to unlock her phone to see if the younger girl had messaged. Thankfully, she had.

[22:04] Leeeeeedmon im ginna sleeo here tonight with alina hopw u get bsck ssfe txtx me luv u bye xxzzxxxxxxzx

Despite not fully understanding what she was attempting to read, she decided that Kyne was fine. Why not go out with Scarlett? She found the blonde back in the kitchen, chatting to Tynomi, when she wrapped her arms around them both. “Let’s go out out! You’re both, like, so cool, I wanna dance!” And in a blur, Lemon found herself being whisked into the back seat a taxi between the other two girls, singing along to Alanis Morisette at the top of her lungs.

How the bouncers at the front door decided they were fit enough to be let in, Lemon will never know. But here she was, jostling through the crowds, ready to order some more drinks with money she didn’t necessarily have, but she didn’t care right now. Tynomi and Scarlett had decided to stay outside for a cigarette break, but she had assured them that she was absolutely fine. Completely fine. She heard a sudden thud, and as she bent down to search for her dropped phone on the dark floor, a familiar voice stopped her in her tracks.

“Lemon?”

“OH MY GOD! RITA!!!!!!!” Grabbing the slippery device and clumsily skipping towards the area where Rita was standing with another woman - whose giant boobs were the only things Lemon could actually focus on - she threw herself head first into the Québécoise, not noticing the death stare she was receiving from the ashy blonde beside her.

“Who are you here with, mon chou? Are you okay?”

“We were at a party! I’m not sure where they’ve all gone, but oh my god, I can’t believe you’re here! I’m so drunk! Let’s go dance!”

Rita and her companion exchanged a worried glance, and both helped Lemon balance as she wobbled between them. “Lemon, this is my friend from work, Jimbo. Jimbo, this is my friend, Lemon.”

Despite the alcohol coursing through her system, Lemon still picked up on the way Rita’s mouth ever so slightly twisted into a smile as she looked over at her friend, or the way she maintained wide eye contact with her afterwards, wordlessly begging the drunk girl not to embarrass her or do anything stupid. She put everything together and realised that this was the woman Rita liked. But as she twisted in her seat to shake the other doctor’s hand, she was once again interrupted by a voice from behind her.

“Rita? Is that you?”

Tynomi approached the group, somehow still walking like a runway model, with her arms open wide. Rita immediately found herself enveloped in Tynomi’s embrace, the dark-skinned woman planting kisses on both of her cheeks. She held tightly onto Rita’s upper arms, looking each other deeply in the eye, leaving Lemon and Jimbo to feel like they were spying on an intimate moment. “Rita, you look amazing! How are you doing?”

“Oh, you know, the same really! How are you? It’s great to see you again!”

The tension hung thickly in the air as Rita and Tynomi chatted, not even Scarlett’s alcohol-fuelled attempts at speaking French could dissipate it. And as Lemon squinted her eyes to the tall girl beside her, a stiff arm around her waist still holding her upright, she noticed the angry scowl now painted on her face while she watched the others. Lemon may be completely and utterly wasted, but she knew that look well - she wasn’t lying when she said she was always bitter - and felt obliged to do something. After all, Rita had just helped her get a job.  
“Jimbo, wanna come smoke outside with me?”

The blonde glared at her for a second, before letting go and walking straight towards the door, leaving Lemon to trot after her. She found her again standing against the front wall of the building, arms folded, lips still pouted like a child who didn’t get their way. 

“You like her, don’t you?”

Jimbo slid her back down the wall until she was crouching, allowing Lemon to sit beside her, no doubt getting her yellow dress covered in dirt and who knows what else. Jimbo groaned as she threw her head into her hands. “I can’t help it. It’s Rita, you know, she’s wonderful. But she goes for people like you and those girls inside, not some ugly, big-titted whore like me. I’m such an idiot, bad Jimbo!”

All too familiar with this narrative and in no mood to let the party mood be dampened, Lemon grabbed both of Jimbo’s hands, rubbing them softly with her thumbs, but it wasn’t enough to stop the tears falling from the other woman’s eyes. “Hey, no you’re not! You’re amazing! Rita definitely likes you too!”

But unfortunately, that only made her cry even more. “You don’t even know me! Why are you being nice to me? Who even are you?” Lemon continued holding her hands, shuffling closer so they could share body heat in the cool autumn air. Normally, when she was sober, she was pretty terrible at dealing with emotional people, but now she was feeling like a qualified therapist. How could it possibly go wrong?

“Look,” she began, moving her arm to around Jimbo’s shoulders, the other blonde leaning into the touch as she sobbed into Lemon’s chest. “I don’t know Rita as well as you obviously do, but I do know a lot of deep shit about her, right?” Stroking the long, blonde hair in front of her, she thought of how to best articulate her plan. “By the way, do you speak French?”

“I mean, enough to understand when she talks to herself in the office when she thinks no one else is there? Oh fuck that sounds so creepy, she hates me!” Jimbo was shaking with tears now, leaving black mascara marks on the front of Lemon’s dress. But that was a problem for future Lemon.

“Well, she turned me down a few days ago. Apparently I’m not her type. She said she liked someone else, from work, who speaks French with her, who makes her tea and compliments her lipstick, and makes her laugh every day with her silly impressions. Does that sound like anyone you know?” Lemon stopped touching Jimbo’s hair, allowing the voluptuous woman to look up at her, still crying hysterically. For a moment, Lemon almost panicked that she had horribly misread the situation and was speaking to the wrong person entirely.

“I… make…. her… tea…” she managed to stutter through jumpy breaths. Now it was her turn to grab hold of Lemon, squashing her head into her large breasts, Lemon making a mental note to ask later if they were real or not. “She… she always wears amazing lipstick, and I always tell her so,” she hiccuped, wiping her tears on the top of Lemon’s head. “She always laughs when I do my Joan Rivers…” Sitting up, she looked at Lemon in shock, finally appearing to have stopped crying. “Does Rita like me?! You’re lying!”

Lemon repositioned herself again, sliding her legs out in front of her, back to sitting beside Jimbo on the ground. “I’m dead serious, that’s what she told me!” She couldn’t get another word in before she was once again being dragged into a vice-like hug by the older woman.

“Oh my god, I am so fucking glad that work drinks got so messy tonight! Oh my god, what do I do now? Help me, yellow lady!!” Lemon managed to pry herself away, taking a deep breath to make up for all the breathing she’d missed out on.

“What do you mean, you dummy, just tell her!”

“I can’t just tell her! When has that ever worked?!”

“I told one of my friends once and we ended up dating for three years, so I…” Lemon’s words caught at the back of her throat, why did she have to say that? Of all the stupid things her drunk brain could think of, of course it had to be Juice. There was no point in fighting it, she just had to get her emotions out, even if she was a very ugly crier. “I… I loved her so much, Jimbo, why did it have to end?” Her trembling lower lip soon transformed into a loud sob, leaving Jimbo to hold her tight again and clumsily run her hand along her arm.

“Don’t cry, darling, she sounds like a total fucking bitch. Forget about her!”

“She wasn’t though! Why did I break up with her? Oh god, what have I done?” 

“No no no no no, don’t cry, you’re gonna make me cry again!”

And so the pair stayed sitting on the dirty concrete at the front of the bar, holding each other and crying for what could have been hours, not noticing any effects of the cold air or damp pavement against their bare arms and legs. They didn’t speak another full sentence to each other, communicating only through grunts and high-pitched wails, much to the amusement and confusion of the other customers milling around outside. Eventually, they felt the presence of somebody else squatting in front of them, the liquorice scent of Rita’s perfume and the grounding feeling of a hand on each of their knees bringing them back into the real world.

“Ohhhh là là, I am not nearly drunk enough for this. Let’s go back inside, ladies, Aunty Scarlett has just bought 100 Jägerbombs and we only have an hour to finish them all.”


	8. The hangover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lemon didn’t know if it was the pounding against her skull or the hot, swirling liquid in her stomach which woke her up first, but the two things combined made her wish she could fall back asleep and never wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Всем здравствуйте, дорогие друзья! We are back with another morning after the night before: is Lemon any closer to finding love? Stay tuned! Trigger warning for aggressive hangovers! Thank you again for all the love, you're all gems! <3

Lemon didn’t know if it was the pounding against her skull or the hot, swirling liquid in her stomach which woke her up first, but the two things combined made her wish she could fall back asleep and never wake up. The room she was in was completely illuminated by sunlight, and the spinning walls finally slowed down enough to help her piece together where she was. _I’ve been here before, I know this pale green duvet cover: this is Rita’s. Which means this warm lump beside me is… not Rita. Shit!_ The long blonde hair splayed across the pillow next to her didn’t move as Lemon slowly slid out of the bed, trying - but failing - to keep her head as still as possible to avoid any more dizzy spells. She spotted her yellow dress from last night, folded neatly on top of the dressing table. Looking down at her chest, she realised she was now wearing an oversized purple t-shirt and a pair of yoga leggings which were far too long. _Okay, so that probably means that nothing weird happened, but then where’s Rita?_ Looking back to the woman in the bed, who was still wrapped in her side of the duvet like a cocoon, she tried to remember her name. _It was something really unusual, like a clown’s name. Bobo? Is that definitely the same girl?_ Thinking was not helping the pain in her head at all, so she decided to pad her way out of the bedroom and towards Rita’s living area, the dryness in her mouth now more apparent than ever. Shuffling through the small gap in the doorway, she finally found Rita, who jumped startledly from her sleeping position on the couch as the door squeaked on its hinges. Her short hair was almost sticking completely upright, and her face was shining with traces of glittery eyeshadow from the night before. Lemon would have laughed if she wasn’t so sure that she looked equally as dishevelled.

“Hi,” she managed to croak as the taller woman swung her legs around to allow her to sit up, patting the empty cushion for Lemon to sit. “Why did you sleep through here?”

Rita rubbed her eyes and emitted a groan as she too noticed the leftover glitter. “I didn’t want it to be weird.”

Lemon attempted to think back to what had happened last night, but she had so many black holes in her memory. She had been dancing on a table, she had kissed Tynomi and Scarlett at the same time, she had attempted the lift from Dirty Dancing with Rita’s friend- _shit, Rita’s friend! Rita’s friend who Rita is in love with and who also loves Rita! Rita’s friend who I woke up beside! Does she think something happened with me and her?!_

“Nothing happened between me and your friend!”

She was met with a tiny grin from the Québécoise, who then started giggling louder and louder to herself. Lemon didn’t quite understand why, but Rita’s laugh was contagious, and she was soon joining in. Especially after Rita responded.

“Of course not, you idiot, you kept pushing us together and screaming _“just kiss her!”_ all night!”

Lemon brought her knees to her chest and buried her head between them; now that she’d been reminded, she could, in fact, recall doing that a few times, even in the living room where she was now sitting. “Fuck Rita, I am so sorry, I am mortified!”

Now it was Rita’s turn to redden. “I mean, we still did it...”

“What?!” The volume of Lemon’s yelp made herself wince, but she couldn’t help it. Could her being a drunk idiot have actually helped?

“We kissed every time you told us to, which was quite a lot actually.”

“WHAT?!”

“You were just having too much fun to notice!” Rita was chuckling again as she took her time to stand up and make her way into the open plan kitchen, rummaging through one of the drawers with her back to Lemon so she almost didn’t hear her. “And then we made out for a while after you fell asleep.”

Lemon was now staring at her with her mouth completely agape, “Rita! Oh my god! You’re welcome, I guess?” 

Rita came back towards Lemon and sat down again, handing her a glass of water and a round, white tablet. “Officially it’s for food poisoning, but it is the best cure for a hangover,” she uttered as she downed her own pill. “So… yeah. We’re going to have to talk later, but what is the saying? A drunk person does what a sober one wants to?”

“I don’t think that’s a real saying, you crazy cat!” spluttered Lemon, almost gagging as she swallowed her own tablet. “But I’m so glad things worked out! Drunk Lemon is a genius!”

“Well,” began Rita, her tone decidedly sterner than seconds before, “I confiscated your phone on the way home from the club because you were talking to Jimbo about Juice, and I didn’t trust either of you.”

_Jimbo! That’s her name! I knew it was- wait, what?_ “Juice?! When was that?”

Rita simply sighed, tucking her feet underneath her and turning directly to Lemon. “Do you not remember when we were all in the bathroom?” Lemon shook her head, trying to dive back into her memories but finding nothing. “You made us take about 500 selfies in the mirror, then you wanted to show us a girl from Tinder, but you started crying because you saw you’d matched with your ex.” Her tone was kind and non-judgemental, but Lemon still wanted the ground to swallow her up whole. How could she have been so stupid? As if she could see the start of Lemon’s mental spiral, Rita rested a hand on her thigh and took her hand with the other. “Then you told us what happened in summer, and we all gave you a big hug, and then we were kicked out because the bar closed. I am so sorry, mon citron.” 

“Oh my god, I…” Lemon was in shock, how could she have no recollection of any of this? Blurred images started coming to her, having her head once more squeezed between Jimbo’s giant breasts, Tynomi’s gentle voice telling her she’d done the right thing, staring at her tear-stained face in the mirror as Rita took her hand and led her outside… “I am so, so, sorry, I can’t believe that.”

“Don’t be sorry, sweetheart.” Rita shuffled closer, holding Lemon in a sideways hug. “It happens. Drunk brains are even worse than normal brains. I don’t think you said anything to her, but that’s something to deal with later, anyway.” They stayed like that for a few minutes, the only sound was their gentle, rhythmic breathing as Rita caringly ran her fingers up and down Lemon’s arm. “Can I confess something, Lem?”

“Of course, Rita, anything.”

“I also had a little cry last night, after seeing Tynomi.”

That wasn’t what Lemon was expecting. “Oh no, why? Is there history there?” She tried to sound caring, because she truly wanted to be, but she couldn’t help also being a bit curious. Rita smiled back at her, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Yeah, it’s a small world of GTA lesbians, I guess. We were something like friends with benefits when I first came to Toronto two years ago.” Lemon listened intriguely, nodding Rita along when she looked like she had more to say. “And for once, it wasn’t just me who got feelings. So we tried dating, but we just never saw each other enough: she was always out of the country, and I was working 20-hour shifts every day. We tried to be friends, but drifted apart. C’est la vie, I guess. So it was nice to see she is doing well, but I’ll always feel a little sad that it didn’t work out.”

Lemon squeezed her friend tightly, lightly kissing her cheek and snuggling her own head into the crook of Rita’s neck. “C’est la vie, indeed. I hope you still had a good night, though, despite everyone’s tears?”

Rita hummed contentedly as she swayed Lemon slightly, eliciting a laugh from the other girl. “I finally got to kiss the woman I’ve liked for ages; I danced with my friends for the first night in months; and I got to watch you do cartwheels down the entire street. So yes, I had fun!”

Lemon groaned as Rita cracked up again with laughter, the grazes on her hands finally making sense. As she broke apart from Rita to take a sip of water, a very grumpy looking Jimbo plodded into the room, her hair tied in a messy bun on top of her head, wearing nothing but a t-shirt with a hotdog logo on the front and a very lacy, very revealing red thong.

“Can you two please stop having fun, some of us are trying to die in peace.”


	9. Some chatting, some déjà vu, some movies (or not)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lemon once again looks over her drunken shenanigans from last night, and finds herself on another date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody! New chapter, new Lemon? Probably not, but let's see what happens! Thank you again for all your love and comments, it means the world! :D

Despite still not feeling 100%, Lemon decided to head home sooner than she would have otherwise, to give Rita and Jimbo some time to themselves to talk about things. She had borrowed a shirt and leggings from Rita in order to avoid the embarrassment of wearing her own muddied yellow dress on the bus home, but she ended up hailing a taxi anyway as the rain started falling during her walk. She still hadn’t assessed the damage from last night, and even considered deleting Tinder altogether. She looked through the photos she had taken, most of which were blurry, but they at least helped in piecing together the various parts of the night. Lots of selfies with Tynomi and Scarlett in the kitchen, a close-up of them kissing - with an excessive amount of tongue - and, sure enough, a tonne of selfies of the five women in the bathroom mirror. Rita and Jimbo had their arms around each other and looked sickeningly cute, Scarlett was sitting on a sink and showing off her tongue piercing, and Tynomi was still posing flawlessly in the terrible fluorescent lighting. Lemon, meanwhile, looked like a drunk toddler, if there was such a thing. But finally, after a long, hot shower and two giant glasses of water, she felt brave enough to open the app. First of all, she had a new message from Priyanka, who she had apparently messaged while she had been out.

 **[03:11]** PRI you are so pretty   
**[03:11]** prety   
**[03:11]** idk how u spell it  
**[03:11]** im dunk im so sorry  
**[03:12]** lol  
**[03:12]** im gonna buy you dinner next week kxx

 **[14:00]** Awwww poor lil drunk Lemon! You go girl! 💛 Drink lots of water!   
**[14:00]** How about Tuesday?

_That… was not as bad as it could have been. Priyanka’s cool, she gets it. Maybe soon she’ll get another kind of it, muahaha._

**[14:26]** I would apologise but I’m not sorry for being so nice to you  
**[14:27]** Tuesday sounds perfect 😊 I’ll think of somewhere nice and let you know!

The next message on her list was from Kiara, who, despite chatting regularly, she still hasn’t met. But all that could change soon.

 **[13:49]** Bonjour bonjour! I was wondering, do you want to hang out today? 🙂 I have to watch a movie for class tomorrow if you’d like to come to mine? Or we could go out somewhere? I don’t really care about class anyway lol 😛

 _She is such a sweetheart_ , thought Lemon, mentally debating whether she could deal with leaving the house again today or if she needed to lie down in a dark room. _We’ve been talking about meeting up for ages, I shouldn’t keep stringing her along. It’s just a movie, nothing else has to happen!_

 **[14:30]** Guten Tag! A movie night would actually be lovely! I can bring snacks?

Kiara seemed to be much more organised than Lemon, and replied almost immediately.

 **[14:32]** Perfect! I’ll send you my address, want to come over around 7?  
**[14:32]** And you can if you want to, I think I have some chocolate somewhere! We can steal my roommate’s if we need to 😜  
**[14:33]** Btw it’s an experimental Russian film from 1928, but it’s too late to change your mind now! 😁 à plus tard! X

_Okay, so perhaps there might not be much actual movie watching…_

Kyne had also messaged earlier this morning, so at least Lemon could breathe a sigh of relief in the knowledge that she was still alive.

 **[10:47]** Wow I was so fucked last night  
**[10:47]** Literally and metaphorically  
**[10:47]** Ilona made me pancakes this morning how cute are they?!  
**[10:47]** Did you know they’re two spirited btw?! I think we’re best friends now  
**[10:47]** Their flatmate got home at like 7 with another girl and they were both still absolutely wasted  
**[10:48]** I also text my roommate that I love her lol my life is a mess  
**[10:48]** I hope you had a good night!!  
**[10:48]** Also Ilona and I have decided you need to dye your hair yellow to be a true lemon

Relieved to know that Scarlett and Tynomi were also still alive after last night - earlier, Jimbo had revealed that the last time she’d seen them, Scarlett had been riding Tynomi like a horse across a road - she was also glad that Kyne had fun; she wouldn’t have gone and had the night she’d had without her. Even if she did disappear early on. The girl was a social, sexual butterfly.

 **[14:35]** I’ll think about the hair, might be cute!  
**[14:36]** Thank you so much again for coming with me!  
**[14:36]** I’m glad Scar and Tynomi are ok, I was 5th wheeling all night lol  
**[14:36]** Good luck with your roommate, buy her apology flowers?

Finally, she came to the name that had caused her apparent breakdown last night. While she remembered seeing that they had matched, she hadn’t realised that Juice had also sent a message. Rather than wasting time panicking about the myriad of possibilities, Lemon bit the bullet and opened it.

 **[01:22]** Sorry, that was an accident x

 _Seriously?_ Lemon read and re-read the short sentence again and again, hoping that more information would emerge. But the words stayed exactly the same on the screen. _Is that it? She could’ve just unmatched with me immediately. Why did she have to write something so shitty?_

Throwing her phone down on her bed, she marched downstairs to find something to eat, and hopefully avoid the uncomfortable questioning from her parents. She was now more determined than ever to enjoy her night, and not let thoughts of her ex ruin any more fun.

***

Lemon bounced excitedly along the pavement of Kiara’s street, a shopping bag of cookies and ice cream in her hand. Not even the drizzle could dampen her mood, she was going to a hot girl’s house to ‘watch a movie’. Rita had text a single gif of a cat with heart eyes earlier, so she was also pleased that her drunk wingwoman skills hadn’t gone unrewarded. Even if she was now feeling ever so slightly jealous of the new couple and how they’d probably spent their afternoon. Looking along the rows of apartment buildings, Lemon was suddenly hit with a feeling of déjà vu. But then again, lots of streets in Toronto look similar, so it probably meant nothing. She’d just been on too many dates this week.

She found Kiara’s building, and caught her eyes lingering on the pink and white hydrangea bush to the left of the door. It was pretty, and she was so sure she had thought the exact same thing about a similar bush recently. She pressed the intercom button for the apartment, and took a slow walk up to the second floor. She had definitely been here before, the staircase was really familiar, as was the broken banister in between steps seven and eight. And when she reached the bright blue doormat outside the open door, where Kiara stood with a beaming smile, she realised exactly when she had last been here. As the tall girl - much taller than Lemon had even imagined - pulled her in for a tight hug, Lemon panicked, and knew she had to say something.

“This is really awkward, but I think I’ve hooked up with your roommate.”

Lemon stood by and waited for the awkward goodbye or the door slamming, but instead, Kiara was… laughing?

“Who, Kyne?! Join the list, baby! You’re so cute, come in, welcome back!”

Lemon stepped into the purple hallway, finally allowing herself to take in Kiara. She was even more stunning in person, if that was possible. Her hair, which was long and sleek in her profile pictures, was now sitting in tight coils atop her head, showcasing her high cheekbones and impossibly twinkly hazel eyes. Her figure was completely model-esque, and even in a baggy cami top and grey jogging bottoms, she looked amazing. If she was so cool about it, then why wasn’t Lemon?

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be weird, I just don’t know the protocol for these types of things.”

The bronze-skinned Québécoise wrapped an arm around Lemon’s waist, walking them past the orange door to the room where she had spent her previous visit, and into the joint kitchen and living space. She hadn’t stopped smiling once, which only made Lemon more nervous. “I’m sorry for laughing, it’s not at you, I promise! This was bound to happen one day! I’m really sorry if this is weird, we can go out if you prefer? She’s really hungover today anyway, so I don’t think we’ll see her at all, if that’s what you’re worried about. Or we can invite her to join us?” Kiara raised an eyebrow suggestively at the last part, finally helping Lemon laugh and relax somewhat. “To watch the movie, I mean! I have to write an essay about it, so I really do have to pay attention!”

Lemon shrugged deflatedly, why was she so nervous about this? Kiara was super sweet, they had so much in common and they enjoyed chatting, and now she had just explicitly said that she wasn’t expecting anything other than a chilled night in. She thought back to last night in Scarlett and Ilona’s living room: Kyne had all but admitted to having fallen for her flatmate and not being brave enough to do anything about it. Is her being here completely unethical? Could she put in a good word for her new friend? But first, a burning question popped into her mind.

“Hang on, Kyne said her roommate did porn?!”

Once again, Kiara’s head was tilted back, her hearty laughter filling the room. It was a sound Lemon could definitely get used to. “That fucking bitch, of course she did! I just do the makeup! I try not to mention the porn part because people get a bit... ugh about it, but I literally just turn up, paint, and go home, I don’t see anything bad! Well, apart from putting concealer on asses!”

“That’s such a strange yet cool gig! You’ll have to do my makeup one day!” beamed Lemon, feeling more self-conscious about her winged eyeliner than usual. Kiara tilted her chin up with one hand, replying coolly. 

“Well, you have an excellent canvas, I’m not sure how I could improve it! Kyne always said she good taste!” The girl was smooth, she could easily see where Kyne’s infatuation came from. She was in danger of falling just as hard.

“So, where do you wanna watch this thing? I love experimental Russian films of the 1920s” blushed the blonde, holding her bag of goodies out to Kiara.

“Oh wow, that’s a lot of snacks, you’re amazing! We could watch it in my room if you want? I don’t care if you get ice cream on my duvet, but Kyne will kill you if it goes on the sofa!”

Kiara’s bedroom was the polar opposite of Kyne’s. While the Filipina’s had been clinically white and methodically organised, Kiara’s walls were painted a bright blue and littered with photographs, postcards, and movie posters. There were rows of colourful fairy lights hung up across two walls, and the bed was completely covered in a random assortment of scatter cushions and blankets. It was cosy, and Lemon felt at ease as she climbed onto the double bed, feeling it dip as Kiara crawled beside her with her laptop. She grinned cheekily at Lemon with her tongue between her teeth. “Are you ready for the best 105 minutes of your life?”

“That’s a lot longer than it usually takes, but sure!”

Kiara was laughing softly again, pressing play. As the black and white title card appeared on screen, she gazed over at Lemon again, taking her in. “Are you okay like that, or do you want to cuddle? Or you can take a cushion if you’d prefer?”

 _She is so lovely_ , thought Lemon as she slithered over until her shoulder was flush with Kiara’s. _Where has all that sass from earlier gone? Is she nervous? Is this okay?_ Before Lemon could worry anymore, Kiara had put an arm around her, the duo smiling softly as they lay down and adjusted their arms and legs around each other. Despite being so thin, Kiara felt so warm and snuggly, the gentle aroma of what Lemon recognised as spearmint shower gel lulling her into a deep state of relaxation.

***

“That is adorable, she is so cute! Are you going to let her sleep over?”

“I don’t have a choice, she’s been out cold for two hours! Can I sleep with you tonight?”

“Umm, yeah, of course… listen, about that text last night…”

“Shh, don’t worry about it, we can talk tomorrow. Is it weird to watch her like this? We’re like her proud gay moms.”

As Lemon painstakingly opened her eyes, she was greeted by the smiling faces of Kiara and Kyne standing at the foot of the bed, watching over her intently.

“Good morning, princess! Go back to sleep, don’t worry!”

The blonde groggily shook her head, hands still clinging to a velvet cushion shaped like a pug. “What about the movie?”

Kiara giggled as Kyne sat at the bottom of the bed, reassuringly patting her calf. “It was so good, you slept through all of it!”

She groaned loudly, covering her face with the pillow and kicking off the blanket that had been carefully draped over her. “I’m so sorry!” She pulled herself up, rubbing a tiny bit of drool from the corner of her mouth. “I don’t know how that happened.”

“I do!” piped Kyne, “Old Russian war films are shit, I don’t blame you!”

“Neither do I, you missed absolutely nothing,” laughed Kiara as she too flopped onto the bed, leaning over to fix a rogue piece of blonde hair by Lemon’s cheek. “I’m sorry for putting you through it!”

“Although, speaking from experience, you’d have probably fallen asleep no matter what you were doing in that bed.”

Kiara feigned shock, picking up a small, orange cushion and launching it straight at Kyne’s head. Lemon watched their dynamic intently, there was definitely something other than just a flatmate relationship there, and it definitely wasn’t one-sided. 

“You’re more than welcome to stay over, Limoncello! On Sunday nights chez KyKi we usually get high and get naked, it’s not too late!”

Kiara rolled her eyes, “I told you, please never say KyKi again, it’s awful,” her voice low as she muttered to her flatmate.

“I mean, when you say ‘get naked’...?” Checking the time on her phone (10.30pm, so definitely not too late to order an Uber home), she looked at the two girls beside her. Were they serious? Had they planned this?

“Exactly what it sounds like,” smirked Kyne, popping her tongue at Lemon. “We can make a KyKimon sandwich!”

“Orrrr,” Kiara interjected, “we can just chill out and watch Netflix, without the naked part. Or you can go home, it’s totally your call, princess.” Lemon smiled at the tall girl, she was obviously doing her best to make Lemon feel comfortable, which she greatly appreciated as she ran through her options. She really didn’t know what to do, she’d never been in such a surreal situation before where two unbelievably sexy women were so candidly inviting her to have sex with them. But she had to admit that she’d felt tingles between her legs when Kiara had called her princess, and it wasn’t just because of her accent. 

“And you’re both serious?”

Both girls laughed, sliding closer together to Lemon’s side on the bed, joining their hands. “You’re so cute,” sighed Kiara dreamily, “I mean, I 100% want to, if you do? And I suspect Kyne is down for round two, she never invites anyone to join us! You must be good.”

“I’m warning you, Kiki, she’s a bossy bottom!”

Now it was Lemon’s turn to throw a cushion at Kyne, even though she wasn’t necessarily wrong. “You,” she directed at the dark-haired girl, “are so mean! Don’t give away all my secrets before we’ve even started!” The momentary silence between the three girls was tense, and Lemon found herself breaking it by pulling off her vest top. _Fuck it, what’s the worst that can happen?_ Her pupils widened and her pulse raced as she watched Kyne and Kiara look at each other, wordlessly deciding who should make the next move. It was the latter who leaned forward first, placing a chaste kiss on Lemon’s lips, the blonde chasing after them as she tried to pull away. The slender girl effortlessly switched places with Kyne, who moved a hand to hold Lemon’s head as she delicately explored her mouth.

“We haven’t even gotten high yet,” she panted as she leaned back, running her hand along Lemon’s jaw, slowly moving it down her neck, where Kiara had moved in and was planting tiny kisses.

“I don’t think we need to,” purred the blonde, manoeuvring Kiara up to kiss her mouth again. Kyne moved a leg across to straddle Lemon, replacing her roommate’s mouth on Lemon’s neck, lightly grazing her teeth along her fair skin. 

“Want us to look after you, princess?” Lemon thought Kiara looked positively sinful as she kneeled beside her and let Lemon kiss along her collarbone, her pupils blown wide and bottom lip between her teeth, her skin glowing red and blue as the fairy lights twinkled at her side. This definitely wasn’t the same sheepish girl from the start of the movie. Lemon could feel how wet she already was, and her heartbeat was accelerating through her whole body like she was ready to take off. She turned her head to Kyne, their eyes meeting for a microsecond before the dark-haired girl was sitting up and pulling off her t-shirt with an insincere “oops”. Her lips were red and swollen, and as Lemon’s eyes wandered down to the black sports bra which concealed her breasts, she was taken by surprise at the sudden pressure on her pelvis, Kyne purposefully grinding on top of her, a smug smile still plastered on her face. 

“Fuck, I want you both so bad.”

While Lemon may have still been conflicted about the feelings Kyne had confided in her the night before, there was no way she could ignore the burning need sweeping through her. And as she watched Kyne pull Kiara’s shirt over her head, their tongues dancing together gracefully between working off each others’ bras, she allowed her hips to roll up and meet Kyne’s, the familiar pleasure already starting to build. She grabbed needily at Kiara, pulling her head down to kiss her with an inexplicable force. She sat up, removing her own bra in record time, and blissfully moaned as a mouth fell upon each nipple, causing her to collapse back against the soft mattress. She had no idea who was the one to remove her jeans, or whose finger was the first to trace a line over her soaking wet cotton panties, but she was too far gone to even care. Nothing outside of those four blue walls mattered right now. Not even her phone lighting up on the carpet below her, announcing a new message from Juice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And if anyone else would like to bore a potential date to sleep, I can highly recommend the 1928 Sergei Eisenstein experimental silent film based on the events of the 1917 Russian Revolution: **October _(Ten days that shook the world)_**!


	10. Another morning after, another look back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after Lemon's 'run-in' with Kiara and Kyne, she finds herself thinking about how she ended up in this position.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Normally I like to stay a few chapters ahead of my posting schedule, but unfortunately, I am currently suffering from *~*writer's block*~*! 
> 
> As such, the next update may be a while, so consider this a sort of Act One Finale chapter as we dive back in time, oooh! Also it's my birthday next week so I plan to be drunk for the majority of it.
> 
> As usual, you are all amazing, thank you so much for reading, your comments make me so so happy, I love your hair and I hope you win! ❤️❤️
> 
> ps. Skip the flashback if you don't like the f-word. There's a lot.

“Please believe me, I had no idea she was your roommate!”

Kyne snorted ungracefully, taking a sip from the coffee Kiara had brought her before leaving for class. The two girls were sat upright in the purple bed, still naked and basking in the faint aroma of sweat and sex. Lemon had to concede that her first threesome had been mindblowing, but this morning she was feeling tinged with regret. Did Kyne hate her?  
“Citrus, you think _far_ too much, chill out!”

“I wouldn’t have come over if I’d known, I’m so sorry!”

Kyne sat her mug down on the wooden bedside table, before taking Lemon’s from her hands and doing the same. She turned towards the blonde girl, sitting with her legs crossed underneath her.

“Girl, listen. Firstly, with all due respect, we hardly know each other! You’re not breaking any sort of ‘girl code,’” she rolled her eyes as she made inverted commas with her two fingers. “Secondly, you didn’t know we lived together, obviously, why would you?! I don’t talk to Kiki much about Tinder because, well, you know; and she doesn’t talk about it to me either, I couldn’t believe it when she told me you were here! And I was sooo drunk on Saturday, I was just in my feelings and going over the top.” She took Lemon’s hand and rubbed it gently, finally earning a small smile from the other girl. “But anyways, wasn’t last night fun?!”

Lemon laughed as she put her free hand on top of Kyne’s, intertwining their fingers. “Dare I ask why you even asked me to join in?”

The tanned girl only snickered. “Come on, I’m only human, I didn’t want to miss out! So _please_ promise me, Lemmy, don’t worry about it! I’ll be fine, hiding my feelings like I’ve been doing for the last year!”

Lemon shifted herself closer to the younger girl, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and letting her lean into her. “A full year, wow, that’s a lot of pining.” She felt a light slap on her wrist before Kyne leaned back over to the table and handed Lemon back her coffee cup. She sighed back into Lemon’s embrace.

“We completely fucked it, we were in the same group of friends in first year, and then she found this place and asked if I wanted to move in with her. And on the very first night of living together, boom, fucking on the couch. We’ve managed to keep it completely fun and casual and non-weird, but if I suddenly turn and go _‘Oh hey Kiki by the way I’m in love with you, thanks!_ ’, everything will be ruined!”

She had never seen Kyne look so small and vulnerable before, all the confidence and sensual charisma from last night had completely vanished as she snuggled in closer to Lemon’s side. “So, you don’t want to risk losing your regular fuckbuddy, when there’s a chance she feels the same and you could start something great?”

“Why, has she said something to you?” Kyne perked up, her eyes looking bright and hopeful.

“No, sorry baby. But I do have eyes, she was focussed on nothing but you last night.”

Kyne tried her best to hide her disappointment, blowing a raspberry through her lips. “Well, obviously, I’m pretty good at the whole sex thing.”

Shaking her head as she laughed, Lemon squeezed the shorter girl against her. “I’m not gonna disagree! But seriously, if it’s stressing you out this much, you should just-”

“Lemon, I swear to god, if you say ‘ _just talk to her_ ’, I will insert my entire foot into your anus.”

They sat on the bed in a silent deadlock, both trying hard to not smile and break the faux standoff that had been created. But as Lemon took a slight breath before speaking, Kyne interrupted her.

“Without lube!”

The two girls erupted into a fit of laughter after a second, Kyne having to once again put their half-full coffee cups back on the side table to avoid the risk of ruining Kiara’s bed. Lemon wrapped her other arm around Kyne’s front, and they shuffled down slightly to lay more comfortably together. “I was actually going to ask what you said to her on Saturday night?”

“Fuuuuuck” ground Kyne, rolling over to face away from Lemon so they could spoon. “Well she didn’t murder me yesterday, which is something.”

“Was it really that bad?” hummed Lemon as she stroked the dark brunette hair in front of her. She felt much closer to the younger student after the last few days and nights, feeling almost privileged that Kyne had granted her access to her innermost fears and worries.

“If I remember correctly, it was along the lines of ‘ _I wish we could be more than flatmates, because I really love you and wish you felt the same_.’ But imagine that with terrible spelling and lots of heart emojis.”

“Ah. Yeah, that leaves little open to interpretation.” Lemon had moved onto running her short nails up and down Kyne’s back, watching tiny goosebumps appear whenever she threatened to move her hand too low. “Did she reply that night?”

The other girl just scoffed. “The bitch said ‘ _Have a good night lol_ ’. Lol?! L. O. L. Who even says _lol_ anymore?”

“Maybe she just didn’t know what to say? It was pretty obvious you were wasted, so you can understand her not wanting to have a deep-and-meaningful via text.” Lemon wanted nothing more than to cuddle away the other girl’s anxieties. She’d been through a scenario like this before, and remembered exactly how nervous she was beforehand… But also how happy she was when it worked out. It was just a shame it didn’t last. “Kiara doesn’t seem like the kind of person to literally laugh in your face if you’ve admitted your feelings for her; she was probably lol-ing more at your terrible texting!”

“True. She did say we should talk today, so if I leave now, I should be across the border by lunchtime tomorrow!”

Lemon leaned over and placed a tender kiss on Kyne’s temple. “Just don’t put your foot up her ass, I don’t think she’d appreciate that.” Kyne snickered, wiggling her bum directly against Lemon’s crotch, making Lemon’s breath hitch as she almost let herself get carried away on the wave of lust. “Nope, none of that, missy! I’m teaching my first class this evening, so I have to get home and prepare!”

Kyne rotated herself to face Lemon, her big brown eyes shining through her exaggerated pout. “You lemon-stealing whore! Well if you won’t let me do that, will you at least help me cut in some bangs before you go?”

How could Lemon not laugh at Kyne’s endless surprises? “Bangs? Seriously?” 

“Yeah, I just fancy a change… and Kiara said a while back she thinks I’d suit them.”

Sitting up again, Lemon stretched her arms up over her head. “You’re _Kyne-da_ weird, but I like you!” 

***

**[22:44]** Sorry, that was unnecessary. I wasn’t expecting to have matched with you, it took a while to process. I hope you’re doing well - Brooke told me about your dance troupe, I’m so sorry. I hope something even better comes up soon, you’re too good to not share your talent. I’ve been going to therapy, and so far I feel like it’s really helping. I’m 6 weeks sober too which I’m told is a big deal. Not that you care about any of this of course, sorry for rambling. I assumed you’d blocked my number, but I wanted to let you know anyway. Look after yourself, Lem 💜 

_Right. Okay. Cool._ Lemon read Juice’s message over and over again, the words becoming more jumbled and meaningless each time. There was so much she wanted to do and say that she didn’t know where to start. That was quite possibly the most mature thing she’d seen Juice write, especially over the last couple of months. But it had also arrived at the most inconvenient time: she was meant to be choosing music and finalising some choreography for the beginner’s contemporary class she was teaching in just three hours, but now she couldn’t think about anything else. 

_She’s getting help, that’s great. She sounds well. She’s still friends with Brooke Lynn, that’s good. She thinks I don’t care about her anymore… that’s the worst part._

What was she supposed to do now? Should she reply, even just to acknowledge that she’s seen it? Should she formulate a proper reply, telling Juice that she really is proud of her and still cares for her? For now, all she could do was lay on her bed, letting the sad acoustic music in the background transport her back to the night it had all ended…

_It was well past midnight, and Lemon had just arrived home after another show with her contemporary company. The applause and whistles after every performance left her feeling such a high, but lately, she hadn’t been able to keep the buzz going all night. These days, even the thought of going home was enough to ruin her mood. As she tiptoed through the front door and along the wooden floor of their open-plan living space, she saw a familiar sight: the silvery-blonde hair of her girlfriend poking out over the top of a blanket, sound asleep on the sofa. Placing her holdall down as quietly as she could, she made her way to the sink to get herself a water, thinking of also leaving one for Juice. Unfortunately, the apartment block’s ancient plumbing did not get the memo to be quiet, and Juice was quickly sitting up again._

_“Oh.” That was the only sound she made to acknowledge Lemon’s safe return home. She was used to it by now, but that didn’t make it hurt any less._

_“I had a great evening, thanks babe!” she uttered, her tone intentionally stinging. “We had a sold-out audience again. The boss said I was a stand-out tonight, but I don’t even know why I try when the one person I wish would come and watch me is never there.”_

_There was a moment of heavy silence as Lemon placed the glass of water on the small, round table next to the couch where Juice was sat. As she had turned back to grab her own, her girlfriend spoke up._

_“You know he’s only saying that because he wants to fuck you.”_

_Not wanting to reveal the fury in her eyes, Lemon steadied herself against the countertop. “Thanks for all your support, hon.” This was far from the first time they’d had this argument, and although Lemon knew she should be reassuring her girlfriend’s anxieties, she had reached a point where she simply couldn’t handle it any more. She couldn’t pinpoint exactly what had happened, but for the last month, Juice had been paranoid. Excessively so. Last week, she had even caught her girlfriend looking through her phone, but she had remained silent in the hope that the lack of incriminating material would automatically clear her of any wrongdoing. But alas, Juice persisted. What was she supposed to do when the girl she loved didn’t trust her anymore, for no reason?_

_“So I’m just supposed to sit back and watch a bunch of filthy, rich men ogle my girlfriend as she dances for them in a leotard?”_

_Lemon snapped, as she always did. Turning around to march back towards the couch, Juice was already on her feet. It was as if this whole argument was premeditated. “I’m a dancer, Juice, not a fucking prostitute! And you’d know that if you actually showed my work the slightest bit of interest!”_

_“Oh, so this is my fault now? Sorry for having to work two jobs and study and not have time for jaunts to the opera house every night! It’s not my fault I wasn’t handed my life on a silver platter!”_

_“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”_

_“You know exactly what I mean, you got your scholarship and your mentors and your contacts, not forgetting mummy and daddy who pay the rest; it’s not that easy for the rest of us!”_

_“And what? If you were good enough, you’d have that too!”_

_“Oh fuck all the way off! Little miss perfect Luisa who everyone loves and who gets everything her own way! Your life is so easy, but do you ever think of me? When have you ever told me you’re proud of me for following my dreams, huh? When have you ever even publicly admitted to anyone else that I exist? I’m just the fucking roommate, nobody cares about me!”_

_“I cared about you!”_

_“No, you took pity on me, why the fuck else would you ask me out?”_

_“I’m telling you, Juice, I’m taking fucking pity on you right now, this is absolutely pathetic!”_

_“Oh, I’m pathetic? Coming from the girl who cried yesterday because I accidentally threw her lip gloss in the trash while I was cleaning, even though I’m the only one who ever fucking cleans or does anything around here!”_

_“This is such fucking bullshit, I’m tired, I’m going to bed.”_

_“Fuck off, then!”_

_“Fuck you too, Julia!”_

_She had had this same fight in so many different forms over the last month that she didn’t even cry about it anymore. As she robotically changed into her pyjamas in the bedroom, she waited until she heard the sound of Juice settling back on the couch before she shuffled to the bathroom. Her muscles were aching and her mind was racing, formulating a plan to break this cycle once and for all. Once she was back in her side of the empty bed, she sent a text._

_**[00:56]** Sorry if this wakes you, mum. Do you still finish work early tomorrow? Can you please come and pick me up once you’re done? Xx _

That was the last time she had actually spoken to Juice face to face. And sure enough, the next day, her mum had arrived at her flat and helped her pack her clothes into every available bag she had, even helping Lemon transport her favourite plants down the stairs. The day after that, after 21 missed calls and over 50 incoherent messages on various platforms, Lemon had blocked Juice’s number, as well as on every social medium possible, even LinkedIn. She spent the entire day crying and panicking and screaming into her pillow. She couldn’t face telling Jan or Jackie for another week. She couldn’t even talk to her parents about what exactly had happened until the week after that. Everything had fallen apart, and she thought that she would never recover. She worried that Juice wouldn’t cope without her and potentially do something stupid, especially if she was drunk. Cutting her off had been the hardest thing she had ever had to do - even harder than the first time she asked her out - but she knew she had to do it, for both of their sakes.

And now, reflecting on everything that had happened, Lemon could see how much she had grown in such a short space of time. She felt stronger. She was still anxious, yes, but she was just about coping. And as she lay on her bed in the foetal position, eyes still remarkably dry, she understood the two choices she now had: she could carry on with her upward trajectory as she recovered from her failed relationship, ignoring Juice’s message; or she could risk falling back to square one and ruining everything by replying to her ex, reopening the wounds and painful memories, but potentially getting the closure of seeing them both in a better place. They were both still here, and they were both getting better.

The clock was ticking, and Lemon still hadn’t even warmed up. Pulling herself upright, she grabbed her phone and turned the music off. Before walking to the bathroom, she opened the app and read the message once again.

**[15:38]** I’m really glad to hear that, Juicey. I’m honestly so proud of you 💛

_Maybe that was a huge mistake. But it’s too late now._


	11. A proper, official date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With thirty minutes to go until she had to leave for her date with Priyanka, physically, Lemon was ready. Her hair was wavy and her makeup was perfect, if she could say so herself. Yet she was still inexplicably nervous. She knew Priyanka had work the next morning, so she was unlikely to stay over or do anything crazy, but they were still going on a proper date, the most official date Lemon had been on yet. She sat on her bed, sending message after message to the _‘Feeling the Jantasy’_ group chat she shared with her friends. She sincerely hoped they’d soon get bored of sending suggestive gifs and give her some actual advice...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I've been sitting on this chapter for a while because I was struggling to write 12 and 13 (spoiler alert: they're filler), but I hope you like it! All your lovely comments have made me so happy, so I really hope I can keep the momentum going! As always, I am ALWAYS open to comments, suggestions, headcanons, prompts, and thesaurus suggestions! Lots of love, and stay safe out there! xoxo

With thirty minutes to go until she had to leave for her date with Priyanka, physically, Lemon was ready. Her hair was wavy and her makeup was perfect, if she could say so herself. Yet she was still inexplicably nervous. She knew Priyanka had work the next morning, so she was unlikely to stay over or do anything crazy, but they were still going on a proper date, the most official date Lemon had been on yet. She sat on her bed, sending message after message to the _‘Feeling the Jantasy’_ group chat she shared with her friends. She sincerely hoped they’d soon get bored of sending suggestive gifs and give her some actual advice, when suddenly, a gentle tap at the door stopped her. 

“Hi Lemmy, can I come in?”

Locking her phone and laying it face down on the mattress - just in case - Lemon replied affirmatively.

“Wow, look at you, beautiful!” her mum smiled as she stepped into Lemon’s pristine lair. “Am I to assume we won’t be seeing you for yet another night?”

Lemon sighed at her mum’s disappointed tone. They get on so well, and she had truly enjoyed spending more time together these last few weeks. She still just hadn’t quite figured out how to explain to her mum that she’d been playing the field. It’s not that she would be upset or ashamed with her; Lemon was more reluctant to be setting herself up for constant lectures about the dangers of the internet or the risk of having sex with strangers.

“Yeah, I’m going for dinner.”

“That’s lovely, who with?” As much as she wanted to dodge the question, she knew she couldn’t lie to her mum. She already knew her existing friends far too well to know that they never got dressed up for dinner on a Tuesday night. So rather than lie completely, she did the only other thing she could think of: bend the truth slightly.

“Just a girl I know…” At that alone, her mum’s face lit up excitedly. “We’ve just been getting to know each other recently, hanging out and stuff, it’s been nice!”

Her mum was practically beaming. “I knew it! I’m so happy for you, darling! So? What’s her name, how did you meet?”

Lemon said a silent prayer to anyone listening that her years of dance theatre gave her enough acting experience to pull this off. “Umm, her name’s Priyanka…”

“That’s a pretty name!”

“Yep, it is! She… knows Brooke Lynn! So I’d been saying to Brooke that I was feeling ready to try dating again, she said she had a single friend she thought I’d like, and so here we are!” Lying to her own mother made her feel horrendous, but it was still far better than the alternative. She smiled, hoping her mum didn’t ask for any more details, because the truth was, Lemon still knew hardly anything about her date. 

“Sweetheart, that is amazing! It must be going really well, since you’re never at home anymore?”

“Yeah, it’s going great, we’re just taking it slow and seeing what happens.” _Can mum hear my heartbeat? It is definitely louder than normal, am I going to hell?_

“Well, slow enough that she’s vacuuming your neck every night, clearly!”

Collapsing sideways onto her pillows with a humpf, Lemon could once again feel the fire in her cheeks. “I’m 25, mum!! I can do what I want!”

“I know, I know, you do whatever you enjoy, pumpkin! Your dad and I have personally never been ones for vampire role-play, but-”

“No. I am putting an end to this conversation right now, mum!” The blonde shook her head violently, trying to delete every unwanted image of her parents that had invaded her brain. 

“Well anyways, I’m so happy for you, darling! When am I getting to meet her? Do you think you’ll bring her to Cheryl’s wedding next year?”

 _Ah, yes, Cheryl’s wedding. Highlight of the global lesbian calendar and my chance to show my extended family how useless I am in comparison._ Lemon adored her cousin in the UK - she had sneaked the Canadian into her first ever gay bar and given her endless advice and support before coming out to her parents - but why did she have to plan a wedding for a time when Lemon was so horrendously single? And even worse, why did she have to send the invitation to her old address she shared with Juice?

“That’s still ages away, mum! Plus I told Cheryl not to expect me to have a plus one, especially after her awkward Skype call with Juice about the invite.”

Her mum gritted her teeth at the memory. “Oh yeah, that did sound awful, poor Cheryl… but hey! You just said _that_ name, and there’s no tears! Peronka must be doing something right!”

Lemon stared at her mum, trying not to laugh. “Who the fuck is Peronka, mum, it’s Priyanka!” Despite her faux pas, she did have a point. Her bottom lip hadn’t even trembled as she said the name which was once a no-go.

Her mum, meanwhile, flushed red as a tomato as she flung her hands to cover her mouth. “Sorry! Oh no, please don’t tell her, I promise I won’t do that in front of her! Oh! There’s an idea! Where are you meeting tonight, I can give you a lift!”

Clenching her jaw tightly, Lemon tried to be as tactile as possible. She had gotten into the habit of her mum dropping her off everywhere due to her complete lack of motivation to sit her driving test. She knew her mum enjoyed the time together, and although she means well… she really doesn’t want to scare off Priyanka so soon. “Thanks, mum, but I was just going to get an Uber, I don’t want you-”

“Don’t be silly! Your dad is watching that sports stuff again, I’d only be sitting in the house bored!”

“No but really, mum, I don’t think Priyanka’s ready to-”

“Luisa Elliot Baptista, do you honestly think I’d embarrass you in front of your potential new girlfriend?!” Her mum only ever used her full name when she was mad, and despite her smiling face, Lemon knew that she was at great risk of causing an unnecessary rift.

Sighing, she conceded. “Okay, sure, thanks mum. Are you ready to leave in about ten minutes?”

Jumping off the bed excitedly, Lemon’s mum leaned forward to pinch her daughter’s cheeks. “I’m ready when you are, sweetie! Now are you sure you don’t want to wear a darker lip colour?”

***

**[18:58]** Hello hello hello! Good news, I am very excited for tonight  
**[18:58]** Bad news, my mum is insisting on dropping me off and wants to meet you  
**[18:58]** And I may have told her we’ve been seeing each other for the last week or so  
**[18:59]** When in fact I’ve just been a slut 😔  
**[18:59]** So I understand if you want to call tonight off short notice, I’ll make an excuse

**[18:59]** Oh my, such a web of lies!  
**[18:59]** NO  
**[18:59]** I will not have such self-deprecating talk on my tinder, Lemmy!!  
**[19:00]** You’re 25 and hot and single! Live your best life, just be gay, fuck every woman in the country, be the gold medal slut I know you can be!  
**[19:00]** What does she know? I’m ready to channel all my improv classes from theatre camp!

Priyanka’s response made Lemon want to cry as she sat in the passenger seat, her mum obliviously humming along to the queer rap playlist Lemon had introduced her to. How could her date be so laid back and understanding? She couldn’t say for sure whether she’d be as willing to go along with such a ploy.

 **[19:02]** Omg Priyanka you are amazing  
**[19:02]** I owe you BIG TIME  
**[19:02]** I’ve told her absolutely nothing except your name  
**[19:03]** And she thinks we met through my friend Brooke Lynn

**[19:03]** I actually do have a friend called Brooke Lynn lol  
**[19:03]** So that part’s easy  
**[19:04]** In fact she’s a dancer too, is this the same friend? Hytes?  
**[19:05]** I just stalked her Facebook and she’s friends with a Lemon! That must be you, right?! What a small world!   
**[19:07]** Awww she has pics of baby Lemon in a tutu!!!! 😍  
**[19:07]** Ok sorry no more stalking  
**[19:07]** For now  
**[19:08]** That’s so crazy! She’s in my pilates class!  
**[19:08]** Oh yes, I’m flexible 😉

**[19:18]** There’s plenty more pictures where that came from, play your cards right and I’ll set up a slideshow!  
**[19:18]** I’m on my way now, see you soon!  
**[19:19]** I’ll be the blonde in the camel coat with the hyperactive mother in tow, just in case!  
**[19:19]** No comment on the flexible thing

**[19:22]** I’m really looking forward to it I genuinely can’t hide my excitement 😐  
**[19:22]** I’m here already, waiting outside! I’m always early, not sorry about it   
**[19:23]** You know what I look like lol, I’m unique

Lemon caught sight of her date as soon as her mum turned the corner into the restaurant’s car park. _Fuck, she is gorgeous, maybe if we’d met sooner we actually would’ve spent the full week together…_ “You can stop here, mum, this is fine!”

But Lemon’s pressured suggestions went unheard. “Is that her there, Lem? She is stunning! Oh Lemon, think how beautiful your babies would be!”

“Did you even pass high school, mum? Now pleeeeease, you promised not to embarrass me!” Lemon winced as her mum instead decided to slow the car down to standstill directly parallel to the pavement where Priyanka was standing. She opened the door and jumped out as quickly as she could, but not before her mum had rolled down the window. Priyanka, meanwhile, was watching this unfold with a toothy grin, looking back and forth between the mother and daughter.

“Priyanka? Hi!” a voice from the car emerged.

“Hi, Mrs Lemon!” smiled Priyanka, shuffling closer to the car as Lemon ran around the bonnet. To Lemon’s surprise, the other girl extended a hand to her, which she gripped onto for dear life as she panicked about what her mum might do next. 

“It’s so lovely to finally meet you!” came the voice from the car again, Lemon doing her best to avoid looking at her mum, and instead focussed on Priyanka’s profile. She was wearing a bright blue eyeshadow which popped beautifully against her dark skin, and her jet black hair was styled into a sleek half-ponytail. “Lemon has told me absolutely nothing about you, but I had to meet the reason she’s been floating around the house with such a big smile lately!”

Priyanka turned to Lemon with a smirk, catching the blonde girl checking her out. Thankfully, she kept playing along. “Oh really? Well, my name’s Pri, I teach Grade 4, and I’ve never watched Game of Thrones!”

 _How is she so calm right now? She’s making mum laugh, she’s making me laugh, oh my god… am I in a fake dating alternate universe? Is she my soulmate?_ Lemon finally stopped daydreaming when she felt a gentle squeeze against her hand, and she realised they were saying their goodbyes. 

“Have a lovely night, girls! I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Lemon, be safe! Bye!”

Lemon could only watch in a mild trance as her mum drove away, Priyanka still grinning from ear to ear and waving with her free hand. Once the silver car was completely gone, the girls turned to each other, both attempting to speak at the exact same time.

“I’m so sorry! She’s a nightmare!”

“She’s so fun! I love your mum!”

They looked at each other and laughed, Priyanka eventually nodding at Lemon to speak first.

“I cannot thank you enough for going along with that, I am so sorry! If you wanna just forget about all this I wouldn’t blame you!”

Priyanka snorted in response. “What, and let you spend the night with one of your other Tinder boos? No chance, you’re stuck with me now, Lemmy!”

It was then they collectively realised that they were still holding hands. But neither did anything about it. And if Priyanka felt Lemon shiver slightly at the sensation of her thumb rubbing along her knuckles, she didn’t say anything.

“Shall we go in? I haven’t been on a fancy date like this in a while, so I didn’t know where to suggest, but I didn’t know if you liked seafood or if-”

“Lemondra”, began Priyanka, completely cutting off Lemon’s nervous ramblings, “You could take me to Timmy’s and I’d still have the best night ever!”

Lemon looked to the ground to try and disguise her blush. She felt completely smitten, something she hadn’t felt with Kyne or Rita or Tynomi or Kiara. Priyanka was completely magnetic, and she was in no rush whatsoever to let go of her hand.

“Right, okay, sorry…”

“And stop apologising! This has already been the best date I’ve ever had, your mum invited me to your house to see her teapot collection!”

“You are something else!” laughed Lemon as she gently nudged Priyanka’s side. As the taller girl turned to face her again, their eyes met, and the world felt like it had stopped. They looked at each other intently, communicating only through a stare. _Oh my god is this it?! Is she gonna kiss me? She looked at my lips oh my god she is! But she’s not moving… Fuck Priyanka, do something! Should I just do it? What’s even happening right now?_ Time was standing still as they stared at each other, but when Lemon saw Priyanka’s eyes dart to the side to look inside the restaurant, she felt her heart drop. 

With a sheepish smile, Priyanka cleared her throat. “We should probably go inside, in case…”

“Yeah, dinner, of course.” It took all of Lemon’s energy to remain upbeat in that moment, but when she felt an arm slipping tightly around her waist as they walked towards the door, all of her fears melted away into Priyanka’s touch.


	12. A sofa bed and a park bench

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been Lemon’s absolute favourite date yet: after a conversation-packed dinner, the pair had gone on a shopping spree at a late-night pharmacy, before taking their snack haul back to Priyanka’s apartment, where her roommate was thankfully away for the week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am back! I promise I will start updating more quickly, I recently started a new job and I am rather stressed! I hope you enjoy, thank you all again for the wonderful comments! 💛💛💛💛💛

_Good morning sunshine! I hope you slept well!  
There’s some fruit and cereal in the kitchen, plus tea, coffee etc. Leave your dishes in the sink, don’t worry about them!  
Thank you again for such a lovely night! Text me later xxx  
Ps. The door locks itself after you leave.   
Pps. Your hair is still awesome!!!! _

At the bottom of the note, Priyanka had written her phone number beside a crudely drawn picture of a lemon with a smiley face and hair. Grinning and twirling a strand of her newly-dyed bright yellow hair between her fingers, she fell back against the pillows and let the butterflies in her tummy take over. It had been Lemon’s absolute favourite date yet: after a conversation-packed dinner, the pair had gone on a shopping spree at a late-night pharmacy, before taking their snack haul back to Priyanka’s apartment, where her roommate was thankfully away for the week. They’d managed to dye half of the bathroom yellow, along with most of Lemon’s hair; they’d watched Legally Blonde; and they’d cuddled. But then, that was all. Lemon obviously wasn’t determined to end the night in a sweaty tangle with the other woman, but she thought things might have naturally developed that way, given how quickly they had seemed to hit it off. Instead, at the end of the movie, Priyanka had awkwardly suggested that Lemon stay over so her mum wouldn’t get suspicious, before pulling out the sofa bed and giving her a spare toothbrush and a pair of flannel pyjamas. The only thing that could have been considered any sort of action was a tiny kiss on the cheek and a pre-emptive goodbye hug, before Priyanka closed her bedroom door, leaving Lemon fully alone.

_Am I not hot enough? Did I scare her?_ Lemon was still at a loss to understand the anticlimactic end to the evening when they had gotten on so well, she didn’t think she’d laughed so much in a single night in months. The teacher oozed charisma out of every single pore, drawing Lemon in, even when she wasn’t trying. As she re-read the note, admiring the way the letters looped around the plain white sheet, she saved the number in her phone, making a mental note to text Priyanka later that afternoon: she had already decided very early on last night that she wanted a second date, and she would do whatever she could to make it happen. Letting her eyes drift around the living room, there wasn’t much to see, even after opening the curtains and letting the daylight stream in. There were various photos, some framed, some not, stuck on every wall. Lemon’s curiosity got the better of her, admiring the pictures above where she sat. The one constant in each was Priyanka’s bright, toothy smile, totally stealing the show from anyone else in the frame. One, however, immediately caught her eye. Priyanka was in the middle of a well-dressed group of girls in what looked like a fancy hotel lobby, and directly to her side was an all-too familiar blonde pixie cut. _Oh, of fucking course she knows Scarlett! People weren’t lying when they said the lesbian Tinder bubble is small, but come on!! Did Scarlett tell her anything about Saturday to put her off me? I wasn’t that bad, surely?!_  
Crossing her legs underneath her in her makeshift bed, Lemon rested her hands on her knees and exhaled. She was still far from mastering the art of stopping her anxiety getting carried away, but she could still try. _Lemon, chill, she gave you her number! She went along with the whole fake girlfriend thing! She’s working today, she didn’t even touch any alcohol last night, stop overreacting! Maybe she even likes you so much she didn’t want to make you think it would just be a one night stand, now wouldn’t that be something?!_ Finally, after some motivational inner-pep talking and quasi-meditation, she managed to drag herself upright and got to work on folding the sofa-bed back up. It was on her fourth attempt to push the legs down that she heard the vibration of her phone.

**Kyne Tynder [10:03]** SOS MAYDAY HELP WHERE ARE YOU???

Lemon had so many questions, but decided it best to save them for when Kyne wouldn’t reply to them in all caps. Hopefully it could wait until she googled the instructions for the impossible contraption in front of her.

**[10:03]** Coffee in an hour?

*****

“And then what did you say?”

“Yes!”

Kyne looked like she hadn’t slept in days, her normally coiffed dark hair was now in a limp ponytail, her new bangs - courtesy of Lemon - clipped on top of her head. She nursed her paper cup with both hands, looking tiny in a giant grey fleece, the complete opposite to her usual self. Lemon was still trying to understand why she was so stressed. 

“So, she likes you back, and she asked you on a date. I’m struggling to see a problem?”

The younger girl groaned loudly as she shrunk further into the park bench where they’d been sitting for the last thirty minutes. “What do I do now? I’m just going to disappoint her once she gets to know the real me.”

Lemon knew this panic well. She had experienced the exact same all those years ago, only worrying about how things could go wrong if she took a chance on dating her closest friend, rather than looking forward to what could potentially go right. But she barely managed to break that habit by herself, let alone help someone else to do so. Instead, she decided to do her best to help Kyne by simply stating the facts.  
“Kyne, why would she be disappointed? She’s endured living with you for around a year, she voluntarily hangs out with you outside of your apartment, and she was moaning your name even while she was sitting on my face. I think she knows you well enough by now!”

Even in her insecure state, Kyne had to giggle at the memory, especially the thought of Lemon’s awkward expression at the time. “But that’s just sex, I can do that! I’ve never been in a real-life adult relationship before, Sprite! That’s what she’s going to expect, and I don’t know how to do that!” She leaned over to rest her head upon Lemon’s shoulder, to which the blonde responded by wrapping an arm around her. They sat in silence for a while, watching some birds hop around on the grass, listening to the dull hustle and bustle of the city behind them. Kyne, never being one to enjoy the peace for too long, was the next to speak again, her voice a tiny whimper. “I love her so much, what if I completely fuck it up?”

It was only then that Lemon looked down and realised that Kyne had been weeping onto her jacket the whole time. She spun around on the bench, rubbing both of Kyne’s shoulders as gently as she could through the thick material. “How could you fuck it up? You’ve already told her how you feel, that was the hard part; now the fun stuff starts!”

The younger girl pouted, lifting her head so she could meet Lemon’s eyes. “Really? Cause this isn’t exactly enjoyable, Lem, with all due respect.”

“Of course it is, you get to do everything you’ve been hoping for and fantasising about together! Like snuggle on the sofa or make out in taxis or just lie in each others’ arms all morning.” The blonde couldn’t hide the quiver in her voice, so she kept quiet, focussing on the repetitive pattern of her breathing, determined to not let her thoughts get carried away again. She still hadn’t received any reply from Juice, and she was convinced that she had now blown any chance of ever seeing her again. And now that Kyne and Kiara were partnered up, and Priyanka didn’t want to sleep with her, what hope was there? What did she even want anymore?

“No, don’t you dare cry! This is my moment!” Kyne wrapped the dandelion-haired girl in a hug, sheltering her from the breeze which swept through the park.

Dropping her head, Lemon bit the inside of her lip until she tasted the familiar metallic tang. She shuffled her feet below her, inwardly deciding if opening up would be too stressful.   
“Sorry, I’m honestly really happy for you. Being in a relationship with your best friend is the best feeling in the world.” 

With a tiny glimmer of a smile, Kyne further tightened her grip on Lemon. “But…?”

“But…” she began, “don’t take her for granted, you’ll just regret it forever.”

Kyne could read Lemon like a dot-to-dot book, although it wasn’t exactly difficult to guess what she was thinking at that moment. The dancer had fully opened up to her new friend after her last interaction with her ex, unable to keep her sizzling adrenaline to herself. Kyne was the only person she knew in the whole world who wouldn’t judge her for using a dating app, nor using said app to communicate with her ex. “She still not replied?”

“Nope,” she replied, fully popping the end sound. She looked to the other girl, whose deep, opaque eyes wordlessly urged her to say more. “I don’t want to get back together, don’t get me wrong, but I still care about her, you know? We still share friends, I don't want them to feel weird, or for her to feel like I don’t want to see her anymore.”

Kyne sighed, laying her hand on top of Lemon’s on the smooth wood between them. “She probably doesn’t know what she wants either; don’t forget, you broke her heart as much as she broke yours! You’ve gotta just leave her to it and accept whatever she chooses. It was brave enough of her to message in the first place.” Biting her lip, she smiled. “Hell, I wouldn’t have even matched with you if you were my ex!”

Leaning her head to the side to rest it on top of Kynes, Lemon sighed, grateful for the girl’s straight-talking approach: for someone with so little experience with relationships, she was surprisingly wise. “Thanks, Kyney.” The pair stayed on the bench, content as the cold breeze skimmed against them. “So, do you know what the plan is for tonight?”

“Not a clue”, lamented Kyne, once again accepting Lemon’s arm around her shoulders. “In an ideal world, we’d just order pizza and fuck- OW! BITCH!”

Lemon laughed at the excessive reaction to her ear flick, not letting Kyne move an inch as the girl tried to spring away. “You’re a big girl now, baby, you’re going on a real, grown-up date! Don’t forget to ask her questions!”

“You are such a fucking bitch, I don’t know why I ever wanted to keep you around,’ Kyne grumbled, but she couldn’t conceal the gleeful tone behind her angry words and she settled back down into Lemon’s side. “Are you working tonight?”

“I am!” grinned the blonde, “Intermediate jazz and two hours of beginners tap, I’m so excited! I’ve choreographed a whole routine to the Macarena!”

Shaking her head, Kyne looked into Lemon’s eyes again. “You’re lucky you’re pretty, because you are pure evil!”

“Well, lucky for you, Kiara called ahead to book you both a place! I’ll see you at 7, cutie!” Lemon stretched her legs, relishing the cracking of her hips and knees before she attempted to stand with Kyne, who was still grimacing at Lemon’s last comment.

“I will murder you both in your sleep, don’t think that I won’t!”


	13. An invitation, or two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello folks! The next few chapters are going to be rather long, but they'll hopefully be here soon! For now, here's lucky 13 :) I know I say this on every chapter, but I really really love all your comments, you've all made me so happy! 
> 
> Also I have a few days of quarantine ahead of me, because *~*somebody*~* with covid dared to be in my vicinity, so my trusty track-and-trace app has ordered me to stay at home. So remember to stay safe, and I'm always here (@mermelada-de-mariposa on tumblr!) if you need a chat or a vent or some cat pictures ❤️

Bit by bit, Lemon knew she was getting better. Today, she had woken up with the urge to go for a run, something she seldom did even before her break-up. Pulling herself up the stairs once she returned - 6km and a cramping thigh later - she fell straight onto her bed. The endorphins raced through her body, spurring her on to tell Priyanka all about her athleticism - she was sure she’d send a sarcastic message about how impressed she was, adding to the multitude of texts they had already exchanged over the last 24 hours. But when she unlocked her phone, she was surprised at the only message which greeted her.

**BLH 💃 [14:43]** Hey boo! How are you? I heard through the grapevine you got a teaching gig, congrats! I’m planning some drinks and nibbles at mine on Friday for Nessa’s birthday and you are obviously invited, but I wanted to give you the heads up that I’m also inviting Juice. I’ve warned her you’re invited, so it’s your call if you want to come or not, I couldn’t just not invite you one of you X

This, now, was a dilemma, which truly perplexed Lemon. _I love Vanjie, I love Brooke, of course I want to be there. But do I want to be there with Juice? Do I want to let my guard down in front of her, especially if she’s sober? I could stay sober too, I’m working the next morning after all, but would it be too weird for everyone else?_

Maybe it was her dehydrated brain, or maybe she was just feeling uncharacteristically brave from her exertion. But that’s when Lemon decided to get back on Tinder and take a risk.

**[15:32]** Hey, are you going to BL’s thing? You can say no of course, but I don’t really feel ready to see you in a busy social situ yet and pretend that we’re cool. How do you feel about grabbing a coffee beforehand? But no pressure at all obviously, if you’d rather I didn’t come on Friday I won’t xx

_And now, we wait._ Although she knew she wouldn’t get a reply until Juice was back from work, or uni, or whatever her schedule was for today, she kept refreshing the app. She knew she would only drive herself mad, but she just couldn’t stop, the range of potential replies from her ex - or lack thereof - leaving it impossible to wait patiently. She had to be prepared for every scenario: positive; negative; or nightmarish. As her heart rate accelerated, she recognised that she couldn’t stay on her bed for much longer if she didn’t want to end up crashing. Humming _O Canada_ under her breath, she waddled to the bathroom and sat under the warmth of the shower until her hands shrivelled. 

Upon returning, she made an effort to completely dry herself and get dressed before even looking in her phone’s general direction. That was easier said than done, however, as the screen illuminated on the bedside table. Especially when, upon closer inspection, it was a notification from the very app she hoped it wasn’t. Lemon only managed around forty seconds of to-and-froing before leaping to her phone and reading what it had in store for her.

**[16:13]** Ola ola, Lemmy 😊 I know Kyne has already told you everything but I wanted to tell you too! (btw thank you for helping her, she actually managed to communicate last night!) We decided to try dating and see where it goes 🥰 soooo I will delete Tinder 😱 but I’d still love to hang out as friends, if you do? X

Although she knew this was coming, Lemon still emitted a loud groan. _Even when she’s rejecting me, she’s still sweet; what the hell, Kiki?!_

**[16:15]** Yey! I’m so glad it worked out! I’d absolutely love to be friends, send me your number! 🙂 xx

Not sure if it was too much or too little enthusiasm, she sent the message anyway. She knew this would happen, and she knew she should be happy for them, but just like yesterday, she felt a pit in the bottom of her stomach. Was she the worst Tinder-user in the world? Why was everyone she hooked up with now dating someone else? She should probably text Kyne and ask how it went, but to be completely honest, she wasn’t in the mood for fluffy romantic chat. Again, needing to distract herself, she slid into her fluffiest pyjamas and made herself a cup of hot chocolate, ready for a relaxing night of playing The Sims. If her real life wasn’t going to plan, at least she could make the virtual lives she controlled suffer as well.

After a lot of whirring, her laptop finally blinked into life, but before Lemon even had the chance to load her game, the all-too familiar ringtone of Skype started echoing through her bedroom, and the smiling, not-so-naturally tanned face of her cousin illuminated the middle of the screen. Timing had never been Cheryl’s forte. Sucking in her frustrated pout, Lemon answered the call.

“Hiiiiii, Cheryl.” If she sounded annoyed, she didn’t care, this little reunion was eating into her self-care time. 

“RIGHT, my little Lemon meringue pie, HOW have I not heard anything about this new girlfriend of yours?!”

All Lemon could do was close her eyes and take a deep breath. Of course her mum had told Cheryl, she was so excited, so she shouldn’t blame her. But she knew she _definitely_ couldn’t pull the wool over her cousin’s eyes, especially not since she’d met her fiancée on the very same app. Not that they’d admitted that to anyone other than Lemon, though.   
“Well, it’s a funny old story actually, she’s definitely not my girlfriend.”

“Oh, you, stop being shy! Your mum said she’s hardly seen you this past fortnight, just put a label on it and move in together already!”

“Chez, the girl my mum thinks is my girlfriend is not my girlfriend, I’ve only actually met her once!”

The beaming smile through her screen finally fell, Cheryl’s entire face furrowed in confusion. “Then why-”

“I’ve been on Tinder.”

A moment of realisation developed on her cousin’s slightly pixelated face. “Ah! Oh my god, you little minx!” Lemon prayed that her internet connection wasn’t good enough to convey just how red she was going, she still couldn’t understand why the thought of people knowing she was using a dating app embarrassed her so much. Maybe she was more embarrassed for herself, everyone knew she’d never been one for casual flings. She was extremely grateful that Cheryl didn’t tease her as much as Jan and her other friends had. “Well little miss Pri deserves an Emmy because your mum is totally convinced, she had me googling wedding sarees and everything!”

Shaking her head, Lemon comically slapped her forehead with her open palm. “She is unreal, I don’t know how I’m going to break it to her if it doesn’t work out.”

“Oh, so you want it to work out, do you?” Her cousin’s smirk drove her crazy, and she kicked herself at her slip-up. 

“I mean, she’s awesome, we hit it off, but then we didn’t even sleep in the same bed that night, so who knows.”

Cheryl rolled her eyes, tutting dramatically. “Of course you didn’t, babe, I believe you!”

With that sort of reaction, she definitely didn’t. “No, seriously! Last week I slept with three times more women than I have in my whole life, but for some reason, Priyanka didn’t even try. We’re still texting but I don’t know what happened!”

Before the bleached blonde could open her mouth to reassure her cousin, a voice from offscreen shouted across to her. “She’s just not that into you, Lem!”

Cheryl huffed, turning herself around in her seat to confront her future wife, when instead the redhead jumped over the back of the couch and leaned straight into the camera, squealing as she could only assume Cheryl attempted to push her away. Lemon couldn’t help but laugh at their interaction, with only the tiniest tinge of jealousy. When would she find someone who looked at her like they looked at each other?

“Hey, Blu, how’s it going?”

“Much better now that I get to see you, gorgeous lady! So tell me more about this bitch who won’t fuck you!”

“Babe, they’ve been on one date! And I’d rather not hear about my cousin engaging in such _vulgarity!_ ” Cheryl was speaking through gritted teeth as she fought to regain control of her iPad, much to both Lemon and Blu’s amusement. 

“Make her wait ‘til at least the third date, Lemon, or else she might end up asking you to marry her!”

“Oh, as if you didn’t instigate it all!” The loud yelp at the end of the sentence meant that Cheryl had finally succeeded in kicking Blu off the sofa, so she held the tablet close to her face, not wanting to risk any further intrusion. “Well, hon, at least you’re still speaking to her! Ask her on another date, watch a film or something, get cozy, you know what I mean?”

The very suggestive tone of her cousin’s voice was not lost on her. “Yes, I do in fact know what you mean, I’ll see what happens. What worries me more is that basically everyone I’ve gone on a date with is now coupled up with someone else, when will it be my turn?!”

“You’ve only been single for what, three months?”

“Two and a bit,” squeaked Lemon.

“So enjoy it, girly! You’re a completely different person now from who you were before she-we-no-longer-speak-of, now’s your chance to figure it all out!”

“And get mad pussy!” Blu’s accented voice in the background had her laughing; meanwhile Cheryl’s pursed lips and furrowed brow were not doing anything to help her stop.

“And if you’re still single by next May, Gothy’s standing by!”

“You know, I wouldn’t be mad at all!” Cheryl’s friend Gothy had taken a bit of a shine to Lemon when she had visited London last year, and although she was sad to be apart from Juice for a fortnight, it was quite fun to entertain a bit of flirting. It wasn’t serious, right? “So anyway, how’s the wedding planning going?”

Cheryl spun the iPad round to finally let Blu back in the frame, where she stood behind her fiancée, miming a gun to her head. “Well, we were literally just talking about calling the whole thing off and doing it in Vegas, weren’t we babe?”

“I don’t even have the excuse of it not being legal anymore! I don’t know how people manage it, I am so stressed!”

Lemon watched the couple in awe, laughing along at their daft but clearly very loving interactions. It had been over a year since she’d stayed with them in Essex, and about six months since Cheryl had crashed at her apartment for two nights while on a quick break from touring. As she remembered the laughs and heartfelt moments they had shared, she thought back to how well she and Juice had gotten along, how the three of them had even joked about hosting a joint wedding. _I wonder if Cheryl would get on as well with Priyanka? They’re both big balls of energy, would it be too much? Will she ever meet her? Wow, I am in deeper than I thought!_ And the longer the conversation went on, distracting Lemon more and more from her ex, the bigger the shock she received when Cheryl and Blu finally said their goodbyes, leaving Lemon alone with her phone. 

**[18:48]** Ok. Tomorrow lunchtime work for you? Arturo’s?


	14. The reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tiny bell above the doorframe chimed to announce her entrance, and that’s when her eyes met hers for the first time in nine weeks. She slowly began the walk to what used to be their usual table in a cosy, dimly-lit corner, taking in nothing but the face ahead of her. Juice had clearly watched the same _‘makeup for meeting your ex’_ tutorial as Lemon this morning, but most shocking of all, her round face was now framed with a wavy, black bob. As she pulled out the chair across from the other woman, she heard her clear her throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you like this chapter! The next one is quite long as well, but it'll be here as soon as possible! Thank you for all the comments and love, you are all wonderful!! Also I _may_ have had to stealth edit chapter 1 to make Juice a closer age to Lemon, because I'm a stickler for continuity!
> 
> Trigger warnings here for parental illness, implied sexual abuse, and anxiety-depression.

_This was a huge mistake. Why did I suggest this, this was never going to end well._ Lemon stared anxiously at the front door to the small café where she knew Juice was already waiting. _Unless she decided not to come. Why am I even here?_ She could just about make out the figure of the old Portuguese owner behind the counter, and she wondered if she could get away with running away now. This used to be her regular stop for studying or catch-ups with her friends. It also just happened to be the site of her first date with her ex. As her heart started feeling like it would give up completely, she bit her lip, and pushed the door open, right on time. The tiny bell above the doorframe chimed to announce her entrance, and that’s when her eyes met hers for the first time in nine weeks. She slowly began the walk to what used to be their usual table in a cosy, dimly-lit corner, taking in nothing but the face ahead of her. Juice had clearly watched the same _‘makeup for meeting your ex’_ tutorial as Lemon this morning, but most shocking of all, her round face was now framed with a wavy, black bob. As she pulled out the chair across from the other woman, she heard her clear her throat.

“I like your hair.” Juice spoke like it was a simple fact, without a single trace of emotion in her voice. Maybe this would be more painful than Lemon had initially feared.

“Thanks, I like yours too.” Lemon placed her bag on the shelf next to the table, resting her trusty beige coat on the back of the seat, and stepped around to sit down across from the girl she would have once sat closely beside. 

The high-pitched voice spoke again, still seemingly laced with nonchalance. “We really went full cliché lesbian break-up, didn’t we?” In an attempt to hide her laugh, Lemon put her hand over her mouth as she pulled herself closer to the table. But as Juice finally cracked a smile, relief washed over Lemon, helping feel a tiny bit more relaxed. “So, let’s get down to business. How are you?”  
  
Sighing, she thought of how she could answer such a deceivingly simple question. Sure, she’d been in a fairly good place recently, but she didn’t want Juice to think she was exaggerating or trying to put her down. Nor did she want to publicly air her frustrations with her recent dating experiences. So, she kept it simple. “Yeah, fine, you know, getting by.” She looked up at the dark-haired girl again, taking in her freckled face as she perused the menu, despite the fact she definitely knew every single item on it from their hundreds of previous visits. Her skin was glowing healthily, and despite her casual sweater, Lemon could tell she had made an effort. She could only hope that she looked equally as put-together.

Still looking down, Juice answered with a knowing smirk. “A little birdie told me you had quite the night on Saturday!”

Frozen, Lemon gulped in shock. And when Juice finally looked up and into her eyes, she had the impossible task of disguising the panic spreading upon her reddening face. Playing cool with Juice was never her forte. “I, uh, I mean, how…?”

“A lovely girl called Scarlett from Tinder was telling me all about her birthday party!” 

Lemon’s face immediately dropped. “Oh…” 

“No, shit, that sounded really mean, I’m sorry!” The girl in front of her quickly became flustered, looking at Lemon with wide eyes. Lemon didn’t miss the slight tremble of her hands on the table. “Sorry, I meant that to be funny, in a _isn’t it a small world_ kinda way? I didn’t tell her how we knew each other, I mean, I said we were friends but I didn’t go into any more detail, ‘cause I didn’t want to make things weird… She didn’t say anything bad, it sounded fun! I was sad I missed it!” 

_Her voice still does that squeaky thing when she’s nervous, and she still talks at 200mph when she’s trying to explain herself. She’s still just Juice._ The warm shiver travelling through Lemon’s bones stopped her mind getting carried away, especially as she squashed the images of her and Scarlett from her imagination. Could she make it through lunch without falling in love again? Although right now, she wasn’t entirely sure that she’d ever fallen out of love. They sat facing each other without words, throwing only quick, shy glances at each other, the tension between them undeniable as the owner came to take their orders - _I could’ve guessed she was gonna order that_. Juice spoke up again after a few moments, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

“Did you really go home with two doctors that night?”

 _What the hell did Scarlett tell her? What are they even doing together? Wait- why does she even want to know? Is that her jealous face?_ Juice’s face was indeed questionable, her lips moulded into a thin pout as her gaze lingered on Lemon. Her reaction now could change the course of their entire reunion.  
“Technically, one of them’s a surgeon… but it wasn’t like that. I was way too drunk to look after myself, so they had to babysit me all night; third wheel, go me!”

And at that, doing nothing to quell Lemon’s suspicions, Juice’s face lightened up. “Oh, right, I mean, when Scar first told me, I thought it was pretty impressive, but that makes more sense, sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, it’s a funny story, it was the craziest night I’ve had in a long time…” Lemon knew she had to steer the conversation a different way before she got stuck on a trip down memory lane of some of the wild nights they’d experienced together. “Anyway, how are you? You look really well.”

The dark hair girl sighed, taking her smoothie from Arturo with an _obrigada_ as he presented the drinks tray to them both. “Thanks, but I’m not gonna lie, it’s been tough.” 

Lemon watched her stir her drink around glass methodically, staring into the whirlpool she had created. _This_ , she supposed, _is the part where I get left feeling like shit_. Juice raised her head and met Lemon’s eyes, continuing upon her ex’s tiny nod over her iced latte.

“One of my professors referred me to the campus mental health emergency team a few weeks ago, because I wasn’t holding it together as well as usual, apparently.” As much as Lemon wanted to interrupt with apologies and words of affirmation, she knew she couldn’t. She’d stewed in her version of events for months; this, now, was Juice’s time. “I’d stopped thinking and feeling anything, it was like I’d turned into a machine. But then, a couple of weeks ago, it clicked. I was burnt out, so then you were burnt out, and we were both unhappy. So this was our chance to regroup and move forward. And now we’re both here, talking, and I don’t actually feel as emotional as I thought I would. Which is nice, I guess, thanks for suggesting this.”

“Yeah, of course, it’s like closure, isn’t it?” Despite the words that came out of her mouth, Lemon didn’t feel like she was getting any of the closure Juice was talking about. Her heart sank at the confirmation that the previous chapter of her life was well and truly closed as far as Juice was concerned. What did she even mean by _‘burnt out’_? Did they go through the same breakup? For Lemon, it was more of an explosion. 

Juice smiled sweetly across from her, and Lemon couldn’t tell if she could sense the sorrow behind her smile, or if they’d drifted apart so much that her former lover was completely oblivious to her true emotions. “Any luck with Tinder, then?”

This was not the kind of conversation Lemon wanted to have today. She’d hoped that they could talk about where things went wrong, how they felt now, or how to move forward to keep things light and not grotesquely awkward for their mutual friends. How could Juice just sit there and so casually ask, essentially, if Lemon had moved on, as if she wasn’t battling against a typhoon of emotions inside.   
“Umm, I’ve been on a couple of dates, but I’ve basically ended up making friends.”

“That is just so typically Lemon!” chuckled Juice, her tongue poking out between her teeth. As much as Lemon wanted to pick apart all her statements, she knew there was absolutely no malice behind any of her words. She was being… friendly? This was the same teasing she had subjected Lemon to back when they were still friends, before… well, before they stopped being _just_ friends. “Not that I’ve been any better, though. I’m still a long, long way away from another proper relationship.”

Before Lemon could dig any more into what Juice had just admitted, Arturo came back with their plates of food: a Portuguese roll with fries for Lemon; and a chicken salad for Juice, her go-to for the days when she was working at the gym. Without thinking twice about it, Lemon spun her plate around so her fries were closest to Juice, for easy access when the blonde - well, former blonde - decided that she did, in fact, want to treat herself to some carbs. And just as expected, Juice’s hand was immediately stretching over to steal a handful for her own plate, both girls carrying on with their meals as if it were two years before.

Some minutes of eating in silence passed, and Lemon was torn. She was so relieved that things weren’t awkward and they had seemed to slot right back into a normal-ish routine, especially since she had been bracing herself for tears and shouting and storming out of the café. But on the other hand, she still felt like they were on totally different pages: Juice was behaving like they’d never stopped being friends; but Lemon still felt tense every time she opened her mouth. So many questions still flew around her head, and she didn’t think she could be truly content unless they were answered. Surely she deserved some clarification? She waited until Juice was on her last few leaves, and readied herself to dive in. 

“Can I ask something, Juicey? A serious question? About us?”

The brunette looked up with her fork still in her mouth, a thin veil of panic peeking through her eyes. She hummed affirmatively in response. 

Taking a deep breath, Lemon thought of how to best articulate what she had been so desperate to know for so long. “When you… were worried about me cheating. Or, when you were looking through my phone and stuff. How did that start? Why didn’t you trust me?”

Juice stabbed the last slice of pepper on her plate a few times, before giving up and sitting her fork down on top of the round china. She tightened her lips and bit her cheeks from the inside, which Lemon recognised as her _‘serious thinking’_ face she had so often pulled whenever they studied together. To Lemon’s surprise, she didn’t look upset as she answered. “It wasn’t so much that I was worried about you cheating…”

“Go on?” The dancer could now feel her heart beating through her rib cage. She was as nervous right now as she would be before stepping on stage for an audition, as the answers to their failed relationship were finally within reaching distance.

Juice, meanwhile, had moved her plate to the side and was leaning over the table, fidgeting with the skin around her thumbnail, her thinking face back on. “Do you remember that showcase you did, back in June? The one where your grandparents came and we all went for cocktails at that fancy hotel afterwards?”

Lemon nodded. She remembered that night perfectly, she had been in pure ecstasy. Her grandmother had bought her a giant bouquet of yellow roses, her dad had cried in the audience as she took her final bow, and it would be the last time Juice had ever come to watch her perform. 

“Once you’d come out front after the show, when we were all milling around with champagne, feeling fancy-” Juice paused, the words catching in her throat. Lemon’s hand instinctively shot across the table, gently squeezing her ex’s. They observed each other intently, Juice extending the tiniest smile Lemon’s way, before dipping her gaze and continuing. “The manager, choreographer, whatever his title was, the boss man. I saw the way he was looking at you. And he saw that I saw the way he was looking at you. And he came right up beside me, like, really close…” Juice gestured with her right hand, her left still resting in Lemon’s, who was watching intently. “And he whispered to me, and I still remember exactly what he said, _‘such a waste, but I can still try.’_ Then he walked over and hugged you and your parents got pictures and everything. And the fucking creep winked at me.”

Lemon was shocked at this new revelation, she had been so absorbed in her post-show adrenaline rush and seeing her family that she hadn’t picked up on anything untoward at all. “But Juice, I’m very gay, you know I’d never-“

“I know, of course I knew that! But it lit a match. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m sure you’ll agree, you could be a little… oblivious, sometimes.” 

_She does have a point there, I guess..._ But Lemon still didn’t quite understand where this fit in with the constant arguments and lack of trust. Seeing that the yellow-haired girl across from her was about to interject, Juice carried on. 

“You didn’t realise that Chelsea, the Dutch exchange student, didn’t actually invite you to her dorm to watch Netflix and chill, remember? And remember the guy from the coffee shop who complimented your leggings and asked for your number, and how you didn’t understand all the dick pics you got in return? Hell, you didn’t even realise that I had a crush on you for years until I explicitly told you on our first date at this very table!”

That last memory made Lemon’s eyes start to well up. She stared at their hands, still laying together in the middle of the table. But despite the emotion, she still felt like she hadn’t received a satisfactory explanation as to why they broke up. “Ok. So then what?” she urged, her voice cracking. 

She could hear Juice sniffle, apparently experiencing the same wave of nostalgia. “I just didn’t want anything bad happening, Lem, I wanted to protect you. And that’s not an excuse, I know, and I am honestly so sorry. But I became obsessed. Or _hyper-fixated_ , as my therapist would say. I was googling the guy, and reading stories about dance teachers abusing their students in different countries, and I spiralled, between worrying about you and finals and trying to afford our rent and my dad in the hospital, I just… I’m so sorry.”

 _Oh. Fuck._ Lemon’s body may have been on autopilot as she moved across to hug the sniffling girl in her chair, but her mind was frantically ticking like a room full of cuckoo clocks. _How could I forget about her dad being sick, fuck, stupid fucking Lemon! Could I have been a worse girlfriend? Probably not. Fuck, and now she’s the one apologising?! She was burnt out. And I did absolutely nothing. I’m the bad guy; how did I not realise this before? This is all my fault._ It was all coming back to Lemon, her girlfriend silently running around their apartment in the afternoon, changing into her gym clothes for her personal training job in the evening, setting up her books on the coffee table to study once she’d come home that night, and grabbing a banana or a cereal bar to eat on her detour to the hospital to visit her dad. But she never left until she’d given her girlfriend a kiss. She never appeared to be stressed or struggling emotionally, but that was just Juice, she was never one for talking about her feelings, and Lemon never pushed her. Today was a first. And now, Lemon thought about how she must have felt that day in summer when she came home from her second job at the mall, rushing around to put together her things for the evening, and realising that half of their wardrobe was empty and Lemon was nowhere to be found. She remembered the frantic voicemails she never answered, and the mountains of messages she never read. Before she could think anymore, she felt the strong grip of Juice’s arms around her, pulling her in to rest her head in the crook of her neck. She still smelled of the same fruity perfume.   
“No,” she croaked through her own tears, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realise any of this, if I’d known… I was too focussed on me, I was... I’m so sorry.”

Lemon was crouched very uncomfortably next to Juice’s chair, so when she felt the shorter girl pull her closer, she didn’t resist. She sat herself delicately on Juice’s lap, wrapping her arms around her neck and embracing the warmth which radiated between them. She didn’t dare think about what the scene must’ve looked like to the other people in the café, but she didn’t care. She was with Juice. She was safe. She heard Juice’s shuddered breaths beside her, and wished they could be back in their old bedroom, cuddled together under a blanket, forgetting everything else in the world.

“I still love you, Lemmy.” Juice’s breathing had become louder as she took control, her breaths in and out setting a relaxing rhythm. “But we just aren’t meant to be together. And it fucking sucks right now, but it’s okay.”

Lemon, meanwhile, was still struggling. Her chest hurt as she held in her sobs, her vision virtually non-existent as she avoided blinking for fear of the flood she would create. She understood exactly what Juice had said, but she had no way of formulating a reply. She was clinging to her ex like a koala to a tree, afraid of falling down. Juice smoothed her hand down the back of her head, all the down to her tailbone. 

“I’m gonna go and pay, then let’s take a walk, okay?”

*****

The sun was illuminating the pavements as they strolled along the streets of their old neighbourhood, hands in pockets, looking straight at the road ahead. Lemon was still counting her breaths, but she was proud of herself for managing to stop crying before it developed into a full-blown panic attack. Things with Juice, as they walked side by side, were simultaneously relaxed and strained now that more things were out in the open. The familiar buildings seemed to blend into one as Lemon attempted to decelerate her racing mind. It would take a long time to come to terms with the fact that she wasn’t actually the victim of the end of their relationship, as she had led herself to believe. It had been much easier that way. But as she looked across to the shorter girl, her pink scarf matching her cold-flushed cheeks, she was pleased that they’d taken a step towards moving forward. Perhaps they could even go back to being friends again one day.  
  
“How’s your dad?”

“He’s doing okay, thanks, better.” Juice took a deep breath. “He’s back home again now, the doctors seem to think he’s improving, so we’ll see.”

“I’m really glad to hear that.”

“Thanks.” The short girl smiled sincerely at Lemon, her aqua blue eyes twinkling in the afternoon sun. “It actually worked out, moving back home. Now I don’t have to worry as much about him and mum, and I can take their car whenever I need. How’re your family doing?”

“Yeah, they’re all absolutely fine, thanks, the same as always. Lil Lime is loving life in Halifax!”

“Aww, I’m so glad, I knew he would! And how about Jan and Jackie and everyone else?”

Lemon smiled back at Juice, feeling warm at the knowledge that Juice still cared about her life and her friends. Not that she was ever in any doubt after today.   
“All good, although Jan and Jackie got really drunk last month and slept together.”

“WHAT?!”

“They don’t know that I know, but I literally walked in on them in the living room, I wanted to rinse my eyes with bleach.”

“Oh my god… but doesn’t Jan have a boyfriend?!”

“Yep.”

“And is Jackie still seeing whatshername in New York?!”

“Yep! So things are preeeetty awkward.”

“You know, I always thought there was a weird tension there! I love when I predict things correctly!”

Lemon would be lying if she said she hadn’t missed this. Chatting to Juice was just so easy, much easier than any of her dates recently. She’d been the only person she’d wanted to tell about her other friend’s bombshell, because she was the only person who Lemon knew could make light of the situation, despite the potential repercussions. They didn’t have to make awkward small talk about themselves, they already knew everything there was to know about each other - on the surface, at least. Things were so - dare she say it - _normal_. Yet her heart still felt heavy as she remembered everything that had been revealed earlier.

“About what you said earlier, Juicey…”

“What part?”

“That we can’t be together. I agree. It’s really, fucking shit, but it’s for the best.”

“Yeah…” The dark haired girl’s whole face sank, prompting Lemon to reach out to place a hand on her shoulder.

“I still love you too. Nobody else has even come close.”

Juice chuckled sadly. “It’s only been two months, Lem, it’ll take time. Maybe Brooke or Nessa will have invited some eligible bachelorettes tomorrow night to help us out!”

Both girls smiled solemnly at the thought. Nobody had ever said that moving on would be easy, but Lemon had certainly hoped it wouldn’t be this hard. While she’d previously thought that the process might be easier after today, right now, lost in the twinkling orbs of Juice’s eyes, she realised that she had, in fact, landed way back at square one.

“I really am so sorry about everything, I’d been avoiding thinking about what I dick I was, I really wasn’t good to you, so I can only apologise again and again.”

“No, I’m sorry, me and my communication issues and stress and anxiety fucked everything up, I’m sorry for forcing you away.”

Silence hung thickly in the air between them as they approached the subway station, knowing that their time together was once again drawing to a close. Overall, Lemon was content with how things had gone. They’d cleared up her main issue about their breakup, they’d established that they could, in fact, maintain a civil relationship, but most crucial for Lemon was knowing that she wasn’t alone in still having feelings for her ex. It was normal. Although she still couldn’t tell if the fluttering feeling in her stomach was just down to nerves for tomorrow night, or if they were replacing the similar flutters she’d had when texting Priyanka that morning. Juice was still just as funny, just as pretty - and sexy, she had to be honest -, and just as kind as when they’d initially been together. Why had everything changed? Her inner pondering was interrupted by the sound of Juice’s voice, although she had no idea what she had actually said.  
“Huh?”

Juice’s eyes and nose crinkled as she laughed, while she fidgeted on the spot. “I said I’m really glad we did this, thanks for asking me. It was nice.” Lemon stared at her ex-girlfriend, taking in her awkward foot shuffle and shy expression. If this were a first date, Lemon would have no hesitation in going in for a kiss right now, even Juice’s expression seemed to be suggesting it. But there was no way she could do that. Was there?

“Yeah, I’m glad we did too, I’ve missed you. I mean, like, speaking to you, and stuff.”

Juice was laughing again, the soft melody really not helping Lemon’s overload of feelings. “I’ve missed speaking to you too. So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, tomorrow, it’ll be fun, I’m sure!” Both ladies stood for a while, looking nowhere but at each other. Once again, Lemon’s inner voice was not being logical at all, telling her to make a move or invite Juice back to hers, or even just ask her out again. Her internal battle finally ended when Juice spoke up again.

“Well I better go, I’ll see you tomorrow, Lemmy!” As she turned to walk through the doors of the station, Lemon’s voice spoke before her brain had a chance to catch up.

“Juice, wait!”

As the brunette turned back around, Lemon froze again. What was she even thinking? “Umm, I’ll unblock your number, just in case, you know.”

Lemon breathed a sigh of relief as Juice smiled back at her again, rolling her eyes and shaking her head light-heartedly. “Thanks, Lem. I promise you won’t get any booty calls!”

And with that, Juice turned back on her way, practically skipping towards the entrance. Lemon, meanwhile, was more confused than ever.


	15. Another party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _9pm ish. I’m not late late, I’m just fashionably late. Juice will have arrived ages ago, so there’ll be enough people there to buffer things. Priyanka’s probably already there too, I wish I could’ve gotten ready with her, stupid work. I wonder if she’s mentioned anything to Brooke yet…_ Lemon was so deep in thought that she barely noticed her mum pulling up alongside the red-bricked apartment block.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hola mis amores! Firstly, apologies for the delay in this chapter. I've been struggling with a little-known virus called Covid, and it has been absolutely shit. 1/10, do not recommend, please do what you can to avoid it at all costs. But massive thanks to everyone who's sent me lovely messages 💛💛 Secondly, thank you again for all your wonderful messages about the fic! I hope you enjoy this next chapter! My inbox is always open for comments, suggestions, and complaints! 💛💛💛

_9pm ish. I’m not late late, I’m just fashionably late. Juice will have arrived ages ago, so there’ll be enough people there to buffer things. Priyanka’s probably already there too, I wish I could’ve gotten ready with her, stupid work. I wonder if she’s mentioned anything to Brooke yet…_ Lemon was so deep in thought that she barely noticed her mum pulling up alongside the red-bricked apartment block.  
  
“Now, Lemon, promise you’ll call me if anything at all happens that you’re not comfortable with, no time is too late!”  
  
While Lemon had admitted to her mum that most of her nerves tonight were because Juice and Priyanka would be in the same room, she may have forgotten to mention that she had met up with Juice yesterday. She knew it wouldn’t do her any good: in fact, it may have been easier to tell her mum she’d been using Tinder than reveal that she had hung out with _her_. Regardless of how Lemon felt now, she knew her mother would never forgive Juice for the pain she caused her over the last few months.  
  
“I will, don’t worry, mum. I’m not drinking anyway, so it’s not going to get crazy cray cray.”  
  
As she leaned down to pick up her handbag, she felt her mum’s hand rest on top of her forearm. “I know, I know, I just worry about you and her being in the same room, are you sure it’s not too soon? What was Brooke thinking?! At least Priyanka will be there, just stick with her! I’m sure Juice will be really jealous!”  
  
Simultaneously sighing and rolling her eyes, Lemon laid her head back against the car headrest in disbelief. “I’m not trying to make her jealous, mum! I’m just going to avoid her as best as I can, without making everyone else there feel weird.”  
  
“Okay, well text me when you’re on your way home anyway, or on your way to Pri’s, let me know how things go!”  
  
“I will, don’t worry.” She smiled at her mum, her mind now abuzz with a new selection of thoughts. _Maybe Juice will be jealous; is that a good thing or a bad thing?_ “Right, better go, thanks mum! See you later!”  
  
“Have fun, princess! Give Brooke and Vanjie my love!”

Pushing the car door closed, she skipped across the pavement to the heavy brown entrance to the apartment block, which had been unofficially propped open for the evening’s festivities with a brick. Ascending the stairs one by one, Lemon tried to summon all of her party-girl energy from previous years to guide her through the evening. She didn’t know any of Vanessa’s friends from work, but she suspected she’d have to get used to their company if Juice has commandeered most of their mutual friends. And then there was Priyanka, who had excitedly text Lemon last night to tell her that Brooke had invited her entire pilates class to ‘make up the numbers’. Maybe tonight would be the night where they finally crossed the line, their texts had become exponentially flirtier recently… As long as she didn’t do anything to upset Juice. They were cool, and she didn’t want a single wrong move to make Juice feel like she was showing off or rubbing her nose in it. But then she also didn’t want to spend too long alone with her ex-girlfriend, for pure fear of doing something she’d immediately regret. _Unless Juice wanted to as well... No, Lemon, stop, that would never happen... But what if it did?_ After far too much of a workout in such high heels, she arrived at the top floor, the front door held open by a giant plant draped with a happy birthday banner. Shaking her legs to loosen up her muscles again, she took a deep breath and stepped into the party.  
  
  
***

  
The room was busy, Lemon had no idea how so many people had even managed to fit into the tiny loft. As she hung her coat on the rack behind the open door, she scanned the room for anyone she recognised, immediately seeing Brooke’s tall, blonde head bobbing about amongst the rest of the anonymous faces. Looking around one last time, she decided her former dancing colleague was her best option, so she shuffled forward through the masses to get to her. Just before she reached her, however, she felt herself bump into somebody’s elbow, sending their handbag flying onto the floor. As Lemon turned with apologies spilling out of her mouth, she couldn’t believe who she saw.  
  
“Lemon?!”  
  
“Oh my god, Rita, I’m so sorry! How...? What are you...?”  
  
The taller blonde chuckled merrily as she stood up again, pulling Lemon into a quick hug. “Vanjie used to work with us before she moved to the bright lights of paediatrics! What about you?!” Lemon carried on staring in disbelief as Rita twirled a strand of her poker straight yellow hair between her fingers. But before she had the chance to say anything, she was pulled roughly into another hug from behind her.  
  
“Lemon! Have you, uhh, met, uhh, Rita?”  
  
Trying to hold in her laughter at both the terrible French accent and Rita’s subtle eye roll, Lemon finally freed herself from the vice-like grip of a very drunk Brooke Lynn. Staying sober tonight was probably a good idea.  
“I have met Rita, thank you, Brookie poo! Rita, Brooke and I have been friends since we were, what, five?”  
The yellow-haired girl was pulled into yet another rib-breaking hug, Brooke mumbling something into her ear, but Lemon understood absolutely none of it. Her eyes darted around the room, searching for an escape plan. Unfortunately, there was none. “So how’re things with you, Rita? How’s Jimbo?”  
  
It was only then that Brooke Lynn loosened her grip and started to walk away, muttering something about _‘more gin’_. Rita only smiled at Lemon awkwardly, before taking a step closer so nobody else could hear. “We’re all good, but Vanessa announced earlier that she and Jimbo used to have a _thing_. So I don’t think Brooke Lynn likes us very much.”  
  
Breathing through her teeth awkwardly, Lemon could remember Brooke and Vanessa’s tumultuous first year together, complete with constant break-ups and reunions and side flings and a tonne of jealously which was still following the couple everywhere they went. Rita was just one of the many to find themselves entangled in it. “Wow, the world keeps getting smaller! But don’t worry about Brooke, she just takes a while to warm up. Is Jimbo here, then?”  
  
She didn’t miss how Rita’s eyes lit up as soon as she started talking about her new girlfriend, but Lemon definitely wasn’t jealous. Not a chance. “She is! She’s over there somewhere being sociable, you caught me just as I was sneaking out to smoke.”  
  
The world was indeed small, Lemon had literally just said it herself. So she definitely shouldn’t have been surprised when she looked in the direction Rita was gesturing and saw the tall woman with her comically-large chest, laughing along with Lemon’s pint-sized, newly brunette ex-girlfriend. She tried to keep her face straight, but instead she accidentally vocalised the long line of expletives which popped into her head.  
“Rita, that’s Juice she’s talking to! As in, my ex, Juice!”  
  
Rita’s face contorted in a moment of realisation as she wrapped her arm around Lemon’s waist and pulled her away from the crowd they were standing in. “Shit, Lemon, did you know she would be here? We’re leaving soon if you need to escape?”  
  
“No, no, don’t worry, thanks though. I’ll be fine. We, uh... we actually met up yesterday to prepare for tonight.” Rita’s grimace really wasn’t her feel better about yesterday. “Honestly, it was okay! I think we’re cool now!”  
  
The Québécoise was still eyeing her suspiciously, preparing to open her mouth until she was interrupted by a kiss on the cheek from her side. “I thought you were going to smoke, babe, what’s- oh, hey Lemon! How’s it going?”  
  
“Tu viens de parler avec son ex, you idiot, comment tu penses que ça va?!” Rita looked furious as she whisper-shouted, and Lemon knew she shouldn’t be remembering the last time she’d seen such fire in the Québécoise’s eyes, but what was a single – and quite honestly, lonely – girl to do? At the very least, it was nice to know she had someone still in her corner tonight.   
  
Jimbo, meanwhile, only looked confused. “Who? Julia? She used to be my crossfit trainer!”  
  
“Yeah, but she’s also my ex.” Lemon’s eyes flickered over to where Juice had been standing, almost disappointed that she had been replaced by two girls with overly-filled lips and terrible taste in alcohol.  
  
“The cunt ex? Was her name not Juice or something? How do you... oh. I bet your name’s not actually Lemon either, is it?”  
  
Tittering at the epiphany happening before her, Lemon shook her head while trying to stop Rita sending another tirade her girlfriend’s way. “It’s fine, honestly, just unexpected. I’ll be fine!”  
  
“Are you sure, Lem? You know you can leave with us if you want?”  
  
While she knew Rita was trying to be nice, it was impossible to not notice Jimbo’s possessive arm snaking around her girlfriend’s waist, or her sudden pout at Rita’s suggestion. She would have needed a death wish to actually take her up on the offer.  
  
“Thanks, but seriously, I’ll be okay! I better find Vanessa though, before anything gets too crazy!”  
  
Rita pulled her into a warm hug, rubbing her hand gently along her back. Lemon didn’t dare look at Jimbo’s face. “Okay, we’ll we’re probably gonna sneak home now, we’re working early tomorrow. But text me if there are any problems!”  
  
“Thanks, Rita, I appreciate it. Hey, let me know when you’re next off, we should hang out!”  
  
“That would be lovely! Have a great night, mon petit citron!” Rita’s wide smile was juxtaposed by Jimbo’s neutral face, even as she leaned over for a very awkward hug with minimal contact. She bid farewell to them both, secretly flattered by Jimbo’s apparent jealousy, but now, she was alone again. She looked back over to where Juice had been earlier, the two girls there now dancing with all the grace of inflatable tube men. She decided to take a slow walk to the kitchen area, praying nobody would judge her for pouring herself a glass of water. As she got closer, she caught a glimpse of Vanessa, sitting on a countertop, although she didn’t look happy. And once she was close enough to hear her and her partner over the dull chatter and unrecognisable lo-fi music in the background, Lemon felt more than a little bit uncomfortable at the argument she was interrupting.

  
“She is all over you, Brookie, how can you not see it?! Just tell her to stop!”  
  
“She’s my friend, Ness, am I not allowed to hug my friends?! Does that mean I should be worried about Jackie too, hmm? She flew all the way from New York just for tonight, and don’t think I haven’t noticed the canoodling!”  
  
“Oh of course, the canoodling, are you high, B?! Jackie has a girlfriend, clingy pilates girl only has her eye on you!”  
  
“Get a grip, Ness, and I told you, her name’s- Lemon! Hi again!”  
  
Vanessa, looking relieved at the interruption, jumped straight off the counter and ran towards Lemon, throwing her arms around her tightly. Brooke, meanwhile, rotated unsteadily and marched with purpose back into the masses. “I’m so glad you came, Lemmy! I’m so, so happy to see you!”  
  
As the pair swayed dizzily, Lemon realised that Vanessa was probably even drunker than Brooke was. “Happy Birthday, Nessa!” Awkwardly handing Vanessa the tiny gift bag she’d been carrying – making Vanessa scream in delight and hug her again – Lemon tried to figure out how to best spend the rest of the night, without getting caught up in unnecessary drunk drama. “So, how’s your day been?”  
  
As Vanessa’s pearly white grin began excitedly recounting a list of people and places from her birthday, in a seemingly random order, Lemon’s head turned when she heard someone new enter the area, turning on the tap to her side. When Juice caught her eye, the soft smile she sent Lemon’s way made her so weak at the knees that she almost forgot to return it. That definitely wasn’t a good sign. Thankfully, she padded back into the main space before Vanessa could notice that Lemon hadn’t been paying attention. “Oh, and Jackie’s here! Did she tell you? Let’s go find her!”  
  
Letting herself get pulled through to the other side of the apartment, her gaze once again landed on Juice, who was chatting to a couple of men Lemon had never seen before. And as her stomach twisted when their eyes met for the second time, Lemon knew she had to find a distraction immediately.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Finding a distraction in the form of Priyanka was, as luck would have it, much easier than Lemon had thought: the tall girl was sitting cosily beside Jackie on the grey couch in the corner of the loft, her flowery purple dress and wavy hair instantly making Lemon’s cheeks flush. When she caught sight of Vanessa and Lemon approaching, however, the dark-skinned woman didn’t look excited to see her at all. In fact, as soon as Lemon opened her mouth to greet the two girls, Priyanka excused herself and walked away. With Lemon and Jackie sharing a puzzled look, Vanessa quickly launched herself onto Jackie’s lap, clinging to her tightly and whispering into her ear. Lemon quietly tiptoed to where Priyanka had sat, fishing her phone out her purse to find out just what the hell was going on. In another stroke of perfect timing – _or we’re just in such perfect sync_ – the other girl had just text her.  
  
**Miss Priyanka [22:06]** Sorry Lemmy, Brooke’s girlfriend absolutely fucking hates me and idk why. Meet me by the snack table?  
  
Craning her neck around, Lemon couldn’t see Priyanka or the elusive snack table anywhere. Typing out a frustrated reply, she received a new message.  
  
**Miss Priyanka [22:07]** P.S. You’re the only snack I want rn, that dress is so fucking hot  


_Tonight is definitely the night._ Lemon had spent an eternity deciding what to wear once she’d ran home from the dance studio, and she was so glad that option number six - a skin-tight blue mini dress - had had its desired effect. She was more than ready to take this up a notch.  
  
**[22:07]** If you think that’s hot you should see what’s underneath 😇  
  
Lemon scanned the room again, still not understanding how someone so breathtaking could apparently vanish in such a tiny apartment. But as she prepared herself to stand up and do a loop, Vanessa’s slurred yelp awoke her from her fantasies.  
  
“Lem, tell Jackie to cheer that perky little butt up and come dance!”  
  
Jackie’s knitted brow and sorrowful expression told Lemon that Jackie did not want to be pushed any further, but Vanessa wasn’t backing down, still pointing her finger as she scurried away back into the middle of the room. Things between Jackie and Lemon were never this awkward: she could tell her friend was definitely going through something, especially if the almost empty bottle of wine at her feet was anything to go by. Priyanka would understand that her emotional support was needed elsewhere for a bit, surely? Starting small, Lemon attempted to clear the tension. “So, how long are you here for, Jacks?”  
  
“Umm, just for the weekend, I flew in this morning.” Her lips were pursed and she hadn’t looked Lemon in the eye once since the yellow-haired girl had shuffled closer to her. In spite of Lemon’s inner debate as to whether or not she should bring up the obvious elephant in the room, she decided to play oblivious.  
  
“Oh, cool! Are you crashing here?”  
  
Jackie bit her lip and looked around nervously, finally meeting Lemon’s gaze worriedly. Seemingly satisfied that nobody would overhear, Jackie sighed. “No, I’m staying with Jan.”  
  
_Does she know that I know? Would it make her feel better to know that I know?_ “That’s awesome, she didn’t say! We should all hang out tomorrow!”  
  
“Yeah, umm...”  
  
Lemon recognised that tone, as Jackie fidgeted with her fingers. The dancer gently placed a supportive hand on top of Jackie’s, rubbing her thumb lightly so calm her friend down. “You know you can talk to me about anything, Jacks.”  
  
After a minute of thinking, Jackie blew a raspberry Lemon’s way as she shook her head. “So... last month, the last time we all went out together, Jan and I... kissed.”  
  
Lemon barely stifled her snort. “Jackie, I walked in on you doing a bit more than that on her sheepskin rug. It’s okay!”  
  
From Jackie’s sudden gasp and watery eyes, Lemon knew she’d be here a while. Pulling her friend into a tight hug as her loud sobs escaped her, she once again looked around for Priyanka, at long last catching a glimpse of the other girl sipping from a red plastic cup next to Brooke Lynn. At least Lemon didn’t have to feel like she’d abandoned her. Stroking the dark hair by her face robotically, she waited for the crying girl to speak again.  
  
“Has Jan said anything to you?”  
  
“No, doll, she hasn’t said a thing. Neither have I.”  
  
All Lemon could do at this point was slowly rub Jackie’s shoulders as she clung to her, shushing her interspersed shivers and wails with as much reassurance as she could manage. Realising that she wasn’t going to get anything useful – or coherent – from her friend for a while, Lemon closed her eyes, resting her head against Jackie’s shoulder. Eventually, the bespectacled brunette sighed and relaxed her hold on Lemon’s waist.  
“Her boyfriend’s gone on another tour for six weeks. I’m her side piece until he’s back.”  
  
Wiping the tears from Jackie’s face with her finger, Lemon bit the inside of her gum. She was terrible at giving advice or consoling people, especially while completely sober, and now she was faced with a situation that could completely destroy her closest group of friends from high school. Usually Juice was the best one at talking things through and finding positive solutions, and it saddened her to think that tonight, she’d have to help Jackie alone. Nevertheless, she tried. “Okay... So is that a good thing, or...?”  
  
When Jackie’s face contorted into yet more ugly crying, Lemon was out of ideas. She wrapped her arms around her once again, whispering what she hoped were reassuring words into her friend’s ear. At one point, she could’ve sworn she saw Juice stare directly at her, but once she blinked, she was nowhere to be seen again. She had no idea of how many minutes had elapsed by the time Jackie pulled herself upright again, drying her own tears with the sleeve of her black cardigan.  
“Sorry, it’s just so...” The girl groaned desperately as she threw her head into the back of the couch, finally giving Lemon space to shift her weight off of her now numb leg. “Nicky’s in New York, being a good girlfriend, not suspecting a thing. And then I’m here, the biggest bitch in the world, fucking my best friend. But for some reason, I don’t want to stop doing it, what is wrong with me?”  
  
This was miles out of Lemon’s comfort zone, she had never experienced such a thing before. Despite all their problems, she had never, ever considered cheating on Juice. Well, at least not seriously. She’d never actually contemplated acting on any of the invasive feelings she’d had about other women while they were together, but doesn’t everyone get those? Pursing her lips together in thought, her eyes wandered back to the middle of the room, where Priyanka looked to be having the time of her life, dancing right in the middle of a group of people Lemon didn’t know. Her dark eyes were focussed on the ceiling as she spun without a care in the world, and as much as Lemon wanted to be a good friend, she wished she could be there right now, gripping onto Priyanka’s waist as they bounced around, holding hands, getting closer... Until a loud snivel kicked her back to reality. _Jackie needs me now, I’m a good friend, I can do this. Priyanka will still be here, she’s not a bitch, she’ll understand._ Rummaging through her bag, Lemon eventually found a clean tissue, which Jackie greatly received, crying again at the gesture. The girl in blue mentally readied herself for more emotions.  
  
“You’re not a bad person, Jacks.”  
  
Jackie, however, only shook her head and snivelled more into her hankie. “I’m supposed to be going to Marseille for Christmas, Lem! I’m spending two weeks with the family of the girl I’m cheating on! How does that make me not a bad person?!”  
  
“Okay, I admit, cheating isn’t great. But Jan’s cheating as well! You’re not the only one responsible for this.”  
  
“We’re both terrible people who deserve each other in hell!” Lemon just patted Jackie’s head as she fell back into Lemon’s shoulder. She cursed herself for having to work tomorrow, as there was no way she could survive a chat like this sober. Wondering why she actually came here, she now seriously regretted not listening to her mother earlier.  
  
“You both just need to have a serious conversation about what you are and what you want, and take it from there!”  
  
Hoping that she had finally made a breakthrough, Lemon turned her head to look at the snivelling girl beside her.  
“I don’t know what I want, Lem! I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”  
  
Pausing and looking into the dark, wet eyes ahead of her, Lemon racked her brain for a vaguely tactful response. “I think it’s a bit late for that, hon.” Judging by Jackie’s reaction of immediately welling up and bawling again, Lemon guessed that that was the wrong thing to say. There was a reason her friends never came to her for guidance. She therefore decided to take a different approach, running her fingers through Jackie’s scalp until she calmed down again, and wishing on the glistening disco ball above her that they would eventually move on so she could do something more fun. Like Priyanka. All Lemon could do was close her eyes and hope that Jackie would soon have a gold-star realisation and move on with life. _Does that make me a bad friend? Why can’t she sort her shit out faster?_ Even with her eyes closed, she could feel the presence of another person enter her space. Although she hoped it was her current favourite Tinder crush, here to save her and ride away on a white horse, the familiar sweet scent which floated into her nostrils gave it away.

  
“Hey, are you girls alright?”  
  
Lemon didn’t want to open her eyes. Why did she have to be so nice?  
  
“Yeah, we’re good, thanks Juicey, don’t worry.”  
  
She kept her arms gripped tightly around Jackie in the hope that Juice would get the message and leave them alone. But instead, she spoke again.  
  
“Vanjie just cut up some cake, I thought I’d grab some for the two of you before it disappeared. I’ll leave it beside you, Lemmy.”  
  
And sure enough, Lemon felt a slight tap beside her on the couch. She couldn’t tell what Juice was playing at, she must have an ulterior motive. Nobody ever brings their ex cake. But when she got around to opening her eyes, Juice was gone, invisible among the throngs of drunk, dancing people.  


_Well that was weird._  


Jackie, still crying, hadn’t even noticed Juice’s brief cameo appearance. Surely cake would help everything? Grabbing the paper plate (and one of the plastic forks Juice had left beside it, _because of course she thought about cutlery_ ), she tried her best to feed the sweet treat to her friend. And it turned out that once again, Juice had saved the day, Jackie’s tears stopping the second the layer of thick icing touched her lips. The woman in glasses hummed appreciatively as Lemon continued replenishing the fork and manoeuvring it to Jackie’s mouth as if she were a toddler.  
  
“Famks Lem, ou’re de best!” she mumbled between bites, looking and sounding upbeat for the first time since had Lemon had sat down with her. Relieved, Lemon handed her the plate with what was left of Vanessa’s birthday cake and sat back against the couch, stretching her arm around Jackie’s shoulders.  
  
“Wanna finish the cake and get our boogie on?”  
  
Mouth still full of cake, Jackie nodded excitedly.  
  
  
***  
  
  
After a lap of the living room, Lemon had tracked down Priyanka, who was gyrating provocatively against an unsuspecting man in chinos while Brooke took blurred pictures on her phone. As she steered Jackie towards the scene by her elbow, the brunette still eating cake, Brooke Lynn grabbed them both into a clumsy drunk hug.  
  
“You guys!” she squealed, possibly deafening Lemon for the rest of the night. “I love you both so much! I wanna get sexy!”  
  
Lemon ran her hand through her hair, some yellow strands sticking to her face as beads of sweat formed on her forehead. This was what she loved best about parties: being surrounded by the people she loved, dancing like no one was watching, and temporarily forgetting about everything bad in the world. She let herself be wrapped in Brooke Lynn’s embrace, swaying her hips in time to the dancey beat which pumped through her. She was free. She closed her eyes as her much taller dance partner spun her around, improvising every arm and leg movement in perfect rhythm, hoping that the one person whose attention she sought would notice. And when she opened her eyes, she felt brave enough to wink at the hungry mahogany eyes which were now focused on nothing but her from just a few feet away. However, before she could move any closer to Priyanka, something stopped her. The tiny hairs on the back of her neck stood up as she turned her head to the side, where she thought she had imagined the weight of another pair of eyes upon her. But sure enough, there _she_ was, in her tiny red crop top and sinfully tight denim shorts, unashamedly watching Lemon dance. She didn’t even try to pretend she wasn’t as Lemon slowed her movements, staring back at her on the sidelines. In a moment of bravery – or perhaps it was insanity – she gestured for Juice to join them in the middle of the room, knowing how uncharacteristically shy her ex could get in social situations. To Lemon’s enormous surprise, the brunette actually crossed the floor towards the group, instantly being clumsily intercepted by Brooke and thrown around in what vaguely resembled a waltz.   
  
  
Before she could think any more, her hands were picked up by Priyanka and Jackie, and she was joining in their skipping circle dance. A light squeeze on her left hand made her look up, noticing Priyanka’s smirk as she met her eyes again. Not letting go, Lemon twirled her on the spot, followed by Jackie, laughing as the taller girl shrieked upon getting stuck under Lemon’s arm. This was all she’d wanted all night, to dance with her friends and be next to her crush without worrying about what anyone else – well, Juice – thought. She lost count of how long they’d been dancing, Priyanka’s smile never faltering through the series of suggestive dips and spins Lemon aimed at her. She hadn’t even noticed anyone else join their cramped dancing circle. As Priyanka turned to use Brooke as a prop for her interpretation of sexy grinding, however, a voice boomed from behind them.

  
“Hey! Pilates! Get your own girl, have you met my friend Juicey over here?”  
  
_Oh no._

  
“Oh yeah! Juice and I already know each other _pretty_ well, actually!”  
  
_Oh fuck no, no no no no no._  


Sidling over to Jackie and whispering her excuses, paying no attention to the sensation of someone’s eyes once more burning into her, Lemon pulled herself away from the group, trying not to listen to the argument that was now unfolding between her friends. She strode straight through the congregation of dancing bodies, through the dark bedroom, and into the only tiny bathroom in the apartment. Sitting herself down on the toilet seat, she embraced the cool feeling of the tiles as she leaned her head against them. _It’s fine. They’re both on Tinder, what does it matter if they know each other? Apparently everyone knows everyone these days, and that’s just how it is._ But as hard as she tried, Lemon couldn’t convince herself that she was okay. Why had Juice been watching her all night? Why hadn’t she and Priyanka actually talked one-on-one? Well, the last one was easy: because Lemon didn’t want Juice to see anything that would make her uncomfortable, but maybe she should have listened to her mum and gone down the make-her-jealous route after all. Checking her phone, inwardly hoping that Priyanka had invited her to leave together or even just said something flirty, she was disappointed to see an empty screen. Weighing up her options, she realised tonight had been a mistake, in more ways than one. It just felt weird to be dancing in between her ex and the girl who was currently top of her wish list. And at that, she booked an Uber home. Seeing that it was still about 10 minutes away, she took her time to wash her hands and fix her makeup, planning how to best say her goodbyes to everyone.  
  
She opened the door and jumped at the same time as Jackie, who was standing far too close at the other side. At least that made her mission a bit easier.  
  
“Hey, Jacks, I’m gonna head home, I have work in the morning and I’m pretty tired.”  
  
Through her beady eyes, Jackie smiled warmly, extending her arms to hug Lemon. “Are you alright? I’m sorry I forgot to even ask how you were doing? Have you spoken to _you-know-who_ tonight?”  
  
Lemon sighed into her friend’s arms, she really didn’t want to talk about things anymore. She just wanted to cuddle Gus and sleep off this failure of a night. “Yeah, we hashed some things out, it’s a long story but we’re fine. Your drama was much more important though, you rascal!”  
  
The brunette gasped upon Lemon’s playful slap of her arm, tightening her grasp around the dancer’s torso. “Brooke and Nessa are in the kitchen going through it, I’m just biding my time until Jan’s done with work and can come rescue me.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” pouted Lemon, kissing Jackie’s forehead tenderly, relieved she was getting out of the situation before things inevitably escalated. “I won’t bother finding them then, tell them I say bye once they’re okay again! And say hi to Jan!”  
  
“I will, sorry again for all the tears!”  
  
“Don’t be silly, you did the same with me last month, it’s only fair we switch it up from time to time! Have a safe flight back on Sunday!” The girls smiled into another hug, before Jackie turned into the tiny bathroom, and Lemon set on her way. There was no sign of Priyanka anywhere in the living room, and the kitchen was definitely a no-go zone. Spinning around on herself, she decided to just leave and text her from the car, her feet were aching in her heels and she wanted nothing more than to throw on her pyjamas. Stepping towards the door, she grabbed her jacket from the floor – _why were people so lazy at sorting through the coat pegs?!_ – and took a step into the cold stairwell.  
  
  
And that’s when she saw it.  
  
  
Lemon thought she could throw up. Priyanka stood three steps from the top landing, her back against the white wall, her arms around Juice’s waist, her mouth... She couldn’t look anymore for fear of passing out. It wasn’t fair. Absolutely none of this was fair. Done with everything that had happened tonight, she charged straight past them and ran down the stairs as fast as her legs could take her, not letting any tears cloud her vision. She didn’t stop until she was out on the street, thanking every force of fate that her car was pulling up beside the curb right on cue. She didn’t dare look back as she jumped straight in. Not even as she heard that all-too familiar voice behind her, shouting her name.


	16. The aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonjour hiiii! Thank you for all the lovely comments about the last chapter (sorry again!), will Lemon make any progress in her next instalment??
> 
> Fun fact: I actually wrote two endings for this chapter because I couldn't decide if I wanted it to be happy or angsty, which did I choose?! Maybe one day I'll publish the alternative... Or re-release the whole fic as a Bandersnatch-esque moment! I hope you enjoy it! 💜💜

**Jackie 🐓🐓 [00:07]** Text me when you’re home safe. Thanks for tonight! xx  
**Jackie 🐓🐓 [00:14]** Just spoke to Juice. I hope you’re okay Lemmy. I’m here if you need to talk xx  


**Unknown (Maybe: Julia Primeau) [00:19]** Hi Lem, you’ll have probably blocked my number again by the time you get this, I don’t blame you. I honestly had no idea about you and Pri and I’m really sorry you saw what you did, but I promise there’s absolutely nothing between us. It was a moment of complete madness, in hindsight I shouldn’t have come tonight, I’m so sorry for everything. I tried telling her that you’ve probably turned your phone off, but she’s desperate to fix things, she really, really likes you. Please direct all your anger at me, not her. I hope you manage to work it out. I’m sorry. J x  
  
  
**BLH 💃 [00:38]** Where are you you missed the cha cha slide :(  
  
  
**Miss Priyanka [00:03] Missed Call**  
**Miss Priyanka [00:04] Missed Call**  
**Miss Priyanka [00:04]** Answer your phone Lemon pleasee  
**Miss Priyanka [00:04] Missed Call**  
**Miss Priyanka [00:05] Missed Call**  
**Miss Priyanka [00:05]** Lemon I am SO SORRY  
**Miss Priyanka [00:05]** I didn’t know about u and juice she just told me   
**Miss Priyanka [00:05]** We met on tinder a few times but that was it  
**Miss Priyanka [00:06]** Way before we matched  
**Miss Priyanka [00:06]** No dates or serious things  
**Miss Priyanka [00:06]** Tonight was completely stupid, I really fucking like you  
**Miss Priyanka [00:06]** You disappeared and I was confused and in my feelings  
**Miss Priyanka [00:09]** I’m sorry x  
**Miss Priyanka [00:09] Missed Call**  
**Miss Priyanka [00:09]** Answer your phone pleaaassee i ned to speak to you  
**Miss Priyanka [00:13]** Where did you go??  
**Miss Priyanka [00:13] Missed Call**  
**Miss Priyanka [00:34] Missed Call**  
**Miss Priyanka [00:34] Missed Call**  
**Miss Priyanka [00:47] Missed Call**  
**Miss Priyanka [00:55]** please talk to me tomorrow lemmy I’m sorry xx

**Kyne Tynder [00:57] Missed Call**  
**Kyne Tynder [00:57]** A girl called Pri I used to hook up with just called and asked if you were with me?? Are you okay?? Do you need an alibi??  


  
**JUST Jan [02:12]** 💜💜💜  
  
  
**Vaaanjieee 🧡 [02:49]** Thank you fr coming tonight!!!!!!  
**Vaaanjieee 🧡 [03:54]** Love ya girl!!!!!!!  
  
  
**Dr Rita 💙 [06:48]** I hope you had a good night, Lemon! It was great to see you again <3 I’m off on Tuesday and Wednesday if you’re free? Let me know! :-) x  
  
  
Switching on her phone had been a mistake. When her mum had woken her up this morning, realising she was at risk of being late for work, she leapt into action, throwing on a sports bra, some leggings and a hoodie - which she really should give back to Rita soon - and ran out the door, incredibly grateful that she wasn’t asked anything about the previous night. She knew she must have looked a mess: she couldn’t remember what time she fell asleep, but she must have still been crying. And now the floodgates were at risk of bursting again as she pieced together what probably happened after she’d left last night’s party.  
  
Deep down, she understood that she couldn’t blame either girl for what had happened. Juice was single, Priyanka was single, and most importantly, Lemon was single. She had absolutely no claim to either of them, they were both in the exact same scenario as she was. She could imagine Priyanka and Juice getting on well, sharing jokes and funny stories and tidbits about their lives, so obviously they were more than allowed to still want to see each other and kiss or _whatever_ , Lemon had no reason to stop them…  
  
But then why did it hurt so much?  
  
Pushing her feelings down, she painted on her biggest smile for the class of hyperactive 8 and 9 year olds in leotards and tutus who were trickling into the studio.  
  
“Ok, everyone, get into two straight lines! Who’s ready to warm up?!”  
  
  
*****  
  
  
Lemon had no desire whatsoever to go home. She’d spent the best part of an hour hiding in the staff room after she’d finished teaching, doing unimportant admin tasks and replying to the texts from last night from the people she actually cared about. Once she’d arranged lunch with Rita, thanked Brooke and Vanessa, checked in with Jackie, and assured Kyne that she was still alive, she couldn’t find anything else to keep her occupied. The only thing for it was to begrudgingly return home and try to rebuild her life. Maybe it was time to get swiping on Tinder again.  
  
  
“Hi, sweetheart, how was work?” Her dad had swung the front door open before Lemon even had the chance to put her key into the lock, as if he’d been waiting for her. At least somebody still wanted her around.  
  
“Fine.”  
  
Lemon scurried inside as her dad reassuringly patted her shoulders, leading her towards the door to the living room. “Just fine?” All she could do was groan, she was tired and sweaty and definitely in no mood to expand on her day. “Well, you have a visitor. She’s been here a while, though, so you might need to save her from your mother.”  
  
  
And as they walked into the cosy front room, she was faced with a sight she definitely was not expecting. Her mum sat on the sofa with a cup of tea, and beside her, playing with an excited Gus, was none other than Priyanka. Lemon took in the scene in complete silence; to say she was stunned would be an understatement. Finally, her presence was noticed.  
  
“Lemon! Welcome home! Poor Priyanka thought you finished at 3, she’s been waiting for ages!”  
  
“You never told me you were cousins with Cheryl from Filth Harmony?! I am OBSESSED with them! It’s so funny though because now that I know, I can totally see the resemblance!” Priyanka was either an excellent actress, or emotionally blind and completely oblivious to how Lemon was feeling. The dancer could only stand in silence as her mum smiled at the girl she still thought was her girlfriend.  
  
“Even more exciting, Lemon’s going to be one of her bridesmaids next year!”  
  
“No way?! Damn, you’re gonna be surrounded by hot, single celebrities, I might as well give up now!”  
  
She was still mad at Priyanka. Furious. And the fact she’d invaded her home and personal space like nothing had happened was simply unacceptable. But it wasn’t hard to laugh along with her and her parents as she began rambling about her road trip to Montréal to see her cousin’s band on tour for the third night in a row. Lemon was just playing the game; she wasn’t actually enjoying the way the teacher made her own sound effects or threw her arms around to emphasise her points. Priyanka was just a very captivating storyteller, it had nothing to do with any change in her own feelings. As soon as they were alone, she was going to give the girl a piece of her mind. Finally, the conversation lulled enough for her to speak, not hiding her lack of enthusiasm in the moment.  
“Well, this has been nice and all, but I’m going upstairs now. Priyanka, are you coming?”  
  
Ignoring the knowing look her parents exchanged and Priyanka’s gulp as she stood up, Lemon turned around and stomped her way upstairs, a mixture of emotions swirling inside her. She didn’t want to end up crying pathetically on the other girl’s lap all night, so the only other option was to get mad.  
  
  
  
Swinging her bedroom door open, she paced angrily until Priyanka had caught up and closed the door behind her. As she opened her mouth, Lemon snapped.   
“Before you say anything: what the actual fuck? Why are you here?”  
  
Priyanka paused, her default toothy grin replaced with a very nervous frown as she rolled up the sleeves of her oversized cardigan. “You never replied to my texts, so I wanted to make sure you knew how I felt, and how sorry I am.” Anticipating Lemon’s next question as the yellow-haired girl inhaled, she jumped in again. “Juice gave me your address. She said you’d appreciate this more than a tonne of voicemails, which I’m also sorry for, by the way.”  
  
_Fucking Juice, of course she had to stay involved._ Lemon pulled her hoodie off as she continued pacing the carpet, backing the taller girl into a corner. “So what did you tell my parents?”  
  
Priyanka twirled her index fingers around each other, staring at her hands as she answered, like a child being chastised by their teacher. The irony wasn’t lost on Lemon. “I just said I wanted to check in after we had a bit of a misunderstanding last night, they didn’t push it any further. They’re both so lovely, by the way-”  
  
“Yeah, I know. Although I’m sure if they knew what the _‘misunderstanding’_ was, they wouldn’t have been quite so hospitable.” Was Lemon going in too hard? Part of her wanted to keep the fight going and get all her stress and anger out of her system, just as she used to do with Juice. She knew she had enough reasons to be mad. _I’m the one who’ll have to pick up the pieces when it inevitably all fucks up between Jan and Jackie. I’m the selfish cunt responsible for my last failed relationship, and I’ve been left behind by everyone on Tinder. My left calf has been sore all day and it really needs iced, but I can’t, because I’m having to babysit my pretend girlfriend, who apparently likes making out with my ex. Speaking of, why the fuck did Juice send her here, what is she playing at? And why am I still even thinking about that little bi-_ She couldn’t finish that thought. Juice wasn’t a bad person. And watching Priyanka, tears now cascading down her face and looking smaller than Lemon had ever seen her, Lemon knew she wasn’t either.  
  
“Lem, I am honestly so, so, sorry, I really wish last night didn’t happen.”   
  
  
If Lemon were really as cold as she was trying to be, the sight of a sobbing Priyanka cowering against her bedroom door, frantically trying to clear the wetness of her face with her fists wouldn’t have affected her in the slightest. But she couldn’t pretend any more. A choked gasp escaped her mouth, triggering her eyes to follow suit in releasing ugly sobs. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be upset, I just had a rough night. Don’t cry, c’mere.” Walking to sit on the side of her bed, she patted the space beside her, the other girl quickly accepting the invitation and sitting to face Lemon. _The fact she even came here is proof enough that she cares about you, just talk it out like a fucking adult._ With a sudden burst of bravery, she faced Priyanka, formulating the most mature way to ask what she rather she didn’t know, but knew they should probably talk about. “So, you and Juice… what’s the story?”  
  
Priyanka licked her lips and wiped her eyes again, focussing on the cream wall behind Lemon. “We matched on Tinder about a month ago. She said she was looking for casual, no-strings, rebound sex; and who was I to say no? And I won’t lie to you, it happened a few times. But one day, she called it off, and that was that, we never saw each other again until last night.” Lemon pursed her lips as she thought of how to reply, but Priyanka kept going. “And I totally understand if that’s weird for you, I get it, but it was literally _just_ sex, she didn’t even stay for a glass of water afterwards.”  
  
“Right… so then what about last night, there’s obviously still something there?”  
  
“Nooo!” jerked Pri, her jaw open, seemingly aghast at the suggestion. “Last night was awkward as fuck, I didn’t know she was gonna be there! We were trying to avoid each other, but then I was so pissed off at Brooke’s girlfriend and you kept disappearing with that crying girl, and Juice just looked like she wasn’t having a good time…”  
  
“So you decided to show her a good time?”  
  
“She kissed me! Well, I mean… it was mutual and consensual. I’d gone outside to order an Uber so I didn’t end up bitch slapping little-miss-jealous-pants, she saw it all go down and wanted to check on me… and it just sorta happened. And I really regret it, trust me, Lem, I really do!”  
  
Lemon stayed stony faced, trying to stay calm as she weighed everything up. “Would you have gone home with her?”  
  
Priyanka paused, before sighing deflatedly. “I dunno. I was drunk and emotional. I was sorta sad that you hadn’t offered, so I’d have considered it, yeah.”  
  
  
Now Lemon felt guilty again. “I wanted to, believe me, I really wanted to hang out with you last night and see what happened. But I felt super awkward with Juice there too, and then I had to look after Jackie, who’s one of my best friends and is going through a shitty time… but I got ready with you in mind, I only wanted to impress you. Things just didn’t quite go to plan, unfortunately.”  
  
They smiled at each other, and with a tiny bit of courage, Lemon slid her hand to rest on top of Priyanka’s. They stayed in that same position for a few minutes, the silence giving Lemon some time to relax and enjoy the feeling of closeness with the other girl. Priyanka’s next question, however, caught her off guard.  
  
  
“Just be honest with me, Lemon… Were you more upset that it was me, or that it was Juice?”  
  
Lemon felt her pulse speed up. Her throat was dry and her stomach was turning in every direction. There was a chance Priyanka might leave for good, depending on the answer. But she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what the answer was. Inhaling deeply, she decided to put her heart on the line and say the first thing that came to her.  
  
“Juice and I aren’t together anymore, Pri. And I know we don’t know each other very well yet, but I really like what I’ve seen so far, and I want to see where this goes.”  
  
Shaking her head, Priyanka’s chocolatey eyes stayed facing down, making Lemon’s heart sink. “Juice did come home with me last night, but literally just to talk. She told me all about you two. That girl still cares about you so much, Lem.”  
  
Lemon couldn’t help herself. “I guess your rebound sex wasn’t up to scratch, then?”  
  
But Priyanka wasn’t laughing. “She told me about Thursday, that you told each other you still have feelings for one another. She admitted she was hoping something would happen with you last night… She was under the impression that you felt the same. She was more upset that her mistake with me had blown her second chance with you.”  
  
  
_Fuck. That is… not what I was expecting. At all. Shit._ Letting the words sink in, Lemon knew she had to make a choice. She could cut off Juice again, start from scratch and move forward with Priyanka - that seemed like a safe choice, the kind of choice her mum and her friends would appreciate the most, and that would work out best for everyone in the long run. But knowing that there was still a window of opportunity with Juice, an actual, real chance to work things out and not just a figment of Lemon’s imagination… that threw a spanner in the works. But as much as she entertained the thought of reuniting, the overriding memories of their last month together played on repeat. They failed. Why would Lemon set herself up to fail again? Why would Juice?  
  
“Pri, I… Yeah, okay. Juice was my first girlfriend, my first off-stage kiss, my first everything: and I was 21 years old, Pri! All through school and college, I was so focussed on dancing that I skipped the stage where I had fun and dated and had my heart broken; Juice was that stage for me. And until last week, she was literally the only thing I knew, so of course I’m gonna cling to that for a while, the good and the bad! But we didn’t work, so now I’m out trying to learn the things that everyone else figured out years ago. I don’t want to still be tied to her, but she’s fucking everywhere I go, even with you! So I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do other than keep trying and hope that eventually I forget I ever loved her. And I’m trying, I’m really fucking trying! I really like you, I just… I wish I’d met you first.”  
  
  
As she let the sobs fall freely from her mouth, Lemon shivered as she felt Priyanka’s warm body move against hers, a hand gripping her upper arm. She instinctively turned her head into the slender girl, wrapping her arms tightly around her torso while she cried into her shoulder. The fingers sliding across her scalp grounded her, the rhythm eventually helping her find her breath again. Nuzzling her head closer into Priyanka’s collarbone, she heard the other woman sigh, before sniffing a few times and opening her mouth. “I get that, Lemmy. And d’you know what? I wish you had too.” Lemon managed a tiny smile through her tears, until Priyanka continued. “For what it’s worth, she feels the same. She wants to move on; and she wants you to move on. That’s why she told me to come here.”  
  
“Oh.” The puzzle pieces started clicking into place. While Juice may have been more experienced in lots of other things, Lemon was also her first serious girlfriend. It confirmed exactly what she’d realised when they’d met the other day: that they were going through the exact same thing, and Juice was struggling just as much as Lemon was. Her overthinking was stopped once more by the sound of Priyanka’s voice, still soft, but laced with intensity, leaving Lemon now feeling like she was the one on the end of a telling-off.  
  
“I like you, Lemon, I like you a lot. I like you so much I blackmailed my roommate so she’d stop talking to you on Tinder! But I’ll be honest: you’re never going to forget her. I’m not Juice, and it’s not gonna be exactly the same as when you dated her. But I won’t let myself become a stop-gap while you contemplate getting back together, so I need to know now if you’re serious.”  
  
Sitting up and wiping her tears, Lemon looked straight into Priyanka’s eyes. They were wet and puffy, but she was somehow just as beautiful as her Tinder pictures. In that moment, she knew exactly what she wanted. “I like you, Priyanka, I want to try.”  
  
  
As they held their gaze at each other, Lemon raised her hand and let it trace the outline of Priyanka’s face, tucking her soft wavy hair behind her ear. This was the closest she had ever felt to the other girl, but it already felt so natural. Her eyes dropped briefly to where Priyanka’s round lips had already parted, the thought of what would hopefully happen next causing her heart to race again, albeit for a much better reason than moments earlier. As Lemon leaned in, she felt the warmth radiating from the woman in front of her, and she could have sworn that every hair on her body stood on edge, anticipating her next move. Unlike their first date, there was no backing down now, and the microscopic distance between them finally dissolved as Priyanka tilted her chin up towards Lemon, their lips connecting timidly. Before Lemon even had the chance to think about how Juice had been in her place less than 24 hours ago, Priyanka’s hands had shot up to frame her face, instantly deepening the kiss. Any other ideas which were developing in Lemon’s head were melting away, the feeling of fireworks she had longed for finally jolting her into action as she moved her mouth in time with Priyanka’s, daring to tease her with the tip of her tongue. Before she could get carried away, though, Priyanka leaned back, but keeping herself well within Lemon’s space. Her voice was barely a whisper, as if she were afraid that any loud noise could dissipate the energy sparking between them.  
  
“Fuck, Lem, I’ve wanted to do that since Tuesday.”  
  
Allowing herself to breathe again, Lemon’s looked up through her lashes at her companion. Her kissing partner. Her Priyanka. “So have I! Fuck, Pri, why didn’t we?”  
  
“I didn’t want it to be just another date, I actually wanted you to know I was serious.”  
  
That was all the invitation Lemon needed to pounce again, pulling Priyanka’s face back in, before gently leading them both to lay down, their legs awkwardly dangling off the edge of the bed, but they didn’t care. Not when their actions were accelerating, their lips working together more clumsily and their hands moving haphazardly across their heads and bodies. As Priyanka’s fingers grazed the back of Lemon’s neck, the shorter girl couldn’t disguise the moan which fell from her throat, only spurring Priyanka on to bite down harder on the other girl’s bottom lip. Lemon felt like she could come right there, their legs wrapped together, their clothed bodies flush against her mattress. But as she felt Priyanka’s slender fingers slide further up her bare abdomen towards her sports bra, she was hit by a sudden wave of self-consciousness.   
  
  
“Pri, wait, stop, hold on!”  
  
Priyanka immediately jumped away, completely disconnecting herself from Lemon’s body. Her pupils were still blown wide with lust, but the rest of her face mirrored her worry. “Sorry! I’m sorry, are you okay? I got carried away, I’m sorry, you’re in total control.”  
  
Stunned at how receptive and understanding Priyanka could be, Lemon silently giggled to herself. “No no, don’t worry, I’m more worried that I’ve been dancing all day and could really use a shower, nobody needs to experience my second-hand underboob sweat!”  
  
The Priyanka she knew best was back, throwing her head back in laughter at Lemon’s panic. “Dammit, Lemon, that’s my biggest fetish! You dork, go and shower!”  
  
Leaning back in to kiss her, Lemon felt like she was floating. “Do you wanna stay over? We could order pizza and watch a movie? Plus you owe me a story about blackmailing your roommate, I’m intrigued now!”  
  
The sound of Priyanka’s manic laughter rang around the room again. “Okay, well long story short, we were talking about Tinder one day after work, and she showed me your bio and said you were really nice. But that was the day we’d also started chatting, so I had to bring up some embarrassing shit from 2015 to shut that down immediately.”  
  
Lemon racked her brain of all her previous matches and how they linked up. The photo with Scarlett in Priyanka’s apartment came to mind, but then she lived in a different part of town with Ilona; Kyne and Kiki are together; it definitely wasn’t Rita… “Boa?!” Priyanka nodded coyly. “Fuck, I was wondering why she disappeared, she was fun! You absolute bitch!” Despite her malicious words, something about what the other girl had just admitted put butterflies into Lemon’s stomach. Somebody actually wanted her _that_ badly? Laughing, she leaned into Priyanka again, holding their kiss for a good few seconds. “Right, make yourself at home, feel free to grab a drink downstairs, and you can choose a movie?”  
  
“I’m awful at choosing movies, you decide! But no horror, please, I’m a screamer!”  
  
“Jesus, do you ever think about what you’re saying?!” Lemon rolled her eyes theatrically, smiling as she thought of the long night she had ahead of her.  
  
Priyanka only grinned back. “No.”  



	17. A night together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batting her eyes open and closed a few times to adjust to the darkness around her, Lemon still couldn’t quite believe it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! So long story short, my Christmas plans have completely changed last minute (fuck you too, Boris), so I don't have the time I would have liked to perfect this chapter. SO it is shorter and cruder than I would have liked (and no doubt terribly formatted), but what can you do?
> 
> But finally, smut!
> 
> Hope you all like it, thank you so much for all the lovely comments! Hopefully I can get back on track with the storyline in the new year!
> 
> Stay safe, Merry Christmas, Hanukkah Sameach, Happy Solstice, Joyous Sunday, and a Wonderful New Year to everyone!

Batting her eyes open and closed a few times to adjust to the darkness around her, Lemon still couldn’t quite believe it. She could feel Priyanka’s smooth legs against her own and the warmth which radiated from her, an arm thrown loosely over her torso. The other girl was facing her, with her lips slightly parted as she slept. She looked so peaceful as her chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm under Lemon’s white t-shirt, still stained with tears after they had watched Frozen 2 in bed hours earlier. While Priyanka may have laughed at Lemon’s choice of movie - and the emotions it still stirred after what must have been her ninth viewing - she still let the shorter girl curl into her, stroking her yellow hair until they fell asleep with smiles and tiny kisses painted on their faces. Before, she had never been huge on cuddling or touching other people, but she had realised quickly that Pri was big on the physical side of things, so she let herself surrender into the safe feeling in her arms. Lemon could have lay there and watched the angelic vision in front of her sleep until sunrise if it wasn’t for the urgent pressure in her bladder reminding her why she awoke in the first place. Approaching it like tearing off a band-aid, she quickly whipped her legs out from under the duvet and propelled herself from Priyanka’s grasp, waddling out the door before the other girl hopefully noticed.

As she returned, however, it was clear that she wasn’t as stealthy as she’d hoped.

“You okay?”

Priyanka’s voice was squeaky as she let Lemon crawl back into bed beside her, locking her in place again with an arm and leg. She felt warm and comfortable and could have easily fallen back asleep, but the fleeting sensation of Priyanka’s pubic bone moving against her leg as the tall girl shifted behind her, separated only by the thin material of her underwear, made her want to do anything but. It had been so long since she’d done anything remotely sexual in her bed that didn’t involve her Sim couples - not since that time her mum had walked in unannounced on Juice using her- _No, Lemon, now is absolutely not the time to think about that!_ But as she turned to once again look into the starry eyes beside her, she couldn’t help herself. It was 4am, everyone else was definitely sleeping. And she’d been horny all week. 

Testing the waters, she languidly placed her lips onto Priyanka’s, inviting her to respond. Once the dark-skinned girl began lazily moving her mouth, Lemon introduced her tongue, deepening the kiss and leading the girl beside her to moan into her. Conscious of the fragile bubble they were currently in, she pulled away suddenly, holding her index finger to her pursed lips with a hush. “My parents are next door, Pri, we’ve got to be quiet!”

Fastening the imaginary zip on her mouth and throwing away the key, Priyanka grabbed at Lemon’s neck again, but not before she pulled off her oversized lilac pyjama top. She closed her eyes as their kissing accelerated again, relishing the unexpected patterns Priyanka’s long fingers were drawing down her back, around her chest, and through her scalp. At one point a thigh had slid between her own, giving Lemon a leverage to grind upon and chase any kind of friction Priyanka was offering. While she was normally an advocate for teasing and moving at a leisurely pace, the thrill of finally having Priyanka here was driving her wild; as was the need to be silent. It was clear her companion was in no mood to take her time either, Lemon feeling the heat from the woman’s core as she pushed her hips towards hers, craving contact as she bit down on Lemon’s bottom lip. With an exploratory hand, she walked her fingers along the waistband of Priyanka’s panties, gradually edging her hand further up under her shirt as she peppered wet kisses along her neck. Priyanka’s skin felt like the smoothest suede, and neither girl could contain their shivers as Lemon traced along the bottom of the slender girl’s ribcage.

“Fuck, Pri,” was all she could manage before Priyanka was leaning up to tear off her top, grabbing both of Lemon’s wrists and crashing them onto her breasts with enough force to propel them both backwards onto the matress. Picking up on the cue, the dancer immediately lifted her leg over the taller woman, still chasing her lips as she pushed herself down onto the other girl’s pelvis. Finally letting go of Lemon’s hands as her thumbs worked over her hard nipples, Priyanka’s hands immediately shot to Lemon’s bum, grabbing clumsily at the muscle rolling above her as she continued setting a steady pace.

“I knew you’d have the most perfect ass, my pretty girl.” Priyanka hissed through her teeth as Lemon broke their kiss, commencing her attack on her partner’s earlobe with her teeth. Bouncing slightly on top of Priyanka’s hips, she muffled her moan in the crook of Priyanka’s neck as the other girl grabbed harder, digging her nails in almost deep enough to leave marks. 

_Priyanka’s an ass girl, who knew? But Juice’s is much nicer than mine, I bet she- fuck, I’m doing it again, get back in the zone, Lemon!_

Grabbing a fistful of black hair, Lemon leaned back into Priyanka’s ear, whispering softly. “I’m your pretty girl, baby, I’m all yours.” Glimpsing at Pri through her lashes, she could see just how far gone the other girl was, her eyes welded shut in pleasure. Now she only needed to convince herself again. 

Tentatively, she dragged her other hand away from Priyanka’s breast and moved it to where their cotton briefs were moving against each other. Leaning forward, she began rubbing slow, tiny circles on her own clit, managing to put just enough pressure on Priyanka’s, judging by her sudden gasp. “Fuck, Lem, I need you so bad, harder, please!”

Teasing the girl below her with feather-light touches, she smiled onto the other girl’s mouth, secretly enjoying how Priyanka’s breath hitched and her eyes clamped shut. “What do you want me to do about it, doll?”

Priyanka bit her gum as she writhed underneath Lemon’s strong thighs, her mouth contorting into all kinds of shapes but no sound escaping. 

Pressing two fingers against her, Lemon was completely intoxicated by Priyanka’s neediness. She almost had to stop to chastise herself for feeling so giddy about being in control, but honestly? It was hot. And while she could never survive life as a full-time top, she was allowed to have her moments. Smirking down at the wriggling girl, she changed her fingers to stroke long lines up and down Priyanka’s centre, the hot dampness not going unnoticed as Lemon growled. “Cat got your tongue? Tell me what you want, gorgeous.” Hooking a finger under the thin elastic of Priyanka’s black panties, she slowly lifted it, Priyanka’s hips automatically raising with it. But as she let it snap back, Priyanka threw her head to the side, exhaling raggedly through her teeth at the sting.

_Thank god she’s not as strong as Juice, she’d have flipped me over by now and- for fuck’s sake, Lemon, stop this right now! This is Pri, she’s much hotter, and you’re going to be a good little top for her tonight. Now fucking focus!_

Priyanka’s hands shot straight for Lemon’s head again, blissfully unaware of the other girl’s thoughts, their teeth clashing as their mouths fought for dominance. And as Lemon moved to repeat her teasing action, Priyanka finally spoke breathily. “Please don’t make me beg, Lem, just… fuck me.”

Lemon’s eyes flickered between Priyanka’s face and her crotch, taking in the full extent of what she’d done. By herself. To Priyanka. Her hips were bucking desperately against Lemon’s, her hands grabbing at her tits, her eyes lost in ecstacy. She was desperate, and Lemon knew she couldn’t waste any more time. “Can I take these off?”

The girl underneath nodded so quickly her features seemed to blur. Tilting her hips up, Lemon yanked the offending black fabric off in lightning speed and positioned herself between Priyanka’s sinfully long legs. Gently kissing along the inside of her thighs as they spread in front of her, she took in the view.

_I guess this is it, then._

Tapping the pad of her finger gently against Priyanka’s opening, Lemon could still make out the hot, shiny beads of liquid which connected them in the dark of her room. This was why she loved women. She wasted no time, licking a long circle around Priyanka’s clit, burying her nose into the neatly trimmed pubic hair above as she latched her lips around the sensitive point. Priyanka’s stomach tensed as she inserted a single finger no further than her knuckle, manoeuvring her wrist to allow her to point it upwards. But she wasn’t letting herself get carried away yet. She felt her hair be pulled from around her face, Priyanka’s hands moving around her head without any kind of rhythm. But as the taller girl’s hips lifted further up the mattress, her thighs wrapping tighter around Lemon’s neck, she slid her index finger in all the way, knowing she’d instantly found the sweet spot by the way Priyanka’s entire body trembled above her, grateful that while the older girl’s breathing had become heavier, her vocal chords were still out of action. Wrapping her free arm around Pri’s thigh to gain some control back, she experimented with her tongue, alternating between flat laps sideways and flicking up and down. She had no idea which Priyanka enjoyed more, as she never stopped rolling her hips onto Lemon’s face for even a second. She was trapped, hooked on every sound and smell and sensation as she gradually upped the pace. Surprising herself at her own strength, Lemon managed to push Priyanka’s hips back onto the bed, ignoring the tiny whine above her as she removed her finger, only to gracelessly thrust in two in its place. She knew she was on the home straight, Priyanka was panting raggedly and had seemingly lost control of her legs as they vibrated against Lemon’s head. The only sounds were the wetness against her hand and the shallow creaking of the bed as Lemon struggled to restrain the thrashing girl below her. She was concentrating so hard on getting Priyanka over the finish line that she almost never heard the whispered order from above her.

“Look at me, Lemon, please.”

Lemon’s eyes instantly shot up, locked onto Priyanka’s ebony irises.

_Fuck, that’s such a Juice move…_

In a flash, Priyanka was covering her face with her hands as she came around Lemon’s fingers, her breath stacattoed as she rode out her high. Lemon suddenly rememberd where she was, making sure to keep her fingers moving slowly inside the panting woman, leaving tender kisses along Pri’s soaking wet folds as she came back to the real world, her thighs eventually loosening their grip.

As she opened her eyes, grinning at Lemon like an awestruck scientist after a breakthrough, Priyanka opened her arms, inviting the yellow-haired girl to join her at the top of the bed again. Wiping her mouth quickly on the back of her hand, Lemon plastered on a fake smile and crawled back up towards Priyanka, leaning in and kissing the now giggling woman in front of her. 

“Fuck, Lem, that was… wow!”

Unfixing Priyanka’s sweat-laden hairs from the side of her face and tucking them behind her ears, Lemon smiled back sweetly. “Yeah… That was hot.”   
She was so mad at herself. This was what she’d wanted, wasn’t it? Priyanka was sexy. Priyanka was sweet. Priyanka was funny. Priyanka was everything she could ask for, whether as a girlfriend or a sex buddy, or even just a friend. So why did it feel so… _weird_? She didn’t have too much time to think, however, before Priyanka had latched onto her neck, delicately placing tiny kisses down, edging closer towards her chest. She struggled to mask the guilt that was now rising like acid inside her.

“You don’t have to do that, Pri, I’m actually quite tired after that. Do you wanna just go to bed?”

Priyanka stopped, taking Lemon’s hands in hers and smiling lovingly. “Of course, I’m quite relieved you said that actually because I’m completely spent! Also I promise to cut my nails for next time, sorry! It’s been a while!”

Lemon couldn’t focus on Priyanka’s toned body as she stood up from the bed and stretched theatrically, or as she bent over and wiggled her bum suggestively in Lemon’s face as she searched among the dark bedsheets for her discarded underwear. Throwing her head onto the pillow as soon as Priyanka had padded to the bathroom, she couldn’t work out what was wrong. Did she still like Juice? Did she not like the idea of Pri and Juice? Whatever it was, it had to be fixed. And as she let herself get pulled tightly against Priyanka’s chest again, she closed her eyes and hoped to the gods of Tinder that her brain would start making sense again soon.


End file.
